Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93
 
I won this blog in a truth telling contest
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I'm not here and I'm not me
Posted:Aug 3, 2019 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2019 3:1 pm
831 Views

I haven't logged in in over a month and I gained 6 watchers? That always perplexed me.

I have a few final thoughts.

If you smile through the pain long enough eventually pain makes you smile.

Bone resorption is resorption of bone tissue, that is, the process by which osteoclasts break down the tissue in bones and release the minerals, resulting in a transfer of calcium from bone tissue the blood.

The Gila woodpecker is the woodpecker that doesn't live in wooded areas - specializing in exploiting cacti. They are listed as a species of least concern but they are effectively extinct in California and Nevada - climate change will likely destroy them within the next century. People don't usually think of deserts in terms of climate change but they're the ecosystems that will collapse first with an increase in global temperature. Is that irony? No, it is not, but it is what people think irony is.

Country music which drifts and crosses into the realms of Popular music. Mostly sung by attractive females, however is achievable by male singers in certain circumstances

Do You Want to Build a Snowman is the second best Christmas song of all time. What's first? Mariah Carey's 1994 single "All I Want for Christmas Is You". So suck on that.

The check is in the mail and I'll see you in church and don't you ever change.

When the bills come due and there's no more mo mo in the sho sho it's time go bro.

My other even worse blog for anyone interest elatheexpertbblogDOThomeDOTblog

Ltrz
4 Comments
Now you know what we are, now you know what you are
Posted:Jun 25, 2019 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2019 4:32 pm
1745 Views

I don't log in much anymore, but every time I do I get an IM from a lady who wants my dick! I never knew I was so desirable!

One time there was this movie called Superbad. You probably never heard of it. It's in my top five movies that had a trailer that made me think the movie was going to be great and then it sucked. Although, I was probably not the target audience.

At the beginning of the movie Superbad the guy who isn't Jesse Isenberg and the guy who was fat and charming and now is a skinny uggo were talking about signing up for a porn site and the topic of this discussion was which one to sign up for in order to not raise parental suspicion. They discuss possibly signing up for a porn site called Perfect 10 because "that could be any number of things" . I can't decide if this is terrible writing or brilliant writing.

Because, this is clearly stupid - if you're checking your credit card bill and you see "Perfect 10" on it you're going to go online and see what it is even if you don't think it's porn.

But on the other hand this does seem like the kind of moronic plan that teenage boys would come up with. Unless their parents are real hardasses who are on them all the time most teenage boys think their parents are about as smart as an empty turtle shell. Are teenage girls like that?

Another reason I don't like that movie is because I used to often quote the James Brown lyric "I got soul, and I'm super bad" and now everyone thinks that's a reference to that movie.

You know those dudes who bang their teachers when they're in HS? Do you think they grow up to be "normal" or are they all wonked up? It seems like that's happened often enough at this point that we should be able to do some research on this. On the one hand it seems like that would probably screw you up, but on the other hand I imagine there aren't a ton of HS boys who are going to turn down sex with just about anyone. So what does that mean?

Guardians of the Galaxy is a fantastic movie. I love it. But it has one of the more annoying movie tropes - which is people who know each other for like 5 minutes becoming "family" willing to sacrifice their lives for each other. It's not quite as bad as some times they do this because the undercurrent is that they're all losers who've never had a friend before but still it's hard to swallow (joke here).

Also who hired the dude with the eyebrows on Xandar to get the Power Stone? Thanos sent Ronan after the stone, the Collector was going to buy it from Gamora - who else knew about it and what was their deal?

One question a lot of people ask about the first Guardians is who decapitated the Celestial that became Knowhere but as we all know that was Knull wielding the Necrosword - one of the elder gods that existed before the universe was formed.

The Elder Gods are jerks like that, what's their problem anyway?

The other day , someone (who shall remain anonymous) made a Seinfeld reference that I didn't remember. It blew my entire mind. Granted it was from the first season which is weak, but still.

George gets mad that he's not allowed to use the executive bathroom so he quits. But then he remembers that he sucks so he goes back to work and pretends like that was a joke but his boss is like "yeah, no" and belittles him. What I do remember about that episode is that it's the one where Kramer gets concrete dust in his eye - which seems AWFUL.

SUPER ULTRA MEGA SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the final episode of Veep they jump 24 years into the future at the end which is another trope I find mildly annoying. Anyway they do they think were they try to make people look older with make-up and shit which is usually awful. They establish a few episodes before that Dan is 39 - so he's supposed to be 63 in that scene and he looks pretty much the same. That really bugged me.

If you're going to do that just get an older actor that looks close enough to pass. Also don't do that.

Also they're making a Picard TV show. It might be okay but I don't even know what's going on with Star Trek anymore - I mean we have different timelines now? I mean what is this, DC comics?

I haven't watched Discovery but it's amusing how many people that like Star Trek hate it and how many that don't like Star Trek love it. From what I've heard it's pretty much just BSG - except hopefully it's final episode won't be the worst thing ever.

I sometimes wonder which I hate more - the end of Lost or the end of BSG.

BSG
3 Comments
And fuck New York too
Posted:Jun 14, 2019 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2019 5:23 pm
2688 Views

I looked up the biggest data breaches in recent history for an article writing and I was surprised to see TSDates #3 - I knew that happened but I didn't know it was that big. I suppose that one didn't get as much press because it was just a bunch of deviant sex monsters that were the victims.

