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| Blogs > Mikemike107015 > Thoughts deep and shallow |
Love bites.
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Love bites. I've found myself in a position I had no intention of being in. I have been avoiding a serious relationship for the last couple years for many reasons. Until recently I've had no issue with this. I've made many friends and had no problem maintaining a safe distance. I've had great fun and I've had some great experiences by having relationships of a purely physical nature. And all of the sudden I find myself here, in love with a beautiful wonderful woman. It scares me to death. I purposely avoided such situations because I did not want the feelings of thinking of someone night and day. I did not want the feelings of worry that I may screw things up. I did not want to have to take someone else's feelings into consideration when doing whatever I want whenever I want. But here I am...feeling in such a way. I suppose that's sort of how love works. Its not something that can just simply be avoided. Its a feeling that one does not ask for but developes on its own. Its a feeling that evolves with each hour of each day with no control. As I found myself with these feelings I wonder what I should do. I guess I was crazy to think I could just avoid it. I mean does one truly avoid something that isn't something that one can see. How does one avoid a feeling that developes and evolves between two people. Without warning the feeling hits you and there is really very little that can be done about it. For many reasons I find myself scared to death that I'm just going to end up hurt over all of this. The first and and most pertinent of these reasons is quite simple. She is half way around the world away from me. You see...we chat together here and things have developed from there. Being an average working man paying taxes leaves me no money to ever be able to travel to her country and possibly be with her. I barely make it as it is and simply don't have the means to travel. This is also a bit of a double edged sword as we are from totally different cultures. Not that a culture difference is impossible to overcome but it creates yet another barrier to overcome to actually be together. Secondly she is some 22 years younger than me. I can't help but believe that I would not be able to keep a 20 something beautiful young woman happy. I mean at 48 I'm a decent looking guy in fairly good shape but time is not on my side. What would happen 5, 10, 15, 20, years from now. She would be a young and healthy woman and I would be an old man. She deserves to be with someone much closer to her age and there would come a time where I would be nothing more than a burden to her. That simply wouldn't be fair. However rational my thoughts are on this situation I still can't shake this feeling.I can't help but want to talk with her constantly. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop dreaming of spending some time physically together with her. I almost wish I could just flip a switch and turn these feelings off. But it simply does not work this way. One of the things I do miss is making love. I have plenty of sex but I've not made love to a woman in several years. As my feelings for this particular woman evolve I find myself missing this even more. I want so bad to touch her. Touch her backed up with LOVE. I want to kiss her lips and feel the warmth one feels when love is present. I want to look deep into her eyes and tell her I love her with every fiber of my being. And yet I cant and probably never will. Love bites. Love bleeds. Its bringing me to my knees! ✌ Mike |
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Amen
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J Geils Band " Love Stinks" Does she have any idea??? (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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11/4/2018 5:47 am |
We all can relate.
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11/4/2018 5:52 am |
I never allow myself to get involved with any long distance romance ..whats the point if someone has to be always chatting by phone or text or whatever means? Its ok to talk to someone but allow yourself to become involved ? Please ! If you have plenty of sex ok but why not try to be a bit more fussy and allow yourself to open up to someone who is touchable..There are lots of really great women on here and elsewhere and now come on yr 48 years old time to buck up soldier ...If you cant reach out and touch someone then its not worth the reach...
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I know what you mean sometimes
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Lust and infatuation can be mistaken as love. Happens every day. We see pretty people all the time on the web. We don’t see the truly real person online. I don’t care how hot he is or he says all the right things, if he is not accessible, I keep moving on. Why torture myself?
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