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Myself, so very bare and in your lap ... whisper #12.  

tomboytgirl68 55T
23 posts
6/12/2021 1:25 am
Myself, so very bare and in your lap ... whisper #12.


And so ... experiencing then and now the transcription of ... that Saturday Night Adventure ... just recently actually ... but now part , the climax of the evening and I have tried 3 times capture the essence of and missing the soul of . Yes, I thought I was doing the job by juggling my ever so recent memories of a couple months, keeping the balls in the air of logic and reason balance with veracity ... , with overall accuracy, make sense of it all. But as I was writing ... each time it all just started bog down, yielding conformity, social harmony, justification and clarification of it ... mediocrity. But now, after taking a few moments review my last posting or part before beginning draft my 4th attempt with part , I think I am beginning get . was not that the other 3 didn't ring true ... has been that was no soul, not really worth writing about remember whatever. But, what I had missed as I did not review it before continuing, was that in part I finally began lose my social manners or not quite so much dwelling upon conventional etiquette.

I just began talk about it ... how it was ... kinda figuratively or metaphorically, and admittedly subjectively, tell it like it was ... but not just copping out as much ... afraid of the effeminacy aspect of it all. But, that was the role, my role that I fell into due to the circumstances and well, until now I guess, I just have not<b> owned </font></b>them and part of my "self". For example, being what and I am, ... yes, I do really enjoy porn ... frequently, and is usually associated or with tgirls/shemales/sissys, etc. And, at some point, especially with amateurs, when finally finding themselves naked and their backs under a man and penetrated ... they usually make noise ... not really loud or in exact cadence with the man's thrusts but also consistent yes but "softer" and natural seeming with what is happening her. And my point here is that I have been afraid admit or admit myself perhaps or at least ignore that I also have been sorta aware of making those little mewing cries and expanding upon that ... afraid admit or at least season these sorta reconstruction or reconstitution of my journal/diary entries and memories of my experiences, etc.

And upon reviewing part , I discovered that in places I began say, again see, like really was. at times flavored by my emotions at the time ... even conflicting and not explaining why, cuz, well wasn't really important if all made sense even then any extent beyond that was the way I felt at the time and probably I did not know exactly why either. I just began say things the way they were, like it was at the time.. "... excited with apprehensions, more concerned with the Professor watching us, me, then the relative stranger , but the Professor's employee, was going ... Jimmy, I admittedly, knowingly considered a real PIG and yet, I was going let him ... I despised him and wanted him ... mostly so the Professor could watch us ... .

You see, that's more what was, how was ... and some of the last posting, or part , I think was a "break through" for me. Yes, that is what was happening and how I felt about , then, and now. I have been afraid acknowledge the passion, my feelings, good and/or bad. I have pretty much omitted the really personal stuff ... the essence of ... and isn't that what I was supposed be discovering?? always admitting , and even myself, that I sometimes in the mud but never get dirty.

So, part , which I was going draft and possibly post this evening, now morning, is going be revised once again ... but this time, aware of my foolishness of being afraid commit ... I mean, I've been shaving my legs, enjoyed bubble baths, began dabbling in makeup, flirted with long lashes and almost too short short-shorts, and then no shorts for skinny dipping and then a few parties in Summer and no panties for my first boyfriend and his backseat, etc the next Winter, then, and also so very special, my next door neighbor, the Mother of the I babysat for, the woman that introduced me just a liittle bit to more of my "self" and our special relationship we called BFF and I called BFF at the time but what she knew as Girlfriend to Girlfriend magic etc. and all of this "education" and discovery while since in High School ... and that Girl to Girl magic that blossomed and reached fruition my Freshman year in college with Charlie ... why not commit more for a totally "me" ... a basic personal candor from my journals/diaries and very personal memories postings within my very personal blog ... so commit yourself Kaycee! ... surrender to yourself and for yourself ... or more toward my "self".
,,,xox Kaycee.

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