I don’t weigh myself but based on pants I’ve gained a significant of weight literally in the last 2-3 weeks. I’ve changed nothing that I can think of. So I got that going form .

I lot of people remember Crazy Eddie – his prices are so low he’s insane ! – which is weird because it was strictly as regional thing in the New York area. I suppose mostly people are probably thinking of someone who was ripping off Crazy Eddie. But what most people don’t seem to know/remember is that they dude was a big time fraud. His main deal was stealing from his own company and then laundering it back through the same company – they called it the Panama Pump which was also my name as a coincidentally.

The scheme fell apart when his wife caught him banging another lady – it always shocks me that people literally sometimes walk in on their partner being unfaithful. You have to want to be caught to be that careless right? Point is she knew about the whole scheme and blabbed.

Since the collapse of this fraud empire a bunch of people have bought the name “Crazy Eddie” and tried to do stuff with it – it never worked. As of last year the Crazy Eddie trademark is listed as abandoned. This means that anyone can use it. Enjoy!

Seems like everyone in the world is on vacation next week. I’ve never noticed this before. Is the third week in June always the vacation week? Why is that? There’s a Walking Dead fanfiction site called the Third Week in June, is it because of that. If you like Darryl and Beth banging that’s the fanfiction site for you.

Mercifully people seem to be over the zombie fad – it was one of the more annoying fads to me in recent history – but nevertheless a few years ago some Cornell eggheads did a predictive modeling project about a zombie outbreak. It’s interesting if you’re into predictive modeling – which obviously you are. The east coast goes down pretty quickly but then things slow down heading west – it takes about 28 days (good work people that wrote 28 Days Later ! ) for most of the US to be wrecked. But then the Rockies put a stop to things. So the West coast lives on to rebuild.

This model was based just on zombies walking around biting people – disregarding the classic trope of the infected nascent zombie jumping on a plane – but even with that included the northern Rockies are fine. Too remote and too thinly populated. After about another 30 days all the zombies fall apart and then the northern Rockies people live on to rebuild.

You have to wonder what a new US made of either of those groups as seeds would be like. YOU HAVE TO !!! NOW !!!

One of my co-workers has been talking a lot about how they’re going to move to California someday. That’s a thing that annoys me for basically no reason. Whenever someone talks about moving to California it makes me think of a short lived sitcom that was supposed to lampoon sitcom tropes – one character was a “rebellious ” and all they ever said was “I’m going to run away!” no matter what everyone else was talking about. And then the dad would say “There’s the door” and the would pout and then say “I’ll be good . . . . but I’m gonna get a motorcycle.” If you want to move then move, just shut up about it.

When I was a my sister used to say all the time that she was going to move to California. One time when she was in HS and bagging/threatening/whatever to make this move when she turned 18 I says to her I says “Stop saying that, you’re never going anywhere”. She started crying and I got in super duper trouble. My sisters were awful to me but I rarely ever said or did anything back to them. They could have set me on fire and it would have been fine but if I gave them a mildly dirty I was in all the trouble.

The other day All of was one, I loved that movie as a youth so I watched a bit of it wondering if it held up at all. The dialog is a little corny but it wasn’t too bad, seems like that’s common with older movies – I think at some people screenwriters started making a LITTLE more effort to make people sound like they actually talk. A LITTLE.

The thing that stood out to me the most is the super rich lady who has “all the in the world” says one point that her net worth is 20 million dollars. The movie is 35 years old but that still seems a little paltry for how rich she was supposed to be. Adjusted for inflation that’s 50 million in today’s dollars which clearly is rich but doesn’t seem to match how mega-ultra-wealthy she was supposed to be. I wonder if there’s just more winging around these days. You know, because of the computer.
4 Comments
Your triumphs mean nothing, your ideals are laughable
Posted:Jun 12, 2019 5:46 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2019 3:15 pm
2865 Views

Thanks to TSDates - Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Now - I have now seen tons of dicks. But logging in just now I saw something new. I don't know if it was a photoshop fail or if the guy is deformed or what but he's holding his unit so just the head shows and it looks like a small butt.

I've never respected a person half as much as I respect a with 3 legs. And I don’t even like .

My favorite part of any long form celebrity interview is when they talk about how they don't care about and they never wanted to be rich. I know why they do that but just once I would like one of these pretty boys/fancy ladies to say "I didn't start acting to get rich but I am rich and it's awesome! If you're not really really rich you should try to get right, I highly recommend it."

My whole career people told me I would always make it and I did. Maybe sometimes give up on your dreams.

Godzilla is on track to lose more than 0 million dollars. Which is a bummer because I like Godzilla movies. But on the other hand the new X-Men movie is eating it even harder so maybe they've finally give up on that lame franchise.

X-Men - Mediocre but cool at the time because comic movies were new
X2 X-Men United - Pretty good
X-Men the Last Stand - AWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL
X-Men Origins Wolverine - Meh
X-Men First - Beh
The Wolverine - Geh
X-Men First - Weak also totally screwed up the continuity
X-Men Days of Future Past - Mostly kinda okay
X-Men Apocalypse - BARRRRRRRRRRRRRF
X-Men Dark Phoenix - Didn't/haven't/won't see it but apparently it's garbage

That's movies with only one that was good. What is this Fast n Furious?

