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Not Your Fuzzy Bunny Blog
 
Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings? -- Diogenes
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Dio's Private Mailbox
Posted:Sep 23, 2018 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2020 9:45 am
15583 Views


This is a good place for comments, critiques of my blog, general observations or questions. Confidentiality is NOT guaranteed and subject to public shaming at my discretion.

Constructive critique is highly welcomed as I work to improve my writing.

If you have a question for Dio, this is a good place to privately ask and he can answer it anonymously in his column. Don't be shy.

You're welcome.

Dio

0 Comments , 3 Pending
Dio Respectfully Declines a Nomination ....
Posted:Jan 27, 2020 3:11 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2020 10:44 am
225 Views

It has come to my attention that there are blogger(s) that that have graciously offered to advertise less popular blogs in order to garner attention for those lesser known blogs, such as mine. Several of you have offered to nominate my blog, Not Your Fuzzy Bunny Blog, for this prestigious award.

Though I am genuinely honored, I regret that I must respectfully decline those nominations. I do this for painfully personal reasons. My blog has had numerous offers to be linked to more popular ones in the past, only for those offers to either never take place or in the cases they were linked, were later deleted. I was devastated at those times and do not wish to go through that pain and suffering again. Ever.

Besides, there is one other blog on here that is far more deserving. The title of that blog changes from day to day, but has been known to be My Fragile Ego, Hugs, Kisses & Farts or some other variation of those two listed.

I cannot seem to find the current flavor of the day for the blog title as the blog seems to have either completely disappeared or been deleted.

In that case, can nominations be posthumous?
8 Comments
You Can Catch More Flies With….?
Posted:Jan 26, 2020 12:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2020 8:29 am
285 Views


When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and a true maxim, that a “drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”

– ABRAHAM LINCOLN

I disagree…

Of the 100,000 species of flies, far more would prefer a steaming pile of shit over a drop of honey. So in terms of diversity of species of flies attracted, the shit wins. The same would hold for absolute numbers. Shit only lasts so long, and therefore natural selection has certainly favored flies that can find the shit first.

Given that an average fly is unlikely to make it into a honey bee hive and escape with any booty at all, (to say nothing for his life!) – I’d say that natural selection has NOT very likely programmed the fly’s instincts to seek out honey.

It is true that flies like sugar, and honey is sugary. Thus I would imagine that honey is decent fly-bait, but you will probably attract yellow jackets or wasps with the honey first, then you’ll probably get stung and your face will swell up.

But back to flies….

It is unclear whether equal amounts of honey and shit will attract equal amounts of flies. If anyone tries the experiment, I’d like to see the results posted on youtube or something. However, it is certain that a fistful of poo from virtually any mammal species will attract way more flies than a spoonful of honey — let alone a drop.

Similarly, I think that human behavior can be more effectively influenced with the employment of shit than with the strategic use of honey.

Ask a man to jump over a hurdle and offer him a spoonful of honey as a reward for doing so, and he will likely be uninterested. Up the ante to a bucket of honey, and he is likely to think you’re a frigging weirdo for walking around with a bucket of honey.

Tell a man to jump over the hurdle, or you will throw a big wet steaming wad of shit at him, and he will likely jump over the hurdle to avoid such unpleasantness – which may include not only being covered with shit, but then also being covered with flies until he can clean off the shit.

Even if he is much bigger than you, and knows that he can kick your ass for throwing shit at him, you still likely win. Aim for the eyes. If you hit him in the eyes with shit, you can temporarily blind him, hit him with a rock, and then run away. He will instinctually know this. If he doesn’t, you can tell him, and no matter how dumb he is, he will probably get it.

Lets say you miss his eyes, and just aim for center mass — right square in his chest. Even if you throw the shit on his shirt, most men would rather jump over a hurdle than have to wash shit off their shirt. Hell, he will have to choose between cleaning the shit off of himself right away, and chasing you down and kicking your ass. No matter what, he’s got shit all over himself because he didn’t listen to you and just jump over the damn hurdle.

