Wrong Impressions
 
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The Day I Tried...
Posted:Jul 5, 2020 2:22 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2020 12:59 pm
126 Views

The Day I Tried Live
By Soundgarden

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said seize the day, pull the trigger, drop the blade
And watch the rolling heads
The day I tried live
I stole a thousand beggar's change
And gave it to the rich
The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch yeah
Singing, one more time around
Might do it
One more time around
Might make it
One more time around
Might do it
One more time around

The day I tried to live
Words would you say
Never seem to live the ones inside your head
The lives we make
Never seem ever get us anywhere but dead
The day I tried live
I wallowed in the blood and mud with all the other pigs
Singing, one more time around
Might do it
One more time around
Might make it
One more time around
Might do it
One more time around
The day I tried live, live
I tried
I woke the same as any other day you know
I should have stayed in bed
The day I tried win
I walled in the blood and mud with all the other pigs
And I learned that I was a liar (one more time around)
I learned that I was a liar (one more time around)
I learned that I was a liar (one more time around)
I learned that I was a liar (one more time around)
Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)
One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around (might make it)
The day I tried live, live
Just like you
Just like you
One more time around
One more time around

This song at first glance would seem be a very depressing one about ending things. But the fact that songwriter Chris Cornell has different intentions is what makes this an interesting juxtaposition.

He meant it be about living in the day metaphorically speaking. But many people have taken it literally. It begs the question of when does a piece of art, literature or communication take on a life of it’s own beyond what the creator or writer intended.
How many times have we all written something that someone perceived differently? Did that misunderstanding escalate into something it shouldn’t have? Did you end apologizing even though you felt you did no wrong? Did you ever misread or mishear something and not ask what the author truly meant?

I’ve had my share of miscommunications. I’ve apologized and I have stubbornly stood my ground. Neither way is invalid unless one leads to hurt feelings and irreparable damage. Do I wish I could erase the stupid comments or too quickly spouted out replies? Of course. But it doesn’t work that way. I can only move forward and hope that I tried to live that day. And the next day after that. Until it becomes second nature. I hope it happens. And I hope it does sooner than later.
1 comment
Fireworks
Posted:Jul 4, 2020 10:26 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2020 10:28 am
272 Views

Hey girl I gotta admit something
It’s like this: you gotta know what you do
a guy like ohhh yeah ohhh yeah!
You rocked my world
Yes you did! With your fire red hair
And eyes that light my fire
OMG! I’m just gobsmacked I tell ya!

You are hotter than a firecracker
Can’t help it baby you blow away
Got fireworks going off baby yes I do
Every time I see you
Every time I feel you
Fireworks! Fireworks! fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!

The way you walk it just melts me
Hips swaying back and forth
Telling me a story with them I can tell
Hey big boy wanna touch me yeah?
That’s I can hear you sexy thing
Shaking them hips as I lick my lips

You are hotter than a firecracker
Can’t help it baby you blow away
Got fireworks going off baby yes I do
Every time I see you
Every time I feel you
Fireworks! Fireworks! fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!

Feeling your hands
Is like winning the lottery I tell ya
Can you feel my excitement baby?
There’s No ifs buts or maybes
I’m yours when you hold like that
Your touch ignites baby ohhh yeah!

You are hotter than a firecracker
Can’t help it baby you blow away
Got fireworks going off baby yes I do
Every time I see you
Every time I feel you
Fireworks! Fireworks! fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!

My body is your road map
anything you want and I’ll go
Take that journey you sexy sexy thing
one way ticket for the two of us
Gonna ride this til we both explode
Like firecrackers on the 4th of July

You are hotter than a firecracker
Can’t help it baby you blow away
Got fireworks going off baby yes I do
Every time I see you
Every time I feel you
Fireworks! Fireworks! fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!

Ohhh yeah baby! It’s that time I can tell
Gonna go off like rockets in the sky
You and me baby! OMG! No way
I’m gonna stop now uh huh uh huh
Might not end till the morning light
And you’re outta my sight

You are hotter than a firecracker
Can’t help it baby you blow me away
Got fireworks going off baby yes I do
Every time I see you
Every time I feel you
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
Fireworks! Fireworks! Oh fireworks!
Bang! Bang! Ohhhh bang! Bang! Bang!
2 Comments
Catching Lightning
Posted:Jul 3, 2020 7:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2020 8:58 am
264 Views