We as Americans must rally behind an evil empire in a war we don’t want if for no other reason than to see Drake sad. Go Warriors!

Remember when first came around and it was all positive and kind of silly and was about having fun and wearing clean underwear? I wonder how it changed to being about killing the police and drugs. I've been recording Of Mics and Men but not sure going to watch it. I've already seen a couple documentaries about the Wu-Tang Clan. How much is there to say really?

We all secretly hope that couples that post about each other all the time break up, right?

Yesterday Double D asked me if "in a pinch" I would be more comfortable with a person who looked like a woman but had a penis or a person who looked like a man but had a vagina. First option all the way.

When I started working in 2001 all I truly wanted out of the business world, at the end of the day, was to get really rich from it. You can help me with that dream. Bless you all in Satan’s name.

Some people say that Isaac Newton said the world is going to end in 2060 because that's 60 years after Charlemagne came to power and the bible (maybe) says that the Antichrist will rule for 60 years before the world ends. But he said the world was going to end a bunch of different years because he ate mercury which makes you go insane.

You can put queso dip on any chip don’t let society hold you back we only got one life to live and it is meaningless go nuts have fun.

I used to think the song Thunderstruck was real douchey but now I listen to like half the time I work .

still trying to figure where this Jacob's Ladder scenario began, with all of this being a hallucination as dying.

Do you ever wonder if Ariana Grande and Nikki Minaj are best friends? And if so do you wonder how that happened?
4 Comments
Live free or don't
Posted:Jun 3, 2019 6:13 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2019 5:29 pm
3296 Views

I think that's a recycled title. But hey, this is my 7 millionth post and I think it's the first one.

When they said there was going to be a Deadwood movie I thought they meant a REAL movie. I mean a 90 minute thing on HBO is just a slightly longer episode. I'm glad they did it (although I haven't watched it yet so maybe I'm not) but don't it a "movie".

Godzilla is eating hard at the box office. I mentioned this to my friend Thurston and he scoffed and said something like 'I don't care if a movie makes I care if it's GOOD". Which is an odd attitude because things that don't make don't get made. I find it akin to people who steal things they like instead of paying for them - you realize if they don't get they're not going to make those things.

There's a movie coming called Smart that looked funny - although I assume as a 41 year old man maybe a coming of age story about teenage girls is not for me - BUT THEN they started saying "It's a female Superbad!" so now I hate it. Because;

1. Superbad sucked. Recently I heard Jonah Hill talking about how he wrote that movie when he was 14 and it all made more sense because that movie is a trainwreck

2. It annoys me when they advertise things by saying "Hey you love X, well this is just like it!" It's always been around but it got way out of hand when Game of Thrones the big time. "It's Game of Thrones in space!" "It's Game of Thrones in a Hospital!" "It's Game of Thrones in the 1880s!" "It's Game of Thrones in a rural Kentucky grain elevator!" How about you try to succeed on your own merits?

Sadly one of my dearest and best friends has his illness bad everything he describes is by comparing it to something else. It drives me batty.

3. I especially don't like it when they say something is the female something else. Bridesmaids is the female Hangover? I don't think so. Because Bridesmaids is awesome and the Hangover is garbage.

Anyway, I probably won't see that movie. Adjust accordingly.

I decided my new thing was going to be fairy tale mash-ups. I was going to start with Rapunzel and the Werewolf but I got derailed quickly because the tale of Repunzel is based on Saint Barbara.

You see Barb was a Christian in the real early days when everyone else was a pagan so her pagan father put her in a tower. He tried to marry her off to some pagan dude and she was like "No way Jose, I'm a good Christian , I'll only be married to a good Christian ". So then they started in with the torture.

Now, the miracle is that each after they tortured her the wounds would heal - but that just meant more torture. Not to be sacrilegious but that seems like a bad miracle - it's like the miracle of every time you get punched in the you bounce back up to get punched some more.

Anyway eventually she escaped and some sheep got turned into locusts and someone got struck by lightening and it was a whole thing.

And now the segment that everyone hates "I repost a listicle and say stuff about it"

This is from "scientific facts" about cheating.

You're more likely to cheat if you've done it before - No shit

Younger Americans are less likely to cheat than older Americans - Their dividing line was 55. Which makes sense since I keep being told that young people hate sex and the human race will be extinct soon.

Women are now just as likely as men to cheat - power!

Cheating is genetic - Good news, you're not responsible for your behavior, free will is a lie!

Men are most likely to cheat when their 40th or 50th birthday is coming up - Makes sense, the only way men can finding meaning in life is by banging. Did you know that the average age difference between men and women having sex is directly correlated to how well women are treated in that nation?

People think everyone cheats but they don't get cheated on - This one I really like. When you ask people what the chances are that someone will cheat on their partner they say 50% but when you ask them the chances that their partner will cheat on them they say 5%. That's not how math works homeys. This is pretty common though , people always think they can beat the odds.

Gay stuff - This is another no brainer. Generally speaking if a man finds his woman cheated with another woman they can handle it, but if a woman finds her man cheated with another man they're gone in a flash.

