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Pussy & pussy & pussy (and hypothetical pussy)  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
5/5/2018 8:03 am

Last Read:
5/6/2018 11:04 am

Pussy & pussy & pussy (and hypothetical pussy)

Well I just learned something . You know how if you're giving a woman a massage they want to wail away on their back like you're John Henry driving steel but any pressure on their legs and they kick you right in the dick ? Turns out the reason for this is that they're legs are basically also clits . Which kind of makes sense . Now I understand why people back in the day were so scandalized by women showing their legs .



Speaking of , I read a book when I was a lad about Nazis (I wonder if that's a banned word) who came to the future with their time machine and found out they lost the war so their initial plan was to take that knowledge to the past and try and change history BUT they found the way women strutted around with all their bits hanging out in the future too good to pass up so they just stayed to bang sluts . There's a message in there somewhere . Make love not war I guess .

The other day I was hanging out with Sweaty Betty and she says to me she says "We've been hanging out for like 3 years now and you haven't tried to fuck me in the ass , are you a pussy or what ?" You really can't win you know ? If you try to be nice you're a pussy and if you don't you're an abusive narcissist .

The other day at work a guy suggested that I "might be a pussy" and I says to him I says "Well , you are what you eat" and everyone freaked out like that was the sickest burn ever . Which I really don't understand . How is saying that I go down on women a burn on him ? I mean I guess you could say that I was implying that I have sex with a lot of women but still that's not really a burn on him .

Plus here's the thing , despite all the talk out there about female empowerment and what have you we definitely haven't reached the point where men brag about their oral skills - except in unsolicited TSdates.com messages of course .

Never once has a guy looked around and then leaned in and said to me "You know , I'm great at eating pussy" . Quite the opposite - the dudes I know who are super-dudey dudes are often proud of fact that they never go down . I suppose because oral sex has undertones of subservience , I mean they call it "servicing" right ? And as a mannish manly manly man they need to be dominant and strong and in control - you get on your knees and suck their dick , they don't please you . That's feminine and therefore sick and wrong (for a man) .

I really miss going down on ladies sometimes . It's been a while since I hah a regular partner and my non-regular sometimes sex buddy doesn't like it when I go down on her . The funny thing is I generally don't believe women when they say they like sucking dick but yet I like going south of the border so once again I am a hypocrite .

There's just something very satisfying about being between a woman's legs and hearing her little gasps and moans , feeling her body tense and then turn to jelly . It's totally cool . Plus sometimes you can sneak it a little asshole lick here and there , but you really should do that because of germs . Ironically it's safer to go ass to mouth than ass to pussy . Ironic and gross .

The sad part is I'm not sure I'm good at it anymore . When I was a strapping young man my lady friends RAVED about my oral skills but in retrospect I think that was 30% them trying to stroke my ego and 60% the fact that they hadn't been with many/any dudes that would do it willingly/eagerly . I used to think "hey , I may not be attractive , I may not have a pleasing personality , I may have an inferior wang , but at least I have the skills down south and that's not nothing" . So what do I have now ?

Just my six million twitter followers . I need to figure out how to monetize that . Surely once you have a certain amount of followers companies will pay you to tweet about their products .

I often ask hypothetical questions . Some people really don't like it . But the reason I do it is that I feel like you can get more insight into someone's personality when they don't get bogged down with details . If you ask someone something based highly in reality they often miss the point , they'll same something like "No , I would never do that because the traffic at that time of night would be terrible" when you were trying to gauge how they felt about euthanasia . I find people are often too literal to extract anything interesting about their personality if you don't make things fantastical .

Plus even if they give you a non-answer that tells you something about them in and of itself .

So , here's the scenario - it's 1798 and a French nobleman's has run away from home and gone to live in an American colony in the new world . Said nobleman has hired you to go get him and bring him back - which is within legal authority . He obviously doesn't want to come back and the colonists are willing to defend him if it comes to force . What's your play ?


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40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
5/5/2018 8:04 am

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
5/5/2018 8:24 am

knock knock knock

On the 1798 scenario, the only thing I can think of is to convince the escapee son how horrible it is to live in the uncivilized colonies compared to oh so civilized France. Maybe bring him some macarons. Or a sexy French lady to fall in love with, so he'd want to follow her back home.


40Deuce replies on 5/6/2018 11:05 am:
After my initial plan of taking hostages seemed likely to end with a violent bloodbath I also thought about the old honey trap - get a craft Parisian whore to lure him away and them WHAM

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
5/5/2018 5:51 pm

1798? I would refuse the job. I will have no part in returning a young nobleman to possibly face the guillotine.

btw - if you are what you eat then I must be nuts.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 5/6/2018 11:06 am:
You wouldn't last 5 minutes in the court of the Sun King with that attitude

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