Couldn’t believe my luck
When you decided to look my way
Left me dumbstruck with nothing to say
Words are my weapon that much is sure
But I’m left unarmed and defenseless
Every time I see you, my beautiful baby
I don’t care if I’m just your latest fad
Because I never wanted anyone this bad

I’ve been struck down so hard
A goner I surely am, my wicked girl
Like catching lightning in a bottle
That’s how this feels every single day
From the top of my head
All the way down to my toes
I’ve been struck down so hard
Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you

All because of you, my little force of nature
Been struck by lightning you see
When you look that way at me
Don’t try to resuscitate this guy
I wanna die just like I do every time
I’m laying over you, my dream come true

I’ve been struck down so hard
A goner I surely am, my wicked girl
Like catching lightning in a bottle
That’s how this feels every single day
From the top of my head
All the way down to my toes
I’ve been struck down so hard
Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you

Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you
Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you
I think it’s way too late baby girl
I’m such a goner just tag my toe
I’ve been struck down so hard
Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you
Trying to catch this lightning bolt that’s you
5 Comments
Just A Touch....
Posted:Jul 2, 2020 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2020 9:25 pm
458 Views

Here I am laying in bed alone again. It’s not that sad really. The truth is that I’m feeling rather better these days. It’s for a simple reason you see, I met you and found myself enthralled by you. Don’t mistake my words for something romantic. They are filled with erotic thoughts that you have inspired within me. A true friend who understands that play can mean something and yet not be a betrothal. With that in mind, please accept this gift : my thoughts of you while I lay here in bed. Touching myself like I haven’t in a very long time....

Five o clock in the morning and I haven’t gone to sleep yet. My mind is restless as is it’s wont. A never ending parade of wishes , hopes, dreams and wistful regrets. I’m looking at the breaking dawn as it’s first few beams trace a corner of my bed, threatening to take away this night. A night of simple joys where you held my hand and only gave me a kiss before your rest was required and my life took me elsewhere.

My body covered in a slight sheen of sweat. It’s always warm here despite a cool rush of a/c above. My Latin blood I suppose. Thoughts slide away to that palace in my dreams. Where I can see you adorned in such regal attire. My eyes close and my travels down past my chest as it rises slightly in a stifled breath. Already the mere inkling of you arousing me so. Fingers slowly making their way as my imagination replaces my hand with yours.
A soft supple touch reaching down to the source of many men’s respective pride but not I. My cock throbs with a yearning. Swelling of its own accord. Idle memories of our past encounters fueling this rapid engorgement. My shaft and my hand have distant strangers of late but seeing you in my mind’s eye unlocks this torturous gate.

Gripping myself with a fervor , legs spreading wider, hips bucking slightly ,I know I am submitting myself totally to these urges. This ache to fill you. To taste from your thighs and suck greedily on your nipples. To worship your body over and over until our bodies fail us. That is my desire in the early morning haze.

Stroking faster, harder, tugging at my cock with a vigor. Listening to the slick sounds made as my first few drops of pre come escape to coat my fingers in glistening glory. I make no effort to brag about my size. My girth is hefty but I know the length would not be enough for most. This is about my unrepentant joy in thinking of you and me, and also the others who are lucky to have you. It matters not if I am with you. It matters only that you receive pleasure befitting a queen.

Groaning quietly as I turn my head to my pillow. My other hand massages my heavy balls, rolling them between fingers and tugging slightly until they grow taut. My shaft still pumped with an eagerness so strong. Veins so thick and swollen they deliver signals of blissful discomfort as if you were wrapped me. Tight. Wet. Hot. And sinfully so.

My heart races faster than a racehorse in a derby for the crown. My senses heightened to extreme levels as my orgasm approaches. Pumping my cock and letting go of my dangling sacs. Legs lifting my hips up as I thrust towards my imaginary lover. Eyes closed so I can see your face. Feeling that familiar rush as my length is milked if it’s untapped reserves. White creamy ropes of sex flying up and landing back upon me. My thighs, my stomach and yes partly my chest. Laying there wide awake with my heart rate refusing to lessen its rhythms.
Spent for the moment but find my hunger has not been sated at all. Instead it’s like an exposed nerve or live wire crackling and snapping with a fury of its own.

