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FIXING THE BROKEN
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FIXING THE BROKEN Every now and again, people have problems. Dear lord, I know I've had my share of them as of late. But I've been doing my part to help fix the broken. Not only in myself, but my family as well. My family, while we love each other, we do a poor amount of communicating between myself, my sisters, and my mom and dad. I wish it was better, but we've been highly dysfunctional for a while now. However, sometimes a negative, like my dad's mini stroke episode, can be turned into a good thing. I asked my sisters to have a family meeting. And while my oldest sister couldn't make it, because she had developed pneumonia and was hospitalized for a couple of days, my youngers sisters came over, and we had a sit down meeting with my mom and dad. Now my dad is ok with finances, but my mom, while she is a good person and has a kind heart, she's got the<b> mental </font></b>faculties of a 12 year old. The chemo has also contributed to some medical memory problems and caused for a lot of trouble. But her handling her bills....she was living well past her means and banking on my dad to handle all of the bills, yet not contributing to the money situation. SO....we had a sit down meeting, and discussed a lot of things. Like that their living will situation was highly outdated, to where they hadn't done their wills in over 18 years. So my sisters and I are working to contact a lawyer to update and do all of their paperwork. Setting up their wills, powers of attorney for medical and financial situations, DNR paperwork (do not recessutate) so they can die in peace and not have to be in a coma for months on end, plus we checked on their finances so we can organize them. We also talked about getting them moved to a new 2 bedroom apartment or condo, so that they can have their own smaller place and not have to deal with a multi-floor house to take care of. No more weeding, lawn care, maintaining the house, cleaning it, going up and down stairs and be on a solid level 1st floor...stuff like that. Now while my dad was ok with it, my mom was stubborn. She wants to die in the house, and doesn't want to give up all of the memories. Which the way she's crawling up and down the stairs now...she'll slip and fall and kill herself if that happens. Eventually this turned into an intervention for my mother, confronting her with her out of control bills, the inability to clean the house, do her own laundry, and barely being able to cook for herself. In short, my mother thought we were all attacking her and that she didn't have a say in anything, but after we told her that the strain that she was putting on my father was evident, she relented and we asked her to be a part of this instead of forcing her to accept it. It wasn't easy, because she felt like we were treating her like a . And in fact, we are. She's not capable of taking care of herself, so we need to get her into a senior living apartment center in order to better help her get herself straightened out with my dad. And my dad....he coddles her. It's not easy dealing with parents at the end days of their lives, it really isn't. But I honestly believe we turned this negative into a positive and things are beginning to roll forward and I can see things are getting easier for my folks. On another note...all of this has gotten me to realize that I don't have anything like this set up for my . So I've been beginning to get the ball rolling for myself to help me set up this stuff for myself as well. You never know when your last day on Earth will be, so doing this now will make things easier for my down the road when my time comes. The point being....it's not easy to tackle the hard stuff. At best, all you can do is work on what you can work on and help to fix yourself. Sometimes, it's hard to be motivated to do the work, or procrastinate because you think you have time to do it. But when an emergency hits, are you prepared? Can you handle the hard stuff? We go through our lives thinking care free for the most part. But I can now see, it's easy to fix the broken when you pay attention the warning signs and do what you can to prepare for the worst. The old saying....an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of care. ***************** Speaking of broken, my mom is finally going through the last chemo treatment this week. We're happy it's coming to an end, but in a couple of weeks, we'll know the test results and hope that the chemo killed off the cancer for my mom. ***************** And speaking of more broken, my ex wife isn't talking to me. That could be a blessing or a curse. However, last week I did see my . And we had a long talk about their mom and how she handled things as of late. I told my that while I was highly upset and mad at their mom for how she handled things, I hope that going forward, things would be changing in how I wouldn't be dealing with her as much. Of course, because she's mad at me, she ended up taking it out on the , specifically my . She said that my 's attitude was getting bad, so she grounded my for two weeks. That was last week, so I hope this week, my ex can get her head out of her ass. She knows that she can't get to me anymore, so she takes her aggression and attitude out on the . That and I found out from the that she dumped her current boyfriend, so she's not getting any and she's alone again. Not that I care about her love life, but when she gets in these moods, she then takes it out on the with her bad attitude and she's a pistol to get along with. I had to have a talk with my and and explain to them as much as I want them in my life, I can't take care of them because of my folks with their problems. I'm hoping this will all change soon though, because the sooner I can get my folks into either an apartment or condo in a senior living center, I can get my own place and maybe work on getting partial custody of the . It's all a work in progress right now. Everything is a work in progress, and all I can do...is keep trying to fix the broken in my life. But hey, aren't we all a bit broken? Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent  |
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What a plate full. My family is very poor in the communication department. But I know that when I was between parents I got to go to court and tell a judge where I wanted to live and be specific about why. Kids say the darndest things and a lot of it is truths. I have no idea ( or I forgot) how old oyur kids are but maybe one day..... (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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9/25/2019 2:25 pm |
Good luck and God Bless! They r blessed to have u for a son!
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9/25/2019 11:41 am |
wow i thought i had issues with my family ..man you got me beat and where would i actually start to get back on track with the hugh load i carry every day but i have to say you must be a rock or you are like that putting a front and mush when you are alone ..I dont know what i would do in your case but again you are handling that well..bravo...Ppl tend to hang on to memories through material things such as houses places etc..they forget that the most happy times are in the heart and head ...cant really blame them ..my Own Mom went through that with certain family members ..she actually ended up losing her house after 62 years because of my one older Brother and one younger Sister...she is in a seniors home now at 86 memory issues but seems happy although she has forgiven those two the rest of the family is holding onto grudges and not as forgiving as Mom's are..I stay to myself and dont take sides except for my Mom she always let Dad deal with bills etc so it was all new to her when he passed she also let those two talk her into a hole and thus losing her house...but all in all I tend to listen more and offer advice less unless someone asks but i need both sides of a coin to make a good informed statement in the advice category ...great your Mom is doing well and on the last leg of her journey positive thoughts will get you all through...as for the ex pfttttt! her loss if she keeps an attitude like that ....lol
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My goodness that was a long post! But thanks for reading as always! Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent
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