Bare It All
 
A group of musings, book reviews and polls. Maybe one day, pictures?
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Random Friday Thoughts
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2019 6:58 pm
187 Views

I can be funny. I know a joke...see!
"What's the tallest building in the world?"
"The Library, it has the most stories!"

I don't know who wrote that joke but I stole it from another website. I don't know who to give credit to...so I'll just say I googled librarian jokes and that was one I had heard before.

I heard about the city where I live in the movie "Easy A" today. That was strange.

I'm not a huge Emma Stone fan. Her acting...

Once I went to Dublin so that I could visit the Book of Kells. There was this incredibly long line through the middle of this amazing library. The books were blocked off but you could smell all that paper. That unique smell that only 1000 year old books have. It was like a glimpse of Heaven. The Book of Kells was kind of a disappointment but the library, OMG, fabulous. I dream about it sometimes.

I'm not a huge fan of traveling. I sat on the floor of the plane next to the bathroom on our way back from Dublin to Toronto. Some German tourist had pushed me off the sidewalk in Cork and my knee was swollen to like five times it's regular size. I got to chat with everyone that came back to go to the bathroom the entire flight. IT was nice.

McDonalds is much more impressive in other countries than it is here in the U.S..

You should see how bruised my right breast is. Wow. I look like I have a kaleidoscope under my skin. In general they are very, very sensitive.

What is it about the possession of penis which makes it necessary for lecturing? Seriously? I just got lectured about my aunt's phone from her stop-son. I've replaced the phone. I called the phone company. Dude, let it go.

Gearing up for the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one.

Peace out.
3 Comments
Overlistening
Posted:Feb 14, 2019 11:11 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2019 8:51 am
267 Views

There's an old saying, "eavesdroppers never head good of themselves." Well that's true.

I'm at work today, thinking I'm rocking the skirt I have on. I know it's Valentine's Day, I know I should be wearing red, or pink or some such. I know that a black long-sleeve tee shirt and a black skirt with tropical flowers on it isn't exactly holiday like. But I'm widow and I'm wearing black on the most romantic day of the year! I have red lipstick on. I'm wearing earrings with flowers on them. Anyhow...

I'm in my office. Two of my new co-workers are in the breakroom which is down the hall from my office. We are not allowed to close doors unless we are in a meeting so my door is right open. And I hear it. Him and her discussing me. I shouldn't be wearing

that skirt. Do I have to wear black all the time. I'm not a Goth, get over it already. Legs look fat. I look fat. Then they move in for the knock out and start discussing my personality. Oh well, you can't please everyone, right? But this is brutal, seriously brutal. I would never discuss a co-worker or anyone else that way.

Dudes, totally disheartening.

I feel the stress hormones kick in. I start to feel light-headed. Then I start to feel like I'm going to throw up. Then I throw up in my office trashcan. UNPLEASANT. Then i get to come home, because I might be sick, I might get everyone else sick, so I should go home.

So I'm home.

Disheartened, nauseatingly disappointed, sad.

I have the day off!!! The rest of it anyway! Woo hoo! I only had to throw up to get it...and hear bad stuff about myself.

How's your Valentine's Day going?
13 Comments
There was BDSM before 50 Shades of Grey
Posted:Feb 13, 2019 6:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2019 10:43 am
304 Views

So, this evening after work I met a Dom in a hotel room and embarked on a "relationship" that will help me with my need to feel pain. I've been describing this need for pain this way: there is so much pain inside, emotionally that I was unconsciously hurting myself so that there was somewhat of a balance between what I felt inside and what I felt outside.

Do you know what I mean? I've broken bones in my foot, ripped the meniscus in my knee, almost drowned, had two concussions, bruised ribs, dislocated my shoulder, sprained my other knee and an ankle, starved myself for five days and had anxiety attacks which led to a hospitalization. These things helped a little bit. It relieved the pain "pressure" that had built up inside until it was unbearable. It also led to me going to see a grief counselor, join a grief group and get back into church.

However, I find that the pain is still there. It's still building. Slowly, surely, brick by brick until I can't take it anymore. So I sought a dominant partner on a different web site and discussed how BDSM can alleviate some of the pain and guilt I feel. We had a conversation that lasted over 1-1/2 hours about limits and wants and needs and desires and then we played. Just a little.

