I wish I’d said something  

Dominanteyes 39M  
95 posts
2/11/2019 2:39 pm
I wish I’d said something


I had an awful experience today that I’d like to share with you. Hopefully it will inspire you because it’s definitely made me think.

I was sat in Starbucks (other coffee shops are available) and I like to people watch.

A lady probably in her early 40’s caught my eye. She sat alone sipping her coffee. She looked Indian with caramel coloured skin and long dark silky hair.

She had earphones in and as I watched her I could see that she was upset. She wiped her eyes a couple of time with a tissue and my heart almost broke.

I hate to see people upset. I wanted to go over to her and give her a big hug. I sat for a few minutes watching her and she was definitely upset.

I debated about approaching her and ask my if she was ok but my head told me it would look odd or I’d come across as a creep.

A few more minutes went by and I caught her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and she flushed and looked away.

A couple more minutes went by. This time our eyes met and I smiled at her and she smiled back sweetly, but I could see a deep sadness behind her smile.

She finished her coffee and collected her things then walked out. I wish I had said something to her.

5 minutes later I got up and left and went to the bus stop. There were many people waiting for the bus. Then I saw her. The same lady was standing at the stop and still looked upset.

The bus arrived and I sat opposite her on the isle. She was visibly crying and I wanted to say something but again felt it would be weird and didn’t want to frighten her.

I decided that I needed to reach out to her in as subtle a way as I could to not draw attention to her crying. I found a pen and piece of paper in my bag and decided to write a note with my name and number. I was going to pass it to her and say if she Needed to talk to someone.

Before I could finish writing my number the bus stopped and she got up from her seat and walked off the bus. I felt so bad.

She Needed someone. Maybe not me but I should have said something sooner.

It’s sad that I second guessed myself. I should have been brave.

I have decided in the future to fuck social norms and if that happens again I’m going to risk ridicule and see if the person is ok.

This will stay with me for a few days.

Thank for reading x

Dominanteyes 39M  
81 posts
2/11/2019 2:40 pm

I really hope she’s ok


bitchkitty2017 66F  
2584 posts
2/11/2019 2:57 pm

That is a very good read and there was a couple times I could have used someone to talk to..I talk to a lot of people who have problems that truly upset them and its very comforting for me to know I helped them but I have no one to sit and talk to when I have anything bothering me ..I have to work it out for myself..so next time someone looks like they can use a word or use comfort don't hesitate to reach out...


Dominanteyes replies on 2/11/2019 3:09 pm:
I won’t hesitate again

BiggLala 46F  
25426 posts
2/11/2019 3:17 pm

I have decided in the future to fuck social norms and if that happens again I’m going to risk ridicule and see if the person is ok.
-I think it good you felt led to console the woman. I'll just add that, if you're genuinely intent on seeing "...if the person is ok," then do that for any *person*. Not just females, or the females you consider attractive. Do it for a person, including men, old, young, unattractive, etc. I only say this because you purposely described her physical appearance, which doesn't (shouldn't) have anything to do with her being in need.

Do good and be good to *people*.

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Dominanteyes replies on 2/11/2019 3:25 pm:
I don’t know how to respond to that

CanNotBearIt 48F  
64 posts
2/11/2019 4:17 pm

I've been very successful with saying things like "Hey, everything OK?" after eye contact. However, I'm a woman and it's more socially acceptable for a woman to ask so I understand your hesitance. Next time though, go for it. That's my advice.


Dominanteyes replies on 2/11/2019 10:11 pm:
Thank you for the advice. I Appreciate it

papis_baby_girl 42F  
4894 posts
2/11/2019 4:22 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    I have decided in the future to fuck social norms and if that happens again I’m going to risk ridicule and see if the person is ok.
    -I think it good you felt led to console the woman. I'll just add that, if you're genuinely intent on seeing "...if the person is ok," then do that for any *person*. Not just females, or the females you consider attractive. Do it for a person, including men, old, young, unattractive, etc. I only say this because you purposely described her physical appearance, which doesn't (shouldn't) have anything to do with her being in need.

    Do good and be good to *people*.
makes you wonder if she was 60+, fat and not traditionally pretty if the desire to console would be the same...

maybe or maybe not...guess we'll never know.

me personally, if a man is inclined that way, I'm always on the 'ulterior motive' tip especially if she's attractive.

jaded...sure... but guess what... that's what's been shown to me so that's what I draw. from.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


tamedbu 55F
6 posts
2/11/2019 4:29 pm

Dominant, I'm so sorry you didn't have the courage to approach her because of social norms - as you said, "Fuck social norms." However, the fact that you locked eyes tells me she knew you were concerned and she'll remember your smile. I know I would.


Dominanteyes replies on 2/11/2019 10:12 pm:
Thank you

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