I’d do almost anything to avoid being hit in the face with a pile of shit. Honey, eh, I can do without it. If you want to motivate a man, do so by showing him that by failing to do what you want, he’s gonna get shit on himself.

Abraham Lincoln was full of shit.

-- reposted from The Legal Satyricon
9 Comments
Dio's Guide to Self Reliance
Posted:Jan 22, 2020 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2020 5:26 pm
710 Views

My monitor took a shit.

So I bought a new one.

Just thought you should know in case anyone gave a rat's ass.
21 Comments
Dio Asks For Advice
Posted:Jan 14, 2020 4:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 12:52 pm
1424 Views

Anyone have a good recipe for boiled bunny?

Or is it Boo-iled bunny up north?

Asking for a bunny boiler I don't know, never met. Never will.

18 Comments
Dio Gets Religion
Posted:Jan 9, 2020 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2020 8:13 pm
1488 Views
She wanted know where I was and what I was doing last night ...




Here's the proof she's demanding!!

Irrefutable evidence!!

Hope I got the date right ....
11 Comments
Fuck Emily Post
Posted:Jan 6, 2020 7:11 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2020 2:35 pm
2004 Views

For the longest time I've wondered what to get an exclusive (ex-, current, future-ex) lover for a Christmas / birthday present and today I got some frugally fresh ideas.

Maybe I'll save enough money to get a Gold membership for myself.
21 Comments
Dio Does His Resolutions
Posted:Jan 1, 2020 11:52 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 2:38 pm
2040 Views

I always get confused with New Year's resolutions and April Fool's Day.

So I went back and re-read some of earlier posts to reflect on whether I needed to make any New Year's Fool's Day resolutions. This is what I came up with.

I need to write more positive uplifting posts. (Post memes, they always make a difference in people's lives).

I need to focus less on people's highly visible faults and more on their positive characteristics. (What if they don't have any?)

I need to be less sardonic. (More cynicism, please)

Just because mockery is my best method of character description doesn't mean I shouldn't do it all the time. (Always show your best side.)

I am too argumentative. (No, I'm not.)

I am not nearly as funny as I think I am. (I'll be the judge of that.)

Happy New Year's Fool's Day!!

You're welcome.

Love,
Dio
7 Comments
What the Fuck, Canada?
Posted:Dec 14, 2019 8:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2020 9:30 am
3664 Views

According to the New World Magnetic Model, earth's magnetic north is shifting at an unprecedented rate of 30 miles per year towards Siberia and away from Canada. What the fuck? They can't even hold on to magnetic north for more than a couple thousand years?

And now I see that Americans have the top four Active Blogs (unique responses) slots all locked up.

C'mon Canucks, you've got to step up your game.
32 Comments
Dio Turns a Leaf ...
Posted:Nov 30, 2019 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 7:49 am
3719 Views


We recently celebrated and are in the midst of continuing the celebration of Thanksgiving. A time we are supposed to be grateful for the things we have in our respective lives to be thankful for. In that spirit, I am writing a post that is more upbeat than most. Someone on the site will remind me, of this I am sure, that the title of my blog being “not so fuzzy”, this post is too touchy feely. Sorry to disappoint, I write what is on my mind.

This is an amazing site to blog on. There is a vast assortment of people on here that we have no idea who of they are, what they know or where they work.

There might be a rocket scientist that can blog about anything they want. Now they probably know that their specialized field of expertise isn’t particularly interesting to most of us. Information like that would go right over my head. I know that, so do they. It's supposed to. Instead, they could write a post we could all learn from. I don’t know, maybe the most energy efficient method of cleaning a toilet. A mundane topic to be sure, but it’s something we all have to do at least a couple of times a year. How to save time and energy articles are always interesting to me. When I'm not wasting time and take the time to read one.

That topic might be a tad tedious to someone that cleans toilets for a living because they're an expert commode cleaner. They already know the tricks of the trade. But therein lies the beauty of this site, a janitor can blog about something else they find stimulating. Maybe funny things that happened on their job. I don’t care who you are, everyone enjoys a little bathroom humor now and again.