My breasts are bruised. They don't hurt, just ache. I'm ambivalent about how it went.

Historically, I've been involved with BDSM before. I read some Anne Rice vampire books in the early 90's, then her Sleeping Beauty series which led to some pretty cool BDSM reads and finally to the Story of O. O changed my life. Changed it so much I wrote my Master's thesis on sadomasochistic power exchange in Faulkner's southern literature. I visited play parties and had some power exchanges, tried out being a Domme, did phone domination (I have an AMAZEBALLS voice BTW) and even flirted with a long term relationship with a Dom.

Again, I'm ambivalent about how it went.

One thing I did discover. I have difficulty crossing the Rubicon when the person I'm with is married. He is married, openly admitted he cheats and that he has no problem with having sex with women other than his wife. I'm still freaked about that.

Did you know that there was BDSM before 50 Shades? Have you heard of "The Story of O" or the Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice.
14 Comments
Top Five Sexual Positions
Posted:Feb 12, 2019 5:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2019 6:04 pm
444 Views

So I read a book recently where the two main characters rated their favorite positions. So I thought...what are mine?

1. Doggy
2. Speed Bump
3. Reverse cowgirl
4. Spooning
5. Missionary

1. Doggy can be done anywhere. A great position for depth of penetration. It's purported to be the favorite sex position in the U.S. and the U.K. IT's great for guys with a smaller penis because there's always that depth.
2. Speed bump is basically doggy with the submissive partner on their stomach. Can't go wrong. It's like being able to choose doggy twice!!!
3. Ride 'em cowboy!
4. Spooning...there seems to be a theme here. Plus, sideways sex is awesome.
5. Missionary, just close your eyes and think of England. Sticking to the basics from time to time. Being able to feel his weight on me. Yum.

So, thematically facing away from my partner is my current jam. I'm not saying I'll close my eyes and think of the husband but there might be an aspect of that. Hmmm.

I think there's also plenty of opportunity on my list for clit stimulation with a vibrator at the same time. It's a win win.
18 Comments
When I'm Tired...
Posted:Feb 11, 2019 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2019 4:38 pm
595 Views

When I'm tired and I've had a bad day, I have a feeling I'm a horrible fuck. Like lay there like a dying fish occasionally flopping around but mostly laying there gasping and expecting someone else to do all the work. I had such a bad day today at work...

Somehow I was late. I forgot to take my medicine. I had no makeup on. My dress was too short. I spent the morning cleaning up from my Saturday program - bad BINGO experience. Then I was rushing around trying to get ready for toddler story time. Ugh. Toddler story time was a nightmare. Story time starts at 10. First mom to show up is there at 9:15 asking when I"m going to start. I'm like "10:00 am" and she's kind of sour about it. I know she wanted me to start early but dudes, no. So I put on a CD and went about setting up the craft and getting everything else ready. Second mom showed up at 10:10. 10 month old. Not interested in me at all. AT ALL. Third mom showed up at 10:30. I'm like, seriously? Meanwhile I have a room full of adults with disabilities trying to enjoy story time too. Yeah, that was a bust for them. I didn't make it through ONE complete story or song. The craft was making a cow out of a styrofoam bowl, paper legs, googly eyes and a black circle. But I only have washable markers. I used a permanent marker for my example. No bleeding, perfectly beautiful bowl cow. Washable markers bleed and seep all over everything, clothes, hands, tables...you name it, there was marker on it. LOL. Eventually I just gave up. I got a warning that the adults were looking at my ass when I was bending over to help the little ones with the craft...skirt too short.

I had like 15 personal summers at work today. It was like 80 degrees out and like 80 degrees inside. Man, I was hot. And not in a good way. Like sweating like I was running a marathon wet. Ugh.

I threw out all these incomplete games and puzzles. Director preferred I take them out to the garbage myself. When I asked where it was she said out back. So I load all the garbage into a big bag, go outside, head around the building and guess what? No garbage out back. Meanwhile I'm freaking out and trying to walk softly and not disturb the water moccasins that are purportedly out back. Finally, I've going completely around the entire building and I see them on the side where the staff parking is. Like fifteen feet from my car. FIFTEEN feet. Yeah, I've just waded through a jungle, over sand and snakes and goodness knows what else and there it is right near my car. LOL.