The more dependent you are on your partner the more likely you are to cheat - I found this interesting. If one person brings in 70% or more of the the other person is way more likely to cheat on them. Especially when it's the man that makes less .
2 Comments
You want some Latino heat?
Posted:May 28, 2019 6:13 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2019 5:38 pm
4135 Views

The accusation has been leveled at me from time to time that I am a pessimist. I disagree because if I was a pessimist I wouldn’t even bother to do anything ever. However I can see why people might get that impression because, for example, my left pec (or boob if you will) hurts and my first assumption is that I have breast cancer.

But my second assumption is that I pulled a muscle so it’s a sliding scale.

When I was younger I often thought that I would rather get cancer than get a girl pregnant. It was probably true most of the time. One time when I had a pregnancy scare – and by that I mean the condom broke and I stopped immediately and there was no chance of any pregnancy but I was super freaked out – the lady in question said “think how awful that would feel if it knew you didn’t want it”.

I don’t understand this tactic. First of all why would you tell a one of their parents didn’t want it? Secondly , if I didn’t want the obviously I don’t care what the feels. And third, what exactly was she trying to convince me of? To pretend to want something I didn’t want? That doesn’t seem like an improvement.

That was the first lady I met from TSDates that “panned out”. The first lady I went to meet told me I had to shave my junk, which I had never done before, and it really squicked me out to see blood dripping off my balls. She didn’t show. That’s maybe the only time in my life I’ve been in a bar alone – one of the few times I’ve ever been in a bar.

Speaking of sliding scales sometimes I get down on myself because I don’t do a lot with my time. But then I think about how there’s a lot of people that have watched two different documentaries and listened to a podcast about the Fyre Festival. That doesn’t make what I’ve done any less pointless but again it’s a sliding scale.

There’s a new sketch show called Alternatino. It looks pretty good. I’m not going to watch it because I’ve decided I’m done with dude comedians in drag as a comedic device. An impression is one thing, that may be okay, but having a character that’s just a generic lady in your repertoire? No, I’m out. I didn’t watch the Kroll show for the same reason. Well that and it looked gawdawful. Do we have the in the Hall to blame for this? Or is it just a thing?

Dressing up as a woman in a drama is still fine. Remember the 1960s show The Ugliest Girl In Town where a guy pretends to be a female fashion model in London? And of course the episode of Suite Life where Cody disguises himself as a girl to enter a beauty contest in order to win the prize money and buy bikes for him and Zack. What’s that? You don’t think Suite Life was a drama? Watch it again hombre.

Today at work a lady was wearing a very nice blouse and I almost complimented it but I stopped myself at the last moment because I remembered that that is hate speech and creating an unsafe work environment. It was a close call but I’m woke AF.

I realized though that for all the in-roads we’ve made on this issue there’s one area that isn’t doing as well – women complimenting each other. I don’t think we can say we’ve made true progress as a society until a woman saying “That’s a cute skirt” to another woman is correctly interrupted as a prelude to a same sex sexual assault.

I was also thinking that as we stamp out the crime of compliments online stuff is going to become even more critical. Online you can set up a filter of appropriate things for people to say to you and anything else gets blocked. Sadly you can’t do that when you’re talking face to face. But we should be able to minimize that as much as possible.

I suppose the ultimate goal would be pre-arranged marriage where you don’t even know the person and only interact when it’s time to breed every seven years.

And NO everyone doesn’t breed at the same time, one seventh of the population breeds each year dingus.

The other day during a break in a marathon sex session Double D was expressing her opinion that Friends does not hold up well at all, but that Seinfeld does – an opinion which I share. She then went on to wonder if younger folks can relate to Seinfeld or would it bug them that 75% of the episodes wouldn’t happen if mobile phones existed.

It got me to thinking about MASH. I watched it as reruns obviously, but when it was first run it was a show set in the 50’s being watched by people in the 70’s. And I thought about what might bother the 70s people in terms of technology. And I couldn’t think of anything. Is that because I’m too young or because there wasn’t that big of a difference?

I tend to think people who assume all the most important technology was invented in their lifetime are vain fools but maybe there’s some truth to it sometimes – maybe mobile phones and the “internet” changed things more than other inventions.

Cars would have been different somewhat maybe but they were in a war anyway so that wouldn’t matter. I don’t know how accurate that show was medically but that would be different – which no one would notice anyway unless they were in the medical profession.

Was there no culture shifting technological advance from the 50s to the 70s?

The only data points I have are at my old job Big Boobs and Big Boobs 2 were in their mid-20s at the time and both loved Seinfeld.

The other day my buddy Pico de Orizaba and I were reminiscing about our youth when we started playing D&D and how we played for years and had a ball with only one book and now we have hundreds. I could tell he was trying to make some kind of point about how maybe we had more fun because we had less stuff but I don’t buy that – we had more fun because we were and that’s when you have fun.

I was explaining to a young person why we only had one book for so long which was a combination of several factors – we had no money, we didn’t know what all was out there to buy, we didn’t really care, and most importantly of all our ability to buy stuff was limited to whatever the one game shop in town had and wasn’t stolen by the employees – which wasn’t much.

When I was older I played D&D with some of those guys who “worked” at the game shop and one of them said how it was great because they could borrow all the books. And I said “So you wrap them back up before you sell them?” (at that time all game books were wrapped in plastic, I don’t know why) and he said “Oh we never take them back.” I asked him how that was “borrowing” and then I was never invited to play with them again.

It’s strange to me how many people seem to think stealing is totally fine.
On the other hand I stole a toothbrush once, and I thought about stealing a gaming console from a book store when I was in college so I guess I’m a hypocrite. Actually no I’m not, I knew it was wrong I just thought about it anyway.

