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Sorry, I’m a little slow on the uptake
Sorry, I’m a little slow on the uptake So I get into this deal (I suppose this is what a “” is all about. The very nice looking older lady was very direct in her approach and said how she wasn’t getting any home, and she didn’t mind traveling, and how she wanted to get together and do it in the deer blind. Well, my dumb ass falls for it hook, line, and sinker. Alas, it turns she (if it even was a she) was just “fantasizing”. C’mon dude... That’s like crying wolf. Forget all the romantic allusions and double-entendres I employ so well. Ok, so maybe I didn’t play that one quite right... |
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Perhaps the most outlandish story gets the pussy. I doubt it though, this site has provided zero real women. So far... Plenty of guys though...
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Iff’n you was wanting to make the Change of Life, this is a good site to run...
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Well, did you suck up the websites intro advertising marketing media? Did you get told just exactly what you wanted to hear? Better be careful with that.
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the deer blind was a dead giveaway
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And then this other chick told me if I would just buy her a "tyre" she would drive to see me. She must be from up north...
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When you're swerving on Life's Highway, you're running someone off the road.
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A gal would have to be awfully ambitious to want to get it on in a deer blind in a Texas July. If the wasps don't get you the brown recluse will.
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Then there was the gal who yelled at me for asking what her Master's Degree was in. As if... Jeepers
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Then there was the gal that asked me how many other ladies i was talking to on this site. I replied I was talking at a bunch of women, but not talking to any.
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Back to this Daddy concept. Now if I were to become acquainted with a gal in her 20's or 30's, I don't see why a couple of times a month I couldn't make you feel special. Now, if you're in your 40's or 50's, we might could fake it good enough to pass muster and not look funny. Now, if you're in your 60's or more, then I won't feel any discomfort over our ages. No matter what, I'll make you feel special and you won't regret our interaction.
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As we used to start off all our oilfield stories, "This is no bullshit"... So my gay gal turned me on to one of her high school classmates and longtime friend. We start texting and are soon the best of friends. She mentioned she had recent oral surgery and in one of the several pics she sent me was one of her meds. Amoxicillin and Ibuprofen 800's. But first before the good part, more of the story... So I go up to her simple apartment, worried that my new 2500HD in Hot Red was gonna get jacked. We smoked a bowl and we decided to go for lunch...There were 2 well-recognized Mexican joints on a nearby corner. She always went to the more well-known one and had never been to the lesser-known one. So that's where I took her, the lesser-known. Valet parked my truck (which I never do). But after getting dinged in the Academy parking lot and having to pay the ding guy $187.50 to get it out, I figured wtf... So, in our pre-engagement text conversation, I ask can I bring her anything to drink? And she says, No I don't drink. And I knew she had had some sort of prior consumption problem, and I asked her specifically if hanging out with a known drinker like me was gonna drag her into the abyss, she assured me it would be ok. Well she wanted to sit at the bar ( when a person who doesn't drink wants to sit at the bar, that's a red flag), and that was jake with me. The guy brought waters and she decides she wants a shot of Patron to "chill her out". I order a Dos XX amber in a cold glass and take it all in... It was a lot like that part in the bar scene of Coming to America where the chick says she wants to be an actress and a producer and really wants to make her own movies and on and on. Lost $3M to her former business partner... Then she asked about their IPA's and got one of those. And I got a Negra Modelo in a new glass and before long she was sipping on it. I never ordered lunch. We have a short conversation about my needs. How I was looking for a steady lunch/blowjob gig. When my wife makes me "go fast" I can do 15 minutes start to finish. So anyway, $60 later we leave the restaurant. She asks if I have house booze and I say yes, I have beer. She says she loves beer...So she mentions about what I'm about to do is so great and how it will help her out so much. Sensing something amiss, I ask what she had in mind about the money side of the arrangement. That's when she says, "You mentioned $800". And the light came on...I had asked her in the ongoing pre-engagement text conversation "How are those 800's working for you?" (having not ever seeing that particular magnitude of Ibuprofen previously). And somehow she translated that comment into my willingness to contribute that amount to her benefit. No wonder she was so anxious to meet up... Please send me a normal woman, with her own shit, that needs a decent man for mutual benefit.
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As she turned to leave she says, "Last chance $500". I told her I'm afraid she has misjudged me...
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Said she was behind on her rent. Probably texting her landlord from the restaurant how she would be bringing by a guy with some money for her account. The moral of the story? Don’t text with old guys, talk to them like real people. An vice versa...
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