My volunteer who does all the decorating in the children's area quit today. No reason, just she's done. Balls.

Then I get in my car, go to Wal-Mart for a meet and greet...nope, he's not there. I'm hanging around for like 45 minutes and nope. But someone else asks if I'm up for a good time. But I'm whining internally and I'm not going to be a good lay after my day. So I had to say no. I'm sure he's going to be happy I put him off.

Now I'm laying in bed, half-naked, covered in soap (cramps in my legs, Irish Spring helps), I've been medicated, whined to you all...thank you. I think I'm going to reread a favorite book and go to bed early. Thanks for the eyes...since I'm not actually saying anything outside and so can't thank you for the ears.

B
10 Comments
Faking Orgasm
Posted:Feb 10, 2019 2:50 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2019 1:07 pm
634 Views

A leading relationship expert says, "Women worry they take too long to climax, and that's where the care-taking instinct kicks in. Once her partner reaches orgasm, women typically give up on their own pleasure." www.mindbodygree.com

Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Yes, I do it all the time. I can only orgasm during masturbation.
Yes, I've faked it before once or twice.
Yes, I've faked it once.
Nope, I'm excellent at cumming...no need to fake.
No, absolutely not, HOW DARE YOU?
Maybe, but I wouldn't admit it out loud.
8 Comments , 20 votes
Turn ons
Posted:Feb 9, 2019 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2019 6:07 pm
762 Views

There's this lean that some men do. A way to enter the space of a woman that they are attracted to without being aggressive. It's like he's putting himself in her space and letting her get used to the feel of him near her before reaching out physically or just touching her. It's that last small inch of space between attracted people that buzzes with electricity and presence.

My neck is extremely sensitive. I love feeling fingertips, lips, a tongue, run its way up my neck towards my ear. Even writing about it makes me imagine what it feels like in person. How it seems like every nerve on my body wakes up, makes me squirm in my seat, makes me wet.

There's this stretch, this slight pull, this dilation that occurs when you are being penetrated. It's like I can feel each tissue drag along the cock that's entering me, a tug, a glide, this opening of myself. There's a vulnerability that's disarming. Someone is inside me, sharing not just my air but my body.

There's something about the scent of fresh cum. When you rub it over your face, or your chest or anywhere on your skin. It warms there. It's soft and slick and silky. Later you can get bursts of that scent as you move, as your clothing shifts on your body.

The left one is more sensitive than the right. I'm not sure why. It's like the nerves are more awake, like you can screw in a 120 watt light bulb in the left one but only a 60 watt one in the right. The left beads and gets hard more quickly. Every pinch, every pull, every nip seems connected directly to my clit. It's like a doorbell where you ring it out front and the bells go off inside.

Sometimes there's this elusive scent...it's a mixture of Wintergreen fine cut Skoal, deoderant, laundry detergent and fabric softener sheet, it's the scent of the skin on the jaw. Of Wrangler jeans and the leather of the boots. It's the felt of a cowboy hat and the remains of the aftershave put on in the morning that lingers after a day of work outside.

Feeling a skirt or dress slide over the tops of my thighs. The stretch of muscles in my legs when I wear high heels, the way my skin glides against itself when I walk. The occasional brush of one leg sliding against another. How smooth my skin is after a shower. How white my skin is and how my freckles especially on my shoulders look like cinnamon sugar.
7 Comments
Turn ons
Posted:Feb 9, 2019 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2019 7:18 am
608 Views

There's this lean that some men do. A way to enter the space of a woman that they are attracted to without being aggressive. It's like he's putting himself in her space and letting her get used to the feel of him near her before reaching out physically or just touching her. It's that last small inch of space between attracted people that buzzes with electricity and presence.

My neck is extremely sensitive. I love feeling fingertips, lips, a tongue, run its way up my neck towards my ear. Even writing about it makes me imagine what it feels like in person. How it seems like every nerve on my body wakes up, makes me squirm in my seat, makes me wet.

There's this stretch, this slight pull, this dilation that occurs when you are being penetrated. It's like I can feel each tissue drag along the cock that's entering me, a tug, a glide, this opening of myself. There's a vulnerability that's disarming. Someone is inside me, sharing not just my air but my body.