Remember when Bridesmaids came out and it seemed like Kristin Wiig was going to be a thing? I do.
3 Comments
Someday you'll understand
Posted:May 24, 2019 5:34 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2019 6:08 pm
4108 Views

Someday I'd like to go to a Harlem Globetrotters game and shout the referees the whole time. And not in a fun way, in a the way people shout referees real games.

Traveling! Traveling! Come on ref, he's got the ball on a string! Are you fucking blind! gonna your family!!!

And if anyone tells to calm down I'll say "I got 50 grand on this game !"

Someday when in a public restroom and there's a guy in the stall really going to town making all kinds of noises I want to shout "Yeah buddy! Let 'er rip! You show 'em who's boss!"

Someday I'd like to put on a judge costume and go into a courtroom to watch a trial and see if anyone says anything.

Someday I'd like to answer the phone and say "You're going to have to speak up, naked right now."

Someday I'd like to visit the alternate universe were everyone is Jennifer Connolly and see what society is like. If everyone had an identical IQ what would the world like? More advanced? Less? Would there be some kind of prejudice still? Would there be art? Theater? How would they tell each other apart? By smell like penguins?

Someday I'd like to write a memoir of a famous celebrity that is 0% made up. I know people do that but they pretend that it's not made up. Why doesn't someone write a saying that Chole Kardashian created Star Trek?

Someday I'd like to create a youtube channel where I try to remember and explain episodes of Friends based only on the title.

Someday I'd like to spend an insane of time and creating a model of Tatootine.

Someday I want a house were the sump pump doesn't run all the god damn time.

Someday I'll die and probably that's it, but it could be interesting if it wasn't.

Someday I'll go into work and everyone will be wearing a creepy mask but me and I won't say anything because why would I? Either I've gone insane and m hallucinated or some really spooky shit is going down - either way mentioning it is a bad idea.

Someday I'll have to answer for what I've done

Someday I won't like the things I like now anymore.

Someday I'll regret buying all this crap.

Someday I'll go swimming and I think "why don't I do this more?" and then I'll see all the non-fat, non-pale, non-bad skin people and I'll remember.

Someday you'll thank me
3 Comments
They are not coincidences, just random events
Posted:May 22, 2019 5:39 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2019 5:10 pm
4173 Views

Chad is one of the poorest and most corrupt countries in the world

Today someone said "you cook right?" and I said "yeah, sometimes" and they asked "how long do you boil water?" This lead to an even unfunnier "who's on first type bit" where I asked them what they meant and they said they wanted to know how long to boil water. Eventually I figured out they were asking me how long to cook pasta. I love to judge people in general but I don't like to judge people to not being able to articulate themselves well since I have that issue myself - but come on.

Also if you have pasta you have a box that tells you specifically how long to cook it. Unless you're getting loose pasta somewhere. And if you're buying loose pasta I think you need to examine what you're doing.

"40 at the farmer's market-"

Zip your lid, I don't want to hear it.

On May 11th 1991 the Star Trek Episode "the Host" aired. It was the 23rd episode of the 4th season. The number one song was "Joyride" by Roxette. Thelma and Louise was #1 at the box office. The Novel by James Michener was a best selling book.

This episode introduces the Trill race which later would be featured prominently in Deep Space Nine. The Trill are worms that live in a pile of goo and they have these other people (are they also Trill ? I think that's just the worm) that think it's cool to have a worm live in them so if you win the Olympics on Trillworld and are super smart and have nice cans you win the honor of having a worm live inside you.

It's never made exactly clear how this works. Sometimes it seems like the worm takes over and the person is gone, sometimes it seems like they're somehow both in charge. It's sci-fi so nothing is really explained. Interesting side note in fantasy they often explain things that make no sense because it's magic in crazy detail, whereas in science fiction which is supposed to be grounded in reality they often don't even both and just essentially use science as magic.

Anyway so one of these worm-people comes aboard and Beverly falls in love with him - real quick. But he gets kicked in the dick so hard he dies - the body, the worm is fine. But it needs a new body - they can't live outside the goo without a body to infest. So they put the worm in Riker.

And Riker is all like "hey Beverly I'm the worm guy lets bone !" which implies that Riker is gone I guess? But that doesn't seem to be how it works later in DS9 when the lady from Becker loses her worm. Anyway Beverly is freaked out because Riker is her best friend and it would be weird. And the worm is like "I' not really Riker, I'm the guy you were already boning!"

Eventually Beverly gets over it and they bone.

So then the new host body shows up from Trillworld and they stick the worm in there. And Beverly is pumped but then she finds out that the her host body is a lady!

She can't deal so she tells worm-lady to hit the bricks.

When I saw this I was like "Boo, if you're in love just get over it and be super gay". But then I wondered if my girlfriend showed up tomorrow and was a dude would I be okay with that? And the answer is of course not, because I'm not gay. So why was I expecting this fictional character from a TV show in 1991 to be cool with it?

There's definitely some kind of notion out there that for a woman that's not as big of a deal. I don't know if that comes from porn or what. Maybe it has to do with an association between homosexuality and femininity? I don't know but I think it exists, I don't think it's just me.

Anyway that was my own personal prejudice that I discovered today. The fun part about being alive is there always new things to learn and dislike about yourself.

