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Very interesting post. Thanks.
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Wow.... That's some heavy stuff. Especially about your mother... Wow! 😶 Hey... good luck... and kick the ass off of today! 👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Eng, I understand what you are living. I am the major caregiver for two loved ones. Tow loves are dying and I am watching and giving help where needed. It is hard. You and your mother was like oil and water and made you rethink your life. I like you and your profile. Cute, very cute. I cannot wait to get to know you so much better as friend and then a good friend. I am a good listener and I care. Hold tight. Yopu have a friend watching you. Friend me. Hotlist me because I just tried to hookup with a sexy dream. Come find me baby.
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I understand what you are saying all to well. My Mom, whom I loved & stil do, R.I.P. Mom, drove my sister to 2 suicide attempts, and maybe more once she was out of our home. She caused her to run away 4 times before she was 17 yrs old, the furthest she got was almost 1000 miles away too, but my dad dragged her back. She causesd Sis to engage in promiscuous sexual activity starting at age 12 with music performers whom my sis performed with on TV. Actually pimped her out !! At age 18, my sis move out even before her high school graduation. over the next 35 years, they never did make peace. All wasnt Mom's fault tho, my Sis turned out to be bi-polar, as was her Dad we think (he wasnt MY dad), and her 2 sons also are bi-polar. of course, in 1967, bi-polar was not understood very well, and my folks would never have believed it if she had been diagnosed as a teen. She now at age 72 follows the same path your mom subscribed to, has given up meds, and hasnt seen a doc in years, her bi-polar moderated by her lack of interaction with others. My Mom, used her nursing knowledge of meds to manage her own suicide at an opportune moment (yes, had been planning it for years), so that no intervention by my Dad could happen, and so that only I (informed before the act) would ever suspect it WAS suicide. So now, Dad is gone too, leaving just ME, and I often wonder what is to become of me, having no kids myself, so am the end of my father's line.
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You are and have really struggled. You have also learned an impt message.....always stay monitored with a trusted professional and always stay on your meds while being monitored. My sense is that your sense of self has been seriously shattered and compromised. those years of your trauma is where we define whom we are, of course abandonment and trust are hallmarks of your development. Why wouldnt they be. If noone has answered your quests up until now...i suspect that they probably wont. All i can think of is to research newspapers for those dates....police reports...hospital reports....even insurance policies. With a bit of sleuthing, something might turn up. Sending Good Vibes your way ~~
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