There's something about the scent of fresh cum. When you rub it over your face, or your chest or anywhere on your skin. It warms there. It's soft and slick and silky. Later you can get bursts of that scent as you move, as your clothing shifts on your body.

The left one is more sensitive than the right. I'm not sure why. It's like the nerves are more awake, like you can screw in a 120 watt light bulb in the left one but only a 60 watt one in the right. The left beads and gets hard more quickly. Every pinch, every pull, every nip seems connected directly to my clit. It's like a doorbell where you ring it out front and the bells go off inside.

Sometimes there's this elusive scent...it's a mixture of Wintergreen fine cut Skoal, deoderant, laundry detergent and fabric softener sheet, it's the scent of the skin on the jaw. Of Wrangler jeans and the leather of the boots. It's the felt of a cowboy hat and the remains of the aftershave put on in the morning that lingers after a day of work outside.

Feeling a skirt or dress slide over the tops of my thighs. The stretch of muscles in my legs when I wear high heels, the way my skin glides against itself when I walk. The occasional brush of one leg sliding against another. How smooth my skin is after a shower. How white my skin is and how my freckles especially on my shoulders look like cinnamon sugar.
0 Comments
Sex is like rereading...
Posted:Feb 9, 2019 8:23 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2019 7:18 am
625 Views

Today at the library I heard one library patron deriding another for rereading favorite books. The first was exclaiming with delight over how much she liked the story even though she'd read it before. The second asked something along the lines of "but you already know what's going to happen, why not just read another book?"

It occurred to me later that sex is like rereading a good book. You already know what's going to happen. You know the ending (hopefully it's that you cum.) There are limited ways of getting you there...to the climax. LOL. However, get there you will. If you are with the same partner or rereading the same book its just the same.

I used to sometimes tease the husband that while I was a bluegrass widow because he was a bluegrass musician and he spent a lot of time with his band, or playing his banjo and guitar, that he was a book widower. I usually had my nose buried in a book. However, we both very much enjoyed getting to the climax.
2 Comments
Compliments...I am Batman.
Posted:Feb 8, 2019 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2019 8:16 pm
799 Views

So, I've had the singular experience of being told by a large of 2nd graders that pretty. I got a plethora of compliments including you're pretty like:

1. I really, really, really, really, really LIKE your dress.
2. Wow, your shoes are really . Do they hurt? I like them, can I try them on?
3. That black dress makes you look like Batman. He's my favorite superhero.
4. Your hair is really silver. Like nana. But prettier.
5. I like your makeup. My mom wears too much, but you only have it on your face.
6. How come your voice is so nice?

Many, nods of agreement with every compliment.

Wow.

To think, I didn't want to go and do the school visit.

B
8 Comments
Sexual double standard?
Posted:Feb 6, 2019 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2019 3:33 pm
971 Views

I'm conflicted. I've recently been told some things by various people on this site that have me angry, concerned and slightly skeeved out.

As I mentioned, probably too many times to count, I had an active sex life with my husband. Sexual contact daily. Blow jobs once a day and sex almost every day as well. I don't think more than three days went by our entire marriage before we had sex.

I'm highly sexual. I have a large appetite for sex that was nurtured in me for my entire adult life. I like it. I like the way it feels, smells, sounds, pretty much everything about it.

I've heard a riff on a few sour notes recently...it's freaking me out.

1. I want to be at the front of the line...
2. You do want a FWB situation right, not just a one night stand?
3. Can't you just come to my hotel in Jax/Orlando/wherever and fuck then leave?

It's 2019. I think I should be able to have sex with as many people as I want as long as I am safe. Don't you?
I think if I want to take on an entire Army regiment I can as long as everything we do is consensual and safe. Don't you?
I don't think it makes me a whore or slut that I like cock often and want it often. Do you?
Is it a bad thing to search for what I want instead of leading some poor schmuck on and saying that I want something I don't? Is it?

I want sexual partners that can come to my town, get a hotel room, meet me for sex or dinner or conversation. I want to bone and then come home and take care of the dotty aunt. I want to leave work and have someone to take my stress out on by fucking his brains out. And I want this to happen on the regular. I think I used the Taco Tuesday analogy in an earlier blog post and that applies here.

Shouldn't I be able to ask for what I want sexually and not be looked down on? OR treated like dirt? Or have people assume I'm like a whore only you don't have to pay me for the blow job? Or fuck?