I've been told there's a test that will tell you how racist you are. Pretty sure I don't want to know that.

What horrible thing have you learned about yourself recently?
3 Comments
Surfs up space ponies, I'm making gravy without the lumps!
Posted:May 19, 2019 8:02 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2019 5:13 pm
4690 Views
In the episode of the Office "Phyllis's Wedding" very briefly you see Toby's date to the titular wedding. I was curious who this very attractive lady is so I scoured the internet and discovered two things . One that no one knows who she is and two that a lot of people really want to know who she is. Even in this day and age there are still mysteries.

Later in the show when it wasn't good anymore the Toby character was turned into an annoying sad-sack, but this was still the good years of the show when the joke was that outside of Dunder Mifflin Toby's life was pretty good and it was only there due to Micheal's insane hatred that he had issues.

I found out that what I'm doing on my other blog is called "flash fiction". Another name for it is "dribble" which I prefer because it sounds like drivel and dribble just sounds gross on its own anyway.

There's a lot of talk these days about how people identify. I've thought a lot about it and I have decided. I may be a 41 year old chunk-monster with a slightly lazy eye but I am going to identify as sexy lady wearing cut off shorts, a bikini top, one fingerless glove carrying a film reel canister.



This is me now. If you say it isn't you are not woke as fuck.

Sometimes when I joke about how people identify it seems wrong. But then again I also kind of feel like that's a sign that things are okay. Such as not that long ago you couldn't really joke about someone being gay because you know there was awful discrimination, but now there's just a little discrimination (probably not true and saying that makes me an asshole) so it seems okay to make a few jokes.

We all agree that the US legal system is broken and accomplishes nothing and anyone involved with it is awful but that doesn't mean that it can't be fixed.

What I'm thinking is that we adopt a system of trial by spider. We'll call up Rick Morranis and get that machine he built from Honey I Shrunk the - it's a little known fact he actually made such a device after filming that movie - and when someone is accused of a crime we'll shrink them down and have them fight a spider live on TBS. If they die obviously the situation is resolved, if they win they're free.

Now , and this is important, trial by spider does NOT decide if the person is guilty or not - because that's impossible - it merely decides if that person is punished.

You see that's the real issue with most legal systems - they're premised on figuring out if the person did something bad or not. That's too hard. Just decided if they should be punished.

I'm also considering trial by stone - which is not what you think.

'The right to privacy is a personal and fundamental right protected by the United States Constitution.' This is the first line in MANY state data privacy laws. But is it true?

Although the Constitution does not explicitly include the right to privacy, the Supreme Court has found that the Constitution implicitly grants a right to privacy against governmental intrusion from the First Amendment, Third Amendment, Fourth Amendment, and the Fifth Amendment.

So I guess it's kind of true?

I'm not quite sure what the 1st amendment means from a privacy perspective - I guess that you're allowed to keep your religion private. Or maybe it's about anonymous free speech? Not sure.

The third amendment makes some sense - your home is private in the sense that soldiers can't come in there and just make themselves at home. But that's somewhat tenuous if you ask me, seems more like a property rights thing.

The 4th amendment seems mostly clear - the stuff you have is private. Mostly.

The 5th amendment is clearly about privacy, although I often forget there's a lot of other stuff in there beyond the right to not incriminate yourself. Some of the amendments are a real hodgepodge.

But all of these things are about privacy from the government. I don't see that the Constitution gives us a right to privacy from other people or most importantly from all knowing, all seeing , all powerful corporate megalords.

However I don't know why it matters. If a state wants people to have privacy why do they need to invoke the Constitution? They can pass whatever laws they want - kind of. What's to be gained by bringing the Constitution into it?

I remember reading one time that the US Constitution is the best Constitution because it has the least amendments. Which seems like a weird argument. And also something that is 100% American. I wonder what happened to make this country obsessed with claiming to be the best all time. If America was a person no one would be friends with it - can you imagine someone who just talks about how great they are constantly?

If countries were people what country would be your best friend and why?
1 comment
I want attention! Look at me! Woooo!
Posted:May 18, 2019 9:28 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2019 5:15 pm
4657 Views

Bad news people. Keeping wasps in my attic (you know for sale to BDSM people) was getting to be a real hassle so I moved them to Double D's house and she's starting to catch on.

Some lady (and by lady I mean scambot) just sent me a message saying that she "loves" my dad bod. This is an outrage. Dad bod? DAD BOD? How dare she (and by she I mean a python script)? I can now say that I look like Thor though - you know in Endgame. SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thor is fat now!

At first I thought that someone has misspelled soldier when they type sodlier but then I realized that they must be talking about a trained and knowledgeable sod professional, normally working in fine home and garden store, who specializes in all aspects of sod service as well as sod and plant pairing.

How hard do you think it would be to convince people that there's a thing called Pasta Fleas - which aren't true fleas but are small insects that get in your pasta if you leave it in your cupboard for too long.

I was raised to believe that the worst thing can do is desire attention. If you've accomplished something you keep your mouth shut about it - no one likes a boaster. Wanting people to like you? Wanting recognition? Pure vanity. And of course pride is the worst of the 7 deadly sins. People often misquote the bible as saying that pride goes before a fall but of course we all know that what it really says is 'Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall'.

Note to self - purchase the domain name Hottie Spirit.

