Sensual Dreamscape
My thoughts, dreams, stories and just general day to day .
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In A Perfect World
Posted:Sep 24, 2021 3:26 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2021 9:42 am
Closing my eyes, I picture this perfect world. Or at least my perfect world, where everyone cares about each other. There are never quarrels, and everyone's feeling happy. There would be random dancing in the streets and lovers would walk hand in hand. Embracing so tightly there is no space leave, their bodies curving into each other.

Right now I feel a overwhelming urge to create. With plaster and canvas, mixing the two mediums. Letting my energy go into each piece, not really caring if anyone else finds my work pleasing. I feel the need to leave pieces of my in each piece. I want decades later after I am no longer in this vessel that people will still be able to reflect and know that I did exist. If for nothing more then to make you stop and appreciate the day for its beauty.

I want to reach out and let each one of you know that take the time to read my blogs how much I appreciate it. It is often my way of connecting, a safe way for me anyway. Here I can express the sexual side of me and the rather raw side when it is safe to do so. The friendships I have formed just through these blogs is precious.

Well seize the day please,

Creeky Thanks
Posted:Sep 23, 2021 11:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2021 2:47 pm

Well hello there,

First I want to thank my friends who contacted me through here, email, and text. Meant to much and I was moved. When I left the very long Hema-oncology Clinic today, my phone had many of you all asking how I was and what did they find out, etc. Pretty incredible and again I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We all wish our bodies were like they were when we were in our 20's. That things didn't ache, creak, and pop. That we could jump out of bed and not have to worry about if we took meds, etc.
By this time, we have come to realize that this is what it is. Either learn to accept yourself and others, or become bitter old people/ Always room for improvement of course, but that goes without saying.

And sexually, oh yes there is that. I think by now we have all come to realized that basically we are drying up. And not in the way we want. Perhaps our orgasmic load is not what it used to be. I used to squirt, not sure I can anymore. I used to get so wet, that I would be embarrassed. Now lube is my new best friend. It takes longer for me to have a true orgasm. The smaller ones, no they come pretty fast and easy.

Hair might be thinning, or moving to other places. Seems most everything is sliding south. WE bury and say goodbye to dear family and friends too.

But there is still something so beautiful about each day. EAch kiss, being held, and yes even being made love too. That is one of my biggest wishes, to truly be made love too, slow tenderness. That would be such a wonderful thing to me.

What made you appreciate today?

Horizontal Dance of Chance
Posted:Sep 23, 2021 1:14 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:46 pm
We both do this delicious dance of teasing each other.
Telling what we would like to do to each other.
Oh if these hands could reach through the screen
And stroke your ...... and then I would.........

Do we dare, entice each other
Night after night, staying up for hours
licking my lips, wanting to savor you
Again and again like a perfectly ripe pear.

Let thy juices escape my mouth
Running from the moistened corners,
Dribbling down my chin,
All you see is my smile and twinkle in my eyes.

We have promised each other nothing
other then honesty, and friendship
Being Lovers when we see each other,
Celebrating the delight of entanglement.
No Care , No Need,
Posted:Sep 22, 2021 2:45 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:49 pm

So I have encountered a individual who basically demands that you send them pictures. When you say no, then it is met with issues.

Don't even get me started with being truthful about some medical issues I am going through. That is met with running hot and cold, well forgive me for needing to be concerned with many tests and doctor visits. Nothing that was my doing. So basically being view as a piece of ass, and if you do not comply you are of no use.

Forget being friends, caring about a friend, the way I would be concerned about any firend and their well being. I am a person, who yes happens to be going through alot of medical challenges. But I am very real, nothing phony about me at all.

Their loss, I do not put up with being treated this way ever.

A Few Thoughts From Me
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:50 pm
Sitting here tonight, so many things come to my mind.

Was a overall good day, weather was beautiful. It rained and then the frogs were all in chorus, singing about the rain and bugs most likely.

One of the things I wanted to write about it how wonderful it felt to be held. Cradled, feeling his fingers lightly stroking my skin. The way he would cup my face, look into my eyes and kiss me. Those kisses were so magical, plentiful, delightful. Holding hands , fingers entwined.

