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What it's like to live in a sexless marriage
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What it's like to live in a sexless marriage It starts fine first. You've found special someone you share an intimate bond with. special someone where there is mutual love and attraction. It's great, you are happy with them and you want be with them. You know they are the , so you get married. The marriage is bliss at first. Eventually you have a . It's fine for a while, as new parents you are both tired so sex is put aside for a bit. So it's once a week or so. Then there are the excuses so you get intimate every other week, then once a month, every other month... eventually several months a whole year without any kind of intimacy. You almost begin beg and plead because it's been over a year. Then day you have talk where you hear this: "We don't need sex anymore, I'm just not interest in it. It's not important anyway"... Yes, happened. It dawns on you you are fucked for life (or rather the lack thereof). So eventually you don't ask for it anymore, you give up... and the years go by. Eventually you feel more like a roomate than a spouse. Your life feels unfulfilled and you begin resent your spouse and everything about them. You feel a lack of love, your just a provider of income for the household and nothing else matters. You miss what you had before. At some point you become depressed and it feels like you've recently broken up with someone. 's what it's like live in a sexless marriage. At least from my experience. Now, you do have a few options: Get a divorce. This would often have a huge financial impact if say you bring home 90 percent of the family income. You'd be free, but broke. You could give up and accept being miserable for the rest of your life. This is the outdated rule you are supposed follow because you are not supposed cheat no matter what the circumstances are. You are supposed die a born again virgin. You could find sex outside of the (so called) marriage. This is where a consenting partner fills void 's missing in your current life. Of course it's sometimes hard find non-overly judgemental partners are willing participate in sex with someone is attached or married. Hard but not impossible. Update: I wrote this not to get anyone's sympathy, but to explain why I'm stepping out of my marriage. Also, how can it be really cheating if I'm only married in the legal sense and not in the emotional or physical sense? To me cheating is if you are in a physical relationship already and I am by definition not part of one. I don't even get hugs and loving embraces anymore... there's nothing except a quick kiss goodbye usually just on the cheek. The passion, and the interest is all gone (especially from her). I really miss what have have been lacking for several years now. Another thing about having and marriage... it's life changing and I don't regret it. And I also encourage anyone to still get married if you really feel they are the one. Coming by the right person does not happen to everyone, and even though the chances of divorce are there don't throw away any chance of happiness. You will never know if you might have missed a chance of something good. |
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