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DeInSLC 59F
84 posts
11/23/2021 9:22 pm

Thank you for sharing. This helps me understand your relationship with DOST much better.

You don't have a Religion chosen in your Profile, and you don't state in this post what your beliefs still are. I am guessing a lot of the Christian beliefs and scriptures are still important in your life, based on your comments in this post. Am I accurate?

It was very hard for me to get over decades of religious indoctrination and move past the (potential) societal condemnations, but I am a much kinder, much better, and much wiser person for leaving those chains behind me. I've learned that society evolves and changes. What once was condemned is now acceptable. I've also learned that I don't care what society thinks about my actions, my behavior, and my life choices. If people decide to judge me, that's on them. I don't care what people think. Only a few select people (and their opinions) matter to me.

I wish you well in your health journey and with your relationship with DOST.

- De


G000dbuddy 36M
1676 posts
11/24/2021 1:57 am

Well, let's see.

goodbuddy781


leefury7 73M

11/24/2021 5:15 am

Wow, a real and thoughtful post on this site. If I may respond...

You wrote in conclusion: As the Kamasutra narrator said, I too... find this act of having sex with DOST a beautiful experience... it's not dirty at all. Maybe in the moral world, yes, we are having affair, we are immoral in the eyes of the society. I will always be condemned as a 'slut', a 'mistress', whatever

I know exactly where you are coming from. And I completely identify with the situation and emphasize the your complexity of the situation. Seven years ago I met a woman while on vacation. At that time, I had been married almost forty years. And over those years I had hid myself in my work to provide for my family. I won't go into all our marriage issues only to say that, as Christian's ourselves, educated Christians, though we are totally incompatible, especially in the bedroom, we have and continue to remain married. She smoothers me. I have changed my entire life for her. So when I met this woman when on vacation (my wife and I never go or do anything together) I suddenly was transported back to being the sort of person I was before I got married. You mention the height difference between you and DOST. I am average height but Ms. PR only came up to my shoulders. I loved the height difference because she had to look up at me when we stood next to each other. Though she was older than me, she was lively, full of energy, adventurous, laughed at my jokes, constantly called me by my name, and actually talked to me. We hit it off immediately. It was only suppose to be a getaway for a long weekend. It ended up last almost three weeks. I had totally forgotten what it was like to have fun. She introduced me to her friends. They gathered with us at night to play cards and dominos. Everyone made me feel like part of their circle. So I can readily identify with all that you have confessed to.

After flying back home, I nearly asked for a divorce because I remembered what it was like to be alive again and I didn't want to slip back into what had put me in a cage. But family responsibilities come before any sort of selfish desires and here I am back in the cage. I know right from wrong because they really do exist and we will all one day have to give an account for out lives. But I also know the love covers a multitude of sins.

I don't believe in chance. I look at life as kindergarten. In Frank Herbert's book, DUNE, there is the statement, God created Arrakis to train the faithful. We are all learning how to be faithful. We all fail miserably at it. But we are not alone. We are not forsaken. We are understood and accepted despite all our faults.

I have come to realize that life is all about what is taught when it is written, He who is first shall be last and he who is last shall be first. We are to be like Him. We are humble ourselves and put others first no matter what. His example exemplifies what it means to be a servant. And to be a servant does not mean we are door mats. It just means we do things in love as best as we can.

I lost touch with my vacation lady friend. I often think of her and reminisce about the wonderful time we had together. How alive it made me feel. How fulfilling the physical intimacy was. How great it felt to have someone return the servanthood nature, giving herself as much to me as I to her. Was it wrong. Obviously. But it was confessed and I have moved on. It was a learning experience. One day those sort feelings of contentment and fulfillment will be ours with everyone. Hope can be a dangerous thing but it can also be the thing which carries us on in this life.

Thank you for sharing your story. I know the struggle all too well. Feel free to drop me a line on my blog if you want to talk about it on a deeper level.


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