But being held, listened too, and listening to him. Sharing stories about our life, and embracing the friendship. To feel so desired, and cherished by a man who really cares for my overall well being. Not just a object, but a full woman. Accepted just as I am.

Really meant so much to me, that time taken to reach out and be a true friend. Yes we enjoyed each other benefits fully, time and time again. But it was even more then that. Watching him sleep, being spooned, being woken up because he wanted to have one last time before we both had to leave.
No false promises made, or unrealistic expectations assumed. Knowing that we are dear friends who will enjoy each other when we are able.
It Needed to Be Said
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:51 pm

I try very hard to not bring attention to myself out in public, or have to address someone. But today, I did in fact do that without thinking.

I was signing into a medical office to have another blood draw done. Next to me was this very vocal man, throwing a like fit about having to sign in by computer. Now the system for the office has recently changed, but that is the nature of business. But he was being verbally aggressive to the poor nurse for no reason. So I am still just doing my sign in until..........

Until he informed her that he was speaking up for all of us here in this very packed waiting room. I turn and told him that I have no issue with the new system. He tells me that I then am in the minority. I told him that he did not have to take it out on the nurse. He told me that he wasn't, and about how valuable his time is, etc. I just looked him dead in the eyes and informed him that he was a asshole.

Omg, I never have told anyone that in all my life in public. All of the sudden about 5 or 6 people started applauding. The nurse winked at me and mouthed Thank you. Once this man got done signing in he walks over to me and says "Yes I am still complaining." I told him to have a nice day.

Did feel kind of good. Tired of people thinking they can act anyway they wish to other people without a care. What kind of society have we become? I did apologize to the nurse for my language. She laughed and told me she wanted to say much worse.

Seriously none of us want to be waiting for daily blood labs to be drawn. Tired, and not feeling the best, many of these people were much older than me, struggling to even get there. Be nice, and ......

Have a Nice Day

Human Ebb and Flow
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 1:16 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:51 pm

Well Greeting Earthlings,

No seriously, hello to all of you, especially my friends. You help get me through the rougher days, and celebrate with me on the good days.

We all have ebb and flow with life, events, people come in and out of our lives. It is very easy to point the finger at others, instead of realizing how many fingers are pointing right back at you. None of us are without fault. We all make choices that maybe in hindsight we wished we hadn't. But then let us take a step away and exam with the other person may have been going through too. Perhaps they had something going on in their personal life too that was requiring even a ear to listen to them vent.

I am going through a number of different things right now. None of which I care to really reflect upon here in the blogs. It will all eventually be fine, it always is.

Please cut everyone some slack and yourself too.

Being Authentic ~ By A Old, Fat, Saggy Woman
Posted:Sep 20, 2021 4:12 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:51 pm

As you age you quickly come to realize that you are who you are. Whether people like who you are, is on them. I am not here to please the masses, I am just here to enjoy life on my terms. It is very easy for someone that has never walked in my shoes to be critical, and vice versa. I am not in your shoes, I have no idea what your life work or home really is like. You are not me, you have no idea what I am facing, going through, been through, and driven through (insert humor here).

I am fairly confident, very honest. At times I am emotional, like most of us females. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, though now I have it covered with a heavy down blanket. I am very creative. A enthusiastic lover, and I will keep you wanting more. I am told that I am very skilled and good on many levels.

I also love my family, even as messed up as the dynamics can be. I love my friends, and they are what keep my spirits boosted at times, and I do the same for them. I am a loyal mother fucker, pardon the language but if you really know me, you know I tend to have a colorful language at times but never around .

All In all I am a old, fat, saggy, woman who wants to be desired, cherished, and a dear friend. I know I am all that to certain friend/s. Who can really ask for more, other then better health, and money enough to pay for your needs.

Life is never easy, but well worth it. Know your worth.

Hurry Scurry
Posted:Sep 19, 2021 12:34 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:52 pm

Hurry scurry everywhere,
Where you are going nobody cares.
Is this really life you wanted,
or do you ever even dare.

Saturdays traffic is alway sinsane it seems. People driving aggressively, like they are the only ones out on the road. But why take chances when it is not necessary. Risking human life is not a good idea.

Is this really the way you wanted to live your life? Scurrying from here to there, just like hyper mice. Nudging everyone out of the way, striking and yelling like you just dont care.