Another benefit is that anyone can blog about anything even when they know nothing about what they’re blogging about. How many posts have you read written about how to have successful relationships and the writer admits earlier they’ve never had one? Or sexy subjects and confessing celibacy for decades a post or two back? There are hundreds of these intellectual posts on the site to peruse due to the diversity of the membership.

In fact, I’m wasting precious time writing this right now when I could be learning how to clean that toilet quickly and efficiently. Christmas is right around the corner. Seems like I just cleaned it on the Fourth. Time does fly.
7 Comments
Did I Miss Something?
Posted:Oct 21, 2019 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2020 11:29 am
5962 Views



Did the site send out secret decoder rings or something for some of these current posts? Us lowly standards didn't get one?

What the fuck?

I saw one that promised to cross eight literary genres. Something for everyone. So I clicked it. I didn't see eight fucking letters strung together that made any sense.

It's like reading a crossword puzzle. Or a Jumble without the clue.

Just block me already and take me out of my misery. Please.

I'm going crazy trying to solve it.

Fuck.

14 Comments
Dio's Disclaimer
Posted:Oct 20, 2019 6:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2020 3:13 pm
5055 Views


I have been professionally diagnosed with Binary Monogamous-itis.

I have been non-professionally diagnosed as cynical, sarcastic and satirical.

I have Delusions of Grandeur (Do.G) in that I think I write in a humorous manner.

Because of my Do.G, I cannot be held responsible for anything I write.

If anyone makes a comment that I and I alone find offensive, they shall be reported t.o the site administrators and potentially banned from this site.

If anyone makes a blog post and links my post to their post so that their 800+ watchers are exposed to my Do.G condition, I thank them and ask them to please continue.

When I tell you "this is my final piece", it is within my right to comment 906 more times at my discretion.

I reserve the right to have the final word, regardless of how many final words I may have.

My comments on other blogs are so quote-worthy that I have the right to quote myself over and over. And over again.

In light of my Do.G condition:
1) If anyone accuses me of harassment, I shall consider them harassing me
2) If anyone accuses me of bullying, I shall consider them bullying me.

As my profile states, I am 100 years old with advanced dementia (and ED). Any age shaming will be reported.

As my profile also states, I have several substance abus.e issues. Any post you find offensive was probably written while unde.r the influence of something, therefore I am not responsible.

In the event of opposing claims of harassment or bullying, our mental instabilities shall be compared as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition,DSM-5. May the most mentally ill person win.

BE WARNED.

8 Comments
Post Regret? Not So Fast ...
Posted:Oct 19, 2019 12:19 pm
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2019 10:51 am
3947 Views

I read a post the other day asking the question, have you ever made a blog post that you later regretted? Then later on, a different blogger had a post that he thought the site was circling the drain. One of the commenters on that post stated that she thought it was probably time go through her posts and save the ones that she thought were her best when the site finally does tank.

Damn, I thought, that's a good idea. I have post ideas all over my computer and I can't remember which ones I've posted and which ones are unpublished so far. This would be a good time go through the ones that I have posted and see if there is one that I regret that I wouldn't have to save.

And I found not one that I regretted posting. In fact, an off-site reader gave me the recommendation that the posts should be posted elsewhere. So I created a blog on another site. That site is huge, ten fold bigger than this one. Over thirty percent of all blogs on the internet are over there. It won't be easy garnering attention there, but the potential audience is huge.

But Dio, you ask, what about the terms of here, this site assumes all rights both written and visual material you post? Ha, I don't post pictures so no worries there. And the rights that they retain on my written word? As soon as they change, delete, edit one word of a post they keep the rights to that piece. The piece they edited. The site doesn't change or drop words? Bwahahaha. My new published piece will be intact as written and not liable for any litigation from this site because it is a different piece.

They're fucking themselves by their own TOU's and editing posts so for the time being, I can post here and over there.

So I've got some reading and uploading to do.

5 Comments

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