Sometimes people tell me that wanting attention is natural and I say to them that it's also natural to want to fling feces at people you don't like - something being natural doesn't make it good. That's the whole reason we created society. Well that and the systematic subjugation of women. And to facilitate bridge-building. It's real hard to build a bridge in a pre-civilized state of nature. Unless a tree falls over a river. Which isn't really building.

My sister, who was coincidentally raised by the same people as me, has real issues with her husband (or my brother in law if you prefer) because he comes from a background where you should have trophy cases and put certificates up on the wall and make a big deal out of stuff like that. She always wins though because she's the wife.

It's interesting to me that supposedly out there there are marriages where the husband is in charge, I've never see anything like that. I wonder if that's a class thing. Maybe middle class types are all pussywhipped beta cucks. I know I am.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right, Venice. Sometime around 810 the folks in Venice came up with a rudimentary joint stock trade company that allowed people with money and people who wanted to do stuff to get together and do stuff. This resulted in massive economic growth for Venice because inclusion is the key to making gobs and gobs of money. For the next couple hundred years Venice because king shit of fuck mountain. And yet today Venice is basically just a tourist trap - more of less the equivalent to the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

How did this happen? They figured out a way to include more people which made them more powerful, which resulted in them creating a proto-democracy of sorts - which quickly degenerated into a bunch of rich assholes reversing everything that allowed them to become rich in the first place. Because they were worried about other people becoming rich and taking away their power.

It's an interesting conundrum for a nation - the only way to succeed overall is for individuals to sow the seeds of their own replacement.

It's like when you talk your GF into anal and then she loves it and is getting slammed in the ass all over town.

So Venice did a thing that made them awesome and then people were worried about not being awesome so they undid all those things and as a consequence their awesomeness went away.

Seems like there should be a lesson in there but there isn't.

Other than that anal should be left to the professionals.
4 Comments
A dream realized
Posted:May 16, 2019 6:02 pm
Last Updated:May 19, 2019 7:25 am
4902 Views

I become fully aware of (something) as a fact today - the dream of Dr. King has become reality. Not in the way he envisioned probably, but these things seldom happen the way we think they will.

You see after more than a year my "new" job I have finally gotten an arch-enemy. She works in legal and she makes SO much and every second she has to waste talking to piece of garbage like the company THOUSANDS of !!! I was complaining about said arch-nemesis to Double D like the bitch that I am and she started cyber-stalking her and sending me pictures from her social media. And I thought "wow she looks much better in these pictures than she does IRL".

And that's when it , it no longer matters what we like, all that matters is how you can make yourself online. With the right filters and photoshopping you can be judged based on that rather than by what you really like. It's progress of a sort.

It's kind of like when they first invented TV and thought it would be a great tool for teaching - it didn't quite turn that way but it did change things.

In mildly related news on 's Day my mom asked what catfishing is. It was the highlight of an otherwise crummy day.

I like Parks and Rec, the TV not the real thing - I hate that - and now that's its on various channels pretty much 247365 I watch bits and pieces of it often. The other day I saw an episode where Rashida Jones character, Ann, was wearing an outfit that was completely see through. It wasn't even a bit or part of a plot or anything, it was just wardrobe apropos of nothing. I never noticed that before. And I was REALLY looking.

mildly ashamed to admit that I loved the first few episodes of Angie Tribecca but the last season sucked a dick. And not in a good way. I assume it got cancelled.

People have often asked me about the origin of my "name" 40deuce and I have given a variety of explanations - all plausible for someone of my ilk - but the real reason is that I planned on blogging on this site until I was 42 and then quitting forever in a overly dramatic fashion.

People making a big deal about quitting their blog amuses me, since much in the way same way wrestlers "retiring" usually last about three weeks they usually come back pretty quickly.

Anyway the point is in 3 months I am going to quit this site FOREVER and NEVER come back!!! Never, ever, never.

Did you know that Peggy Lipton was Rashida Jones' mom? I didn't.

On a postcast Bill Hader said that if someone traveled back in time and killed him the only thing that would be different is that Rain Wilson would be on Barry . I thought that was pretty funny.

The state auditors have been onsite talking to me and my ilk at work at lot and during a conversation with the CEO the main auditor dude was talking about how much he admired her because she was putting her ass on the line and he had chosen a career path where he was safe in the sidelines.

It's always jarring to me when I realize/remember/am confronted with the fact that some people, maybe most. have chosen the life they're living. I have had no goals or ambition or plans. I have the job I have and every job I've had because it was a job that I could get. I've never gone after anything.

Does that make me a loser? If you were driving by in your Trans-Am and you saw me walking along the sidewalk would you throw a beer can at my head and shout "NERD !!!"? And would you get away with it because your dad owns a car dealership and my dad is just a postman?

morituri te salutant
4 Comments
Crouching like a lioness over a cheese-grater
Posted:May 8, 2019 5:51 pm
Last Updated:May 16, 2019 5:40 pm
5796 Views

I don't mean to brag but I very rarely spill anything. But when I do I get SO angry. I just spilled a thimbleful of Cherry Coke Zero and if there was a button I could press that would all life in the universe there's a split second after I spill where I would hammer that button.

a pretty even-tempered fellow (passionless and bland some would say) so the rare moments when I feel real anger, and I mean REAL anger not someone cheeses you off work anger, I don't like it all.