I hope you enjoy this gift. It’s given to a friend I respect and adore. I hope to know you for as long as you will have me. Smiles wide and blows a kiss your way
3 Comments
Not Right In The Head
Posted:Jul 1, 2020 11:39 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2020 12:23 am
599 Views

Told myself I wasn’t gonna listen anymore
To that voice inside my head
Too bad my Heart didn’t get the memo
Cuz here I am again alone in bed
Listening to my inner cry
And no one else to tell me it’s ok
You screwed up now go on
Get up and try again if you can
Think I’ll stay in bed all day
Probably safer that way
No danger of telling my story
Only to fall on deaf ears
Just me myself and I
What a cozy group we are
Silence is golden or so I hear
Never had that problem when the voice is here
Giving bad advice like a vending machine
No change needed it’s all for free
Go ahead voice tell me again
How to win over people
Influence them even
Who needs friends it tells you
When I’m all you ever need
Love is for suckers my friend
I’ll keep you warm and cozy
All alone in this bed yet again
Live life to its fullest?
Excuse me have we met?
That’s for the other people
You know the ones looking in
Not those poor bastards looking out
So go on and trim off the lights
Let’s shut down together ok
We can be Butch and Sundance
So let’s jump at the count of one
Into the unknown of that next life
This ones been a letdown
It’ll be different I promise
The voice says since it’s just me and you
I’ll accept the lie and move along
Normally there’s someone to stop me
But not this time and not this way
It’s just me, myself and I
Talking to myself I know
Much cooler to pretend I mattered
When the truth was right there
Couldn’t see or hear anything
Just listen to how it really is
I’m gone and not right in the head
1 comment
The Wrong Words
Posted:Jul 1, 2020 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2020 11:13 pm
477 Views

If only I knew what to say
Or how to act around you
But it seems like every word I give
Ends up being wrong
And you walk away
You just walk away
You just walk away

Regrets are easy I should know
I have a locker full of those I do
Kept inside within my heart
I didn't know those words would hurt
But I guess its time for me to go

I've overstayed my welcome
I've played the fool for so long
It's the only part I know to play
So here's my curtain call
I won't take a bow
Just leave the stage like I should have done

It just seems like every word I give
Ends up being wrong
And hurts the ones I love
So I'll just walk away
Yeah I'll just walk away
I'll just walk away

Forgiveness isn't easy to give
This I know too well
Its even harder when It's me
That can't forgive myself at all
I wish things were different
That I could be the friend you need
And not the friend in need

It just seems like every word I give
Ends up being wrong
And hurts the ones I love
So I'll just walk away
Yeah I'll just walk away
I'll just walk away

Alone again lost in my own world
Yeah I'll just walk away
I'll just walk away
Time to go this way
I'll just walk away
I'll just walk away
0 Comments
....broken
Posted:Jun 30, 2020 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2020 7:39 pm
570 Views

My Heart Is Broken by Evanescence

I pull away to face the pain
I close my eyes and drift away
Over the fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul
And I will wander 'til the end of time
Torn away from you
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold
Or from my hard heart
I can't go on living this way
But I can't go back the way I came
Shamed of this fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul
And I will wander 'til the end of time
Half a life without you
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us, change, open your eyes to the light
I denied it all so long, oh so long
Say goodbye, goodbye
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold
0 Comments
A Prayer For A Friend
Posted:Jun 30, 2020 9:05 am
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2020 12:40 am
580 Views

God I know we haven’t been speaking terms for quite some time
But hear me out in this time of need for a friend in deeds
I’ve been taught you work in mysterious ways
But I want believe that you have a plan for us
With that in mind here is my hope and my prayer
I know from experience you’ve never listened my pleas
But I have believe that you will do it for her
Doesn’t matter if she’s a believer like some will say
I can feel it in my bones that you love your
Equal and without reservation is your way
So please lend your divine strength her now
Shine a bright light upon her path allay her fears
Ease the pain that plagues her at uncertain times
If a balance is needed make things alright
You know where look when that cost comes due
I ask is give her your love as it heals like none other
Her shining presence is still needed for the rest of us
As selfish as that sounds I’m sure you
Please listen my prayer as it is not for
But for a friend I hold dear and hope keep awhile
Lessen her load for she has suffered enough
Please give her more time more love more strength
That is my hope that is my desire that is my prayer
1 comment
Free Myself
Posted:Jun 30, 2020 2:11 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2020 7:39 pm
571 Views

Used to care what people thought
Bit my tongue till it bled
Didn’t care if I died a lil inside
Every time getting a lil easier
To lose myself in hidden pain
Quiet the voice that screamed
From deep inside
My prison of discontent
So dark so hollow is my soul
So familiar and yet so strange

