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Do Guys Actually Reject Women Because They're Intimidated by Them?
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Do Guys Actually Reject Women Because They're Intimidated by Them? Yesterday, while I was attending the Arizona Cardinals game (against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers) in Glendale Arizona, I ran into a friend (Claudia) that used to live in Los Angeles. It is always nice to see people with whom you have known,enjoyed spending time with casually who have moved and you have lost touch. We both had tickets in the club area of the stadium (and seemingly cool people we both attended the game with) so we had a couple of lounge areas in which to choose and to find a table to sit and talk for maybe 15 minutes and to try and catch up. It seems when she moved in 2007 or 2008, her now ex-husband had been transferred to the Phoenix area for a job. They both made the decision and then moved the family to the desert for his job transfer. Subsequently, for whatever the reasons, she divorced him and decided to go it alone and stay. Claudia was always fun and bubbly at neighborhood functions. Even at school open houses she would be the goofy and fun parent all the loved and gravitated to. Her smile was infectious and generous. Her wit and humor second to none and she loved to laugh. Educated, errr highly educated. University of Pennsylvania, undergrad and a masters degree from UCLA in Business. We were neighbors in Pacific Palisades, our attended the same elementary school and middle school, so I know a lot about her. She was never someone I would date, not because she was smart, intelligent, cute body and sexy..it was because she was married and lived less than 5 blocks away from my 's mothers house  ! We sat for a few minutes to catch up, and after we exchanged pleasantries and caught up on our like proud parents do, Claudia asked me about my dating life. She knew I was not with my 's mom and was single way back when. She told me she admired how I balanced my 's mom and kept things respectful. She shared that I always showed up without disrespect nor had I showed off publicly with any other women I was seeing. Claudia told me about the issues she was having in and around the single life and dating arena in Phoenix. She has since started a consulting company (2009 or 2010) that sends her around the country and also a few other continents. She is a stunning brunette. Maybe 5'6 or 5'7, Jewish with the cute shapely body of a nubile woman 20 years younger. Smaller breasts, maybe a "B" cup. She was wearing her Larry Fitzgerald woman's jersey, in Red. It looked great on her, yet with her smile and friendliness anything looks attractive on her. I am just partial, since she is friendly and nice to me. She told me the guy she was with was a friend and that she cannot find a decent guy to date over the age of 40! She told me about a few meet and greet "Tinder" and "Bumble" experiences that she never got a second call back for date. She shared her early Match and POF experiences,this right after her divorce and that age appropriate men would reach out, interact for a few emails and then dissipate into thin air. She mentioned she had expanded her range to Los Angeles, Orange and San Diego and has even flown out to meet guys on what she called dating weekends. I asked Claudia a few questions on what she thought it might be. She told me that when men that she went out with, with find out that she is a funny, educated, financially self sufficient who also has common sense who is also cute they men seem to shrivel up / curl up in a ball and shut down. Her is a college graduate and lives in New York interning for a book editor, so a at home is not her issue. After her divorce from Marcus her ex hubby (he was always intense with out sense of humor - but I liked him too) She bought a condo in Scottsdale and recently an apartment in New York (where her stays) so she is not destitute or needy. This is not the first time a woman has confided in me about men and their actions or in this and other cases, lack of action. I really wonder, do men (at least some of them) reject women when the men themselves feel intimidated? What do you think?   "Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.” |
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these women don't appear to need men ... That's not it. The reason men lose interest in her, or from her perspective, "Seems intimidated", is simply because she is busy. No need to waste his time with a woman who is too busy for him. If she wants to fuck, she can call him over for a booty call. for what men think women need...someone to provide for them....Maybe 40 years ago, but definitely not now. Men are certainly not looking for women to support. That would be a huge waste of his money.
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I have found this to be true. I don't think I am a beauty queen, but I do have a very extensive background of knowledge and am not afraid to do things that are not 'womanly' such as I do own my own chainsaw and a tractor. It seems that many, not all!!!!!, but many men are intimidated when they find out I don't 'need' them. Want and need are two different things and yes, I may want to be with someone, but I don't 'need' to be with someone to feel complete. I hate the idea of I have to 'dumb down' in order to get along with anyone. I am definitely NOT Albert Einstein, but I am also not a bimbo and won't act like one. I also don't jump into bed instantly because someone gives me a compliment. I have found that many men, again NOT all, won't take the time to get to know a woman as they want instant sex. I have had multiple time been approached and as soon as they find out I am not easy the encounters end.
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I think that as women we like to think that a lot more than it happens. (And will I sheepishly include myself in that for the sake of honesty) What do *I* think happens? I think it's a lot of things that are more visible in online meeting/dating that it was before, as well as the clash of what we used to believe dating was like and what it looks like now that some things are more obvious and some things might be more hidden. OK, let me move on from the Social Science mumbo-jumbo. As long as there has been "dating" as we practice it in the West roday, the vast majority of dating situations were one and done. Two people would go on a first date, *maybe* there was a second one, but one or both of them wouldn't be into the other person and that was it. It's human nature to assume that people we find attractive will find us attractive too. So if we find someone interesting and attractive enough to go on a date, or two or three, and they don't return the interest, we have to explain it to ourselves in a way that doesn't hurt our egos too much. That's normal and the way the mind is supposed to work. In this case a lot of us play the sour grapes game, "well he felt threatened by me and that's why he cut out". You never dated her so you would have no way of knowing if there were aspects of her personality that come out in those types of situations that are a turn off for some men. She was just coming off of a divorce, do you know how needy, snide or angry some people (not just women) can seem without intending to or realizing that they are? Proximity and age are also much bigger factors than we generally like to admit. If he's chatting with several women online (and no doubt these men probably were) someone who is more accessible . Was sex involved? If it was, maybe that was all he wanted or it wasn't satisfactory for him. If there wasn't, maybe that was a dealbreaker for him. There could a million different reasons.
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do men (at least some of them) reject women when the men themselves feel intimidated? If he says, he was intimidated, then "Yes". But if she says he was intimated, then "No". What do you think? ... There are men who just don't have a healthy level of self esteem, and so lack confidence. If a man rejects a woman, he does so because he is not sexually attracted to her, or she is showing she is not going to be available for what he wants , when he wants. You should have sex with that woman, instead of being her sounding board token gay best friend.
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