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| Blogs > whoisagentj > The Dossier of Agent J |
THE WEEK FROM HELL
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THE WEEK FROM HELL Last week was not a good week. I would probably rate it as one of the worst weeks I've ever had of my entire life. It started Wednesday evening... My dad who had some problems with migraine headaches and dizziness asked me to check him into the hospital. When we got there his blood pressure was 214/165. So they admitted him into the hospital in order to help him slowly drop his blood pressure down, because they couldn't bring it down rapidly because it could have caused a heart attack or a stroke. Because of this, I had to take off two days for Thursday and Friday and cancel all of my scheduled work for the weekend that was supposed to happen for Saturday as well. Luckily I have a great boss who understood and told me to take the time needed to be with my dad and my family. What made this worse however was my ex wife. She insisted that I while my dad was in the hospital and I was taking care of him on Friday, that I drive up to her house, 50 miles away from the hospital, and drop off the support for her in cash that day. I had first asked her if I could come Saturday or Sunday instead, because I needed time with my dad as I was picking him up from the hospital that day. She insisted that I drop it off that day, and told me that I shouldn't be shirking my parental responsibilities to pay her the support. And that's when I snapped. Of course, it was Friday the 13th, a full moon was out and I just fucking let loose on my ex wife for being an uncaring, un-sympatric bitch who only cared about money. I ripped into so hard that she threatened to call the police on me for being violent and that I would never see my again. What was worse was while I was at the hospital with my dad, my got wind of everything and was asking what was going on. So I had to explain everything that was happening and in the process, I emotionally lost it. I started to cry over the phone and trying to explain to her that her mother threatened to take her and her brother away from me. I tried to regain my composure, but in the middle of the call I emotionally lost it, broke into tears and told her I would have to call back later. Saturday, because of all of the stress, I went to go an AA meeting in order to help me feel better and deal with the stress. A couple of the people even after the meeting asked me to go with them out to dinner afterwards, but for some reason, I declined because I wanted to get back to the house. Something was telling me to go home early. And I'm glad I listened to that inner voice. As I got home, my dad was there and he seemed normal when I got home around 7:30PM. I went upstairs, and around 9PM I then I heard my mom screaming for help. My dad had fallen over and he was complaining he was dizzy again. We tried to get him to sit up, and then he rolled over and say he couldn't get up. And then...his face drooped on the left side. He couldn't talk, had problems breathing, and he couldn't move his left side. I think he was having a stroke. I immediately called 911, and the local fire department came with paramedics to help him out. They got him to the ambulance, and they said he threw up in the ambulance. Afterwards, they got him to the nearest hospital, and by the time we got in there, we saw my dad. At first he looked normal, even talking normal. But then, he had a second seizure/attack/stroke I guess, and it was so bad, that his blood pressure dropped to 70/34. He almost died in emergency, but thank god for the emergency staff at the hospital, as they were able to keep him from getting worse and they restored his vital signs back to normal. So for the second time in one week, he was back in the hospital. Yesterday, they released my dad again. 6 days, 2 different hospitals, and right now...my stress levels are through the roof. The only sort of saving grace is...I'm at work now. And today...although I still have a lot of work to do here...it's quiet. I never would have thought to say this, but I am glad I'm at work now. Because things here are where I can escape my family life for the moment and focus on work. I am emotionally shutting down for a bit and focusing on work. I know that's not healthy. But it's allowing me to return to somewhat of a normal setting. If there is such a thing. As for my ex wife, I haven't called her. I did speak to my , and I apologized for worrying her, and telling her that her grandfather is ok now. However, I am still somewhat of a wreck emotionally. I'm still worried about my dad and my mom. What's worse is my mom health has worsened. Her blood platelet level was at an all time low and they had to postpone chemo treatment #12, her last one because her levels were too low. I honestly do not know how much more I can take of this. So much so, that I asked to my sisters to come over on Thursday for a family meeting. I need help, so I hope that my sisters can provide some extra help and work to get the family back to a normal order. I can't keep taking care of them anymore. I need some help. I'm tired. I feel emotionally dead inside. And above all other things...I felt like I almost lost my dad last week. But that's ALMOST. My dad is still alive. And I am so grateful to God that he's still alive. But part of me is still terrified. I also saw my dad near death's door. It not only scared me for my dad, but for me as well and for my . This past week, my mortality scared me. I thought of myself, and how it might affect my if I were to pass away. Right now there is so much to think of and I everything is just flooding in at the moment of stuff to do and things I need to handle. I just hope I can handle it. Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent  |
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Big hug. Its very difficult looking at mortality in the face. I think you are doing the right thing in reaching out for help from your family. Kids are strong and resilient, they can see some things clearly. Its better for kids to know that there is something going on then keeping them in the dark. They do not need to know full details but enough to understand that things arent normal and thats why you are acting differently. One day at a time, and as difficult as it may be try not worry about things you have no control over.
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Yes, I think it's fair to say you have had a crap week, and your ex wife was being a right bitch. Hopefully your sisters can pitch in and help you, try and take one day at a time and not think too far ahead, you cannot change what will or will not happen so just try and tackle it as it comes... do you know if it was a stroke?
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As always, thanks for reading. Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent
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