So scream out loud
For all to hear
My cries of suffering
Made so plain
My howls of despair
Given form so clear
My laughter all gone
A thing of the past now

Slowly crawling from under
The weight of my burden now
Trying to make everyday
Worthwhile and worry free
A chance to speak my mind
Without fear of rejection
Be a better man
Show what I’ve known
All along while all alone

Unshackle my chains
Unleash my tormented soul
To find the one I lost before
Tell her my secret shame
Let the chips fall where they may
Time to gamble
This broken heart away
Time to go towards her
Not run away. Not anymore
0 Comments
Wasted On You
Posted:Jun 28, 2020 2:58 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2020 2:23 pm
658 Views

I don't need drugs
I'm already six feet low
Wasted on you
Waiting for a miracle
I can't move on
Feels like we're frozen in time
I'm wasted on you
Just pass me the bitter truth
Love, don't you remember?
We were the ones
Nothing could ever change and love
It's easier not believe we have broken everything
But here we are
Numb my head till I can't think anymore
But I still feel the pain
I don't need drugs
I'm already six feet low
Wasted on you
Waiting for a miracle
I can't move on
Feels like we're frozen in time
I'm wasted on you
Just pass me the bitter truth
Once this was a garden
This was our world
All of the nightmares stayed in the dark
A little too much time by yourself
And you become the enemy
Just look at us now
Drowning slowly, just to stay true
I don't need drugs
I'm already six feet low
Wasted on you
Waiting for a miracle
I can't move on
I feel like we're frozen in time
I'm wasted on you
Just pass me the bitter truth
Will I ever be the same?
Am I strong enough to change?
Is it in my blood?
Shield my eyes to face the day
Come too far to slip away
But it's killing me to go on without you
I don't need drugs
I'm already six feet low
I'm wasted on you
Waiting for a miracle
I can't move on
Like we're frozen in time
I'm wasted on you
Just pass me the bitter truth

By Evanescence
1 comment
A Simple Thing...
Posted:Jun 28, 2020 6:34 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2020 8:15 am
645 Views

It’s a fact that human beings are social animals. We all need interaction of some sort or we begin lose our grip. Just a simple conversation can make a world of difference in a persons day. Not mention a casual touch can do the same as well.
I bring this up because I’ve always considered myself a solitary creature that rarely requires people. I even pushed them away as easily as breathing, when I was younger. Self isolation isn’t new to me. I’ve been alone in form or another most of my life. Current circumstances have created a new status quo for my life and quite frankly I’m tired of it. Physically, intellectually and emotionally

Despite my antisocial inclinations, I used to find solace by coming online to chat or engage in other activities cyberwise. I could blow off steam here without feeling like I was going crazy. The real world be dammned. I preferred escaping to my internet wonderland for whatever reason. But that all changed last November. I have had a houseguest since then and given the sleeping arrangements in my home, my once cherished privacy is utterly gone. I gave up using the computer to come here because the new “roomie” didn’t sleep normal hours. He stays up until 2 or 3 am and doesn’t see any harm in constantly looking over my shoulder to see what I’m doing. He’s also not discreet so everything is grist for him to chew upon.

Toss in an extended illness that left me drained for months and a personal loss that still effects me now approaching 4 months prior. I’m beyond spent. The only way I can usually come here is to literally lay in bed with a blanket over me. I have to hide what once was fairly open due to the new roomies sense of morality. He considers sex sites sinful and has mocked me openly about it in the beginning. So I hide and try to sneak away from his judgmental gaze

The other thing that chatting has given me is a sense of intimacy that I have lacked in a very long time. I was married to someone who I met online. She had and still has numerous medical issues which made sex a difficult proposition at times. She also suffered through bouts with cancer that eventually necessitated removing her ovaries save her life. There would be no for us. I loved her irregardless and she gave her blessing for chat with the condition that I never meet anyone for sex. That was never a problem . I went without sex from 21 til 33 and knew it wasn’t a necessity for . We did find times be together but it was extremely rare. The last time was in 2013. We hit a rough patch shortly after that led to her cheating on me with an ex husband of hers. The fact that she sought out sex and became emotionally entangled with someone else is a betrayal that hurt on many levels. My insecurities were strong but after that? I felt like less than nothing
Coming online was my only saving grace. I could enter a chat room and be a happy go lucky sort and be wanted by women on here. It wasn’t “real” but it was close enough. I could feel needed and desired and listened to.