Take time to stop smell the roses

FWB are the Quality of Life.
Posted:Sep 18, 2021 12:26 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:53 pm

Life is funny to me, in so many ways. If you are alone, everyone in the world is busy. If you are busy, everyone in the world would like to talk to you or spend time with you.

There never seems to be a even mix, does there. ? Not Complaining mind you. I find myself in a very unique and fun place right now. Feeling wanted, desired, and even cherished by wonderful FWB. That is all one can really ask for, especially in my current circumstance. Special time spent with a good friend, and reprieve from the stresses of everyday life as it will.

For me it is quality over quantity always. I would rather spend special times with a person who does care about me, and considers me a dear friend, then a troop of men just wanting to cum in any flea bag bottom feeder hole. Mmmmm that is a lovely description no wisnt it. But truly, the time you spend forming friendship that will last for years and years and get you through those rough patches. Celebrate with you when you soar high above the clouds in any of life's achievements.

To me that is what life right now is all about. In the far future of more develops with someone, then it was meant to be. If not, I will keep cherishing my FWBs.
Posted:Sep 17, 2021 12:11 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2021 4:04 pm

I am tougher than most think
Raised tried and true
To stand up for myself
Or take the path of so many

Don't' mistake my demeanor
For being vulnerable or naive.
Im no ones fool for very long,
Bouncing back stronger then ever.

Sway with me this way,
Dance with me this night,
Show me that you care,
If you dare to be true to yourself.
My Turn To Be In Charge Part 1
Posted:Sep 16, 2021 11:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 7:11 am
This time of night obviously is usually reserved for me. I am feeling rather sexy, listening to music that inspire such. Thinking About what might go down.

This is just a fantasy, part fiction, part reality. You decide whatever fits your mindset.

All day I have been thinking about just what i would like to do to you. Tired of you teasing me with innuendos, suggestions, even demands. Oh little do you know my pet what I have in store for you once you arrive.

I hear the front door open, and I see you standing there with flowers and wine. You walk across the front room and stop in your tracks. I stand and slowly turn around, lett you take in all my curves. My outfit leaves little to the imagination and I am goas I turn the thrmostat up a few more degree. Black leather bustier, with matching thing high stiletto boots, and fish net stockings, complete with matching ass slapper in hand.

I smakc the ass slapper into my hands and tell you to sit down. You do so and I straddle you. "Tonight I am the one in charge, and you will be the one obeying. Understand>" You nod, and I trace the outline of your lips ever so slowly, letting you quiver your lower lip ever so slightly. I tell you to stand and give me a proper hello now. You rise and I not that you are much taller then me, though the stilettos help mauch up the distance.

To be continues

Sometimes You Just Need to Cry
Posted:Sep 16, 2021 9:33 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2021 4:09 pm

Before I set to begin a new story, I wanted to digress some about my day. Everyone can ask you all day long how you are doing, and you will get a "I'm good" generally from me. But I will admit some days are harder then others.

See I have been trying to be kinder to my arms and shoulders. They are really so painful especially my right dominate one. Not only does it click when I move it and raidiate pain, it also charlie horses down the entire arm even to the finger tips. Some morning I wake up with my entire arm including fingers numb. So it has to involve the nerves.

So I only got to finish one piece of lingerie but I suspect that will be good enough. I had to ask my estranged husband to move some boxes and totes for me, so I could find the rest of my mending and material. Watching this once very strong man now struggle so much, is very hard. Heart breaking really, because no matter what we will always remain close friends. I hate to see him hurting so much, and unable to stand with assistance. It is devastating to see what has happened to him in such a short time. Despite our problems, I have no hate or ill will towards him. But we both know that I deserve to be really loved, cherished, respected and even desired by a man someday. BEcause of certain things that happened to him way before we ever met, it caused him to shut himself off from me in all those regards long ago.

So I broke down and cried today. Openly sobbed, because it isn't fair that someone should become so crippled to fast in life. Yes I know life isn't fair but with no relief from anyone, nor even anyone to talk to , it is so damn hard. But spending time with a wonderful FWB does help, Gives me that much needed escape where I do feel cherished and desired very much.

So anyway, that is the jift of my day. Then I dried all my tears and carried on with my day.

Chin up, eyes dry, smiling


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