So...angry. I just want some sex on the regular. With someone who I like, am attracted to and who does it well.
Concerned...isn't this what TSDates is about? I don't want to have another husband. I'm not over the one I had. I still sit in my car and cry or wish he was with me every day. This is not an attempt to get sympathy. I just can't do much more than physical right now.
Skeeved...what the "f" dudes/@?@?@ No I am not going to come to your hotel room with 1 hour's notice and fuck you then leave like I'm a 'ho! IF we set up a date, I'll expect some conversation unless you and I specifically discussed it ahead of time. i will not bend over the back of my truck for you on a dark road because we have discussed our fantasies on the IM service here. Not unless you and I agree that that is what we both want and set it up. (this is fun to talk about but not gong to happen.)

I feel a little like I should be charging the way some guys on here talk to me. But that's not what this is. For me or anyone on this site. This is supposed to be a safe space to meet people who feel the same way you do about sex and to have it be an introduction avenue not a pay for play site.

Dudes, what is up?
20 Comments
The line between openness and sexual harassment
Posted:Feb 6, 2019 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2019 2:51 pm
955 Views

So, some of my co-workers know I went on a "date" the other night. They've asked me how it went, how dinner was, if I had fun, etc.. I had a great time being cute and talking about how much fun I had and that I didn't make it to the restaurant. LOL.

Then it occurred to me that sharing my life outside of work while I was in work could be construed as sexual harassment. That was a shocking thought. Scary really. I want to become friends with these people. I like them. I'd like to have relationships with them outside of our work. But I think with the way things are going, I need to be really, really careful about what I share with my co-workers.

Don't you?
19 Comments
Blow Jobs & Medicine
Posted:Feb 5, 2019 6:14 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2019 6:10 pm
1036 Views

I have indicated on previous iterations of my account that I gave my hubby a b.j. every day. Thousands and thousands of b.j.'s over 30 years together. I think that man was one of the smartest ones on earth. He had heard the phrase "start as you mean to go on" and let me know exactly how important sexual intimacy was in our marriage and how much he really needed me to be with him every day.

Every morning for the last two years of our marriage my husband got up an hour before the alarm was going to go off, fetched 16 oz of water and my medicine. He would stand by the side of the bed, wake me up, hand me the pill and water, then let me go back to sleep until it was time to get up.

So, he got a b.j. and I got medicine.

One Tuesday morning was the last time this happened. By that night he was in the first of what would be three hospitals. Wednesday morning I was putting him on a helicopter across the state to go to a university hospital. The next night/morning he died.

I haven't taken my medicine since.

Today at work I was asked to fill out this medical questionaire. The University of Florida was doing some kind of survey and they needed the staff who agreed to participate. At the end of the questionaire, they took my blood pressure. It was 148 over 100. The young woman was very concerned. She wanted me to go to the hospital. Needless to say, I didn't go.

But, tonight I took the medicine.

I didn't want to. I'd like to crawl into the grave with the husband. But he's not actually in a grave. He's in a box next to my bed. When I die hopefully the responsible son will make sure that I get added to his box. I'm looking forward to it.

I miss blow jobs. The way he felt in my mouth. What he tasted like. What he smelled like. The sounds he made. I miss waking up every morning to him standing by our bed with water in one hand and my medicine in the other.
15 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Overlistening (13)NJGUY08090
Feb 15, 2019 10:48 pm
Random Friday Thoughts (5)Paulxx001
Feb 15, 2019 6:07 pm
Blow Jobs & Medicine (15)RaceCarFan63
Feb 15, 2019 6:04 pm
Age Question (12)Nsafun89423
Feb 15, 2019 5:31 pm
Masturbation Poll (57)pinkalts
Feb 14, 2019 11:19 pm
There was BDSM before 50 Shades of Grey (15)XHamburgDave
Feb 14, 2019 3:56 am
Faking Orgasm (10)smartasswoman
Feb 14, 2019 3:07 am
Top Five Sexual Positions (20)lookink4realppl
Feb 13, 2019 6:19 pm
Yes or no (29)stevefun2bwith
Feb 12, 2019 5:29 pm
Sexual double standard? (21)lookink4realppl
Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm
Sex is like rereading... (2)lookink4realppl
Feb 12, 2019 3:23 pm