But now that has been taken away by a combination of my own bad choices on here and the abrupt loss of people I thought I knew well enough consider as life long friends. One disappeared last year before I fell ill and the other discarded almost months ago. The former and I have patched up the friendship while the latter will remain a haunting memory of what ifs and whys.

I bring all of this up because I let my feelings of loss and despair bleed into my chatting. I needed a break but the real world was pulling me down a rabbit hole as well. So I decided to stop chatting. It was hard but I muddled along thanks to a couple of people who kept in touch with me and gave me a glimmer of hope. I also turned to blogging to use as my release valve. It’s been very helpful and I have also discovered some blogs on here that I truly enjoy.

I only just recently made the return to the chat rooms. One lovely friend has made me feel welcome in her room and I am very grateful for that. She is going through her own hardships but still finds time to talk with me. That takes patience, class and basic human goodness to do that. I can almost feel like my self but still slip into self conscious insecurities.

If you see in a room please know I am trying. I just want talk and feel like I matter someone. I want be able trust again and I want laugh and joke and yes maybe . I’m tired of being alone and unwanted or ignored. I’m not looking for love but I’m hoping for friendship. Is that too much to hope for?

I don’t know. I hope not.
3 Comments
Hold Me Now
Posted:Jun 27, 2020 12:25 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2020 1:05 am
635 Views

I have a picture
Pinned my wall
An image of you and of and we're laughing, we're loving it all
But look at our life now
All tattered and torn
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
Oh, whoa
Hold now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with
Let loving start
Let loving start
You say I'm a dreamer, we're of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here
Yeah, yeah, and go far away
But you know that there's nowhere that I'd rather be than with you here today
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa
Hold me now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with me
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
Hold me now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with me
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
You ask if I love you
Well, what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we
So I'll sing you a new song
Please don't cry anymore
I'll even ask your forgiveness
Though I don't know just what I'm asking it for
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa
Hold now, whoa
(Hold in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with
(Stay with )
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
Hold now, whoa
(Hold in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
Hold now, whoa
(Hold in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with
(Stay with )
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
Hold now, whoa
(Hold in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with
(Stay with )
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa
Hold now, whoa
(Hold in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with
(Stay with )
Let loving start
Let loving start, whoa

Thank you, Thompson Twins, for a great song
1 comment
Mysterious Ways
Posted:Jun 27, 2020 9:20 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2020 7:39 pm
617 Views

I wasn’t looking stay
But something caught my eye
On the road anywhere but here
I’m not one keep silent
So let speak up now
All it took was a hand given freely
With no strings attached
Guiding away from a path
Filled with destruction
Thank you seems so meaningless
So instead I’ll say it plainly
It’s true I wanted you from the start
But couldn’t say it
Without breaking a different heart
Time changes circumstance
And now here we are
No longer looking in from afar
Instead of being alone
Which I thought was my fate
I found a friend in you
Learnt it’s never too late
To be happy again before my end
Funny how things work out
Since I was looking toward the door
But caught your eye on my way out
I think I’ll stay this time around
See where this path leads me
Since I now have some faith
Instilled by your presence
The friend I never asked for
The friend who took the time
To hold my hand and show
I have value I have worth
Giving thanks just isn’t enough
So listen to me now
This is my pledge if you will
A vow given without hesitation
You have a friend for life in me
Anytime anywhere anyhow
Life works in mysterious ways
But this is as clear as the shining day
I’ll never leave you if you let me stay
I was a friend most in need
And you are one in every deed
That’s all anyone can ask for
In this life or the next one beyond
So let it be my turn
To hold your hand this time
Guide you away from my destination
And let you feel what I felt
Life is worth living
As long as it has you in it
As long as you’ll permit
I’ll be here when you’re ready
Just give me the word
I’m a step behind you
To keep you from falling
That’s my promise and my vow
Now and forever that’s where I’ll be
0 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Catching Lightning (7)author51
Jul 6, 2020 8:23 am
Fireworks (3)author51
Jul 6, 2020 8:19 am
The Day I Tried... (2)author51
Jul 6, 2020 12:31 am
Just A Touch.... (5)BurningEmbers44
Jul 3, 2020 7:45 pm
Goodbye (9)HoniSoitQuiMalYP
Jul 3, 2020 5:51 am
Not Right In The Head (2)author51
Jul 2, 2020 12:07 am
A Prayer For A Friend (1)author51
Jun 30, 2020 11:56 pm
A Simple Thing... (5)EntertainMe2Nght
Jun 29, 2020 8:06 am
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