Did you know that tiny chick with the big rack from the Big Bang Theory is super gay? I didn't? On a scale of one to how offensive is it that when I learned this I thought "Man , as being gay becomes more acceptable to the general public there's certainly a lot more attractive lesbians". Like a probably?

A classic sitcom trope is the woman (wife usually) withholding sex to get her way.

Lesbians in fiction never withhold sex from each other, either because they understand each other well enough that this is unnecessary, or because women don't want sex and you can't withhold what you aren't having in the first place, or because doing so would trigger the collapse of the internet.

And men, of course, are incapable of withholding sex (which is why withholding sex from them is so effective), so they can't try this on their women. Plus, as noted earlier, women don't even want sex in the first place, so it wouldn't work on them anyway.

Well, except on cable, where the standards of drama have caught up to those of porn.

As you all know I am SICK TO DEATH of all the step-mom bullshit plaguing the porn industry these days. And much to my disgust I came across this -

(This is in reference to the Numenoreans taking over and colonizing the lands of the Womaw during the first Age)

'Womas Drus appeared resigned to the outside domination of the Numenoreans and many of the Womaw Hiona had disclaimed their allegiance to the Highlord. Proud and desperate Komul sought help elsewhere and turned to his age-old ally Dardarian.

Daradian met Komul at the Isle of Sunrise, at the easternmost point of in the Middle Lands. There, the elf-queen seduced her stepson using her exceptional beauty and charm."

GAH , even in Lord of the Rings I can't get away from this stepmom humping !!! Now I know that the First Acknowledgement was based on gross sex. And I can't un-know it.

JRR Tolkien. Maybe I should re-read the Game of the Thrones books, nothing unsavory happens there.

Now that I think about it there seems to be a strong streak of fantasy authors who include freaky shit like that in their books.

Hmm . . . .
7 Comments
A chicken in every pot and a toad in every hole
Posted:May 4, 2019 10:04 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2019 5:34 pm
5702 Views

Toad in the hole is a British dish featuring sausages baked in a thick batter. If you know what I mean. It's traditionally served with rump steak. If you know what I mean.

Most women love a British accent. A few women hate it. I've never met a woman who had no opinion one way or the other. I suppose that's because Britain is the father of America. The point is if you like a British accent you're one of those gross women who calls their lover "daddy" .

New movie idea - a super macho chauvinist type dude gets into a melee with a serial killer wielding a butcher's cleaver (as a opposed to another kind of cleaver). He survives but he needs a blood transfusion on account of his horrible injuries. After the surgery he says "Yo Doc, who's blood did I get someone's sweet like Marc Cuban or Mark Walhberg?" and the doctor says "Just an anonymous female donor". RECORD SCRATCH !!! Now he's full of lady blood and starts acting all lady-ish and has feelings. He falls in love with one of his bros and they make sweet, sweet love all night. Then the serial killer is back! He kills his bro-lover and there's a deadly struggle.

I call it the Bloodening of Bloody McBloodo Blood Blood Blood. This movie will make 57 million dollars, mostly overseas.

Instead of just whining like a bitch about not reading much anymore I decided to do something about it. Even though I'm SO busy ALL the time there's always half an hour in most days where's I'm just rambling around not really doing anything. I'm making an effort to use that time to read.

I'm getting back into the book Why Nations Fail. I like it but like many of these scholarly type books I read the point is made in the first 50 pages and then they just keep making the same point over and over again. Which I understand is how these books work, they're try to show examples of their theory, but it's a bit of a slog for someone of my ilk.

Anyway, there was an interesting diversion where the author present the idea that we owe all our current freedoms to the Black Plague. How's that you ask? I'll tell you.

The theory is that humans have pretty much been setting up violent military dictatorships since we first starting doing stuff. Which in and of itself is kind of a sad commentary. Anyway so we were going along with these pyramid scheme type deals until the Black Death hit Europe and killed half the people around.

So suddenly half the pyramid base was gone, which meant the top pyramid people were suddenly half as wealthy. And they didn't like that at all. So one enterprising authoritarian jerk went to the peasants of some other top of the pyramid person and said "hey come peasant for me" and they said "why, it doesn't matter to use who steals all our shit" and he said "well come peasant for me and I'll steal 10% less of your shit" and they took that deal because why wouldn't the?

And then some other dude was like "Hey, come peasant for me and I'll steal 20% less of your shit" and it turned into an arms race of trying to get people to come be your peasants - it was a fine line of giving them SOME freedoms and still making yourself super rich. But it resulted in the most "progressive" feudal assholes getting more powerful while the worst ones (in terms of social progress) had their power eroded.

This eventually lead to common people thinking "hey, maybe we should have some rights and aren't disposable garbage". And here's the interesting twist, this happened in Western Europe and not Eastern Europe because Eastern Europe was more developed, they were more culturally advanced so they had more tools to wail on the peasants and keep them in line. Western Europe was less developed so they had less ability to exert control. Britain was the weakest nation and the time which mean poor people were able to get the most power which in turn meant they became the most powerful because the more people that have "skin in the game" the more dynamic and cool you become.

Before that Spain was the best because they were the best and oppressing the people at the bottom, but once that structure cracked that same idea made them the worst.

So take a moment today and thank the Black Death and the fleas that carried it for bringing us the freedoms we love so dearly today.
3 Comments

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