WTF Moments....
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Posted:Mar 21, 2012 3:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2012 2:09 am
40883 Views
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Feast thy eyes on these.... 
GREAT SCOTT! - Verily am I rendered befuddled! 
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Today's News Headlines....
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Posted:Mar 19, 2012 8:54 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2012 4:01 am
40391 Views
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Hmmmmm.....a fascinating story indeed; Perchance can anyone here shed any light on what exactly could be causing the offending stench as my mind is completely blank 
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7
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Test Your Maths Skills
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Posted:Mar 15, 2012 4:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2012 5:11 pm
39997 Views
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Mathematics is a skill which attenuates in us all too quickly if we do not keep it up.
In fact, practicing simple mathematical puzzles has been scientifically demonstrated to keep our cerebrums in good working order in general.
With this in mind and seeing as I haven’t featured one in simply ages, I thought that I’d put you all to the test once again 
So without any further ado, let us begin shall we?
Question 1: Dick is sitting at home whacking off to some hardcore porn when his free allocated session on the internet site times out.
Somewhat concerned by this (as he hadn’t yet reached orgasm) he notices on screen that he has the option of continuing his viewing pleasure if he uses his credit card.
Taking into account that he spent £53.93 on booze, ciggys, a kebab, a large glass butt plug and an ornate, 17th century foot stool earlier in the evening however, by how much is Dick now overdrawn? (I’m of course lying about buying the footstool – Dick actually stole it)
Question 2: A few days later, Dick receives a phone call from his bank who explain that he hadn’t in fact set up an overdraft allowance. They promptly inform him that he is due to pay a penalty charge of £25.
After hurling a highly vulgar diatribe at the person on the other end of the phone, Dick subsequently goes to the dole office to collect his giro for the sum of £90 which he cashes in immediately.
On the way home however, Dick is overcome with the urge to visit a sex shop and subsequently purchases a copy of ‘Masturbators Monthly’ for £4.50 and ‘Wankers Weekly’ for £3.95.
He also spies a rather fetching penis pump for £24.99 which he takes as well.
Taking all the above expenditure into account, what is Dick’s present bank balance?
Question 3: The next day Dick is feeling lucky and decides to blow whatever he has left in his account on lottery tickets.
If each ticket is worth £2, how many can he afford to purchase?
And finally….
Question 4: Scratching his dick – I mean, Dick scratches off his cards and is overjoyed to find that he has won £100!
Hurrying to the bank he immediately turns this into cash in the hand and sets off determinedly for the nearest pub.
Unfortunately upon Dick ordering, the barman takes the whole wad and explains that he will use it to part settle Dick’s long standing tab.
If Dick’s tab was for £524.34, who will buy Dick his next drink?
Please note: I’m afraid that I’m completely useless at maths and haven’t worked out the answers to my own questions but please feel free to have a go nonetheless
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Sexual Percentages
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Posted:Mar 15, 2012 7:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2012 2:41 am
39847 Views
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Statistics…..I’ve always found them quite fascinating.
In fact, not only fascinating but highly expedient to for on a fundamental strata it is often very advantageous to break down a given factor into stark empirical data in order that we may study it in a more logical manner.
In relation to this, a few years ago I recall watching an interview with a married couple who made a living producing and starring in sexual education DVD’s. During said interview the couple announced that 80% of their relationship was based upon sex.
This got me thinking (yes, I honestly do this on occasion) as I introspected myself to deduce what approximate percentage I personally would ascribe in a given relationship as to the intrinsic eminence of the same physical constituent.
My question therefore is, what percentage would you estimate as to the importance of sex in your relationship/s?
PS. Try as I might, I couldn't come up with a suitable pic for this post so instead opted for the following....
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It of course has absolutely no relevance to the subject matter whatsoever in any way, shape or form but I thought it was rather intriguing nonetheless
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Warning: Please Do Not Try This At Home
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Posted:Mar 14, 2012 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2012 3:51 am
41722 Views
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Regular watchers will (un)happily recall that I've previously featured a glorious myriad of penile mutilations on my blog for your viewing (dis)pleasure
In fact we've seen numerous instances of the humble penis being tattooed, skewered, cut down the middle, cut in half, castrated and as in the previous post, squashed painfully between two sheets of clear perspex.
So what does that leave us?
Yes indeed ladies and gentlemen, let's see a misguided individual trying to set his weener alight....
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Woooooooooooooooooo!
Hmmmm.....Is that bacon I can smell cooking?
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13
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Flower Pressing.....
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Posted:Mar 13, 2012 3:47 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2016 12:47 pm
48276 Views
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.....was a highly popular hobby in Victorian times enjoyed by both and adults alike.
...Of course that's because in those days there wasn't XBox's and internet porn to keep them amused but nonetheless I for one find it truly charming when here in the 21st century with all of our technological advances, some folk choose to revisit the bygone days and resurrect such innocent pursuits as incidentally, has the chap below in this absolutely delightful pic....
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How lovely eh?
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29
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HNW: Exclusive Bonus Shot!
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Posted:Mar 7, 2012 6:39 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2018 4:32 am
44518 Views
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After the opprobrium of my last shot I thought that I might make amends with a special bonus HNW pic (plus I've noticed that a few others of you are doing bonus shots these days so I pondered that I might steal the idea)
So, without any further ado - here it is....
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May I introduce you all to my right foot
It's quite lovely and dainty isn't it?
Pray do reveal any warped sexual fantasies that my beloved tootsie may inspire.
Also, any compliments on my carpet will be greatly appreciated
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HNW: Woe betide the ignominy!
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Posted:Mar 7, 2012 6:10 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2018 4:32 am
47505 Views
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So I was thinking (I do this sometimes you know), I haven't submitted any pics for this weekly event for ages. Easy to fix that then I mused at least 
Unfortunately I was a bit pushed for time and couldn't really come up with anything of artistic merit i.e. couldn't be bothered to put in any effort
Nonetheless, after a Herculean like struggle to shift my lazy arse from the sofa/couch, I eventually ambled into the bathroom to snap a photo.
Equitable enough thus far? But wait! - for this is where the story takes a decidedly dim turn. You see, upon viewing the resulting pic I couldn't help but notice much to my grave consternation, that I had committed the ultimate photographic faux pas.....namely that my loo roll is on show! In fact not only this but upon closer inspection I subsequently discovered much to my even greater chagrin that in fact there are TWO bog rolls in view!!!!! (I always put out a spare for when the one on the roll is nearly depleted)
Ladies and gentlemen, let this therefore, my shameful HNW submission, serve as a beacon of what NEVER to fall victim to along with the other two golden rules of bathroom photography namely, a) If your toilet is on display in the pic, ALWAYS make sure that the lid is down and b) If taking pictures of yourself reflected in your bathroom mirror, please make sure to clean it first!
Happy HNW everyone
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29
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Testicle Tuesday
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Posted:Mar 6, 2012 11:35 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 6:16 pm
41876 Views
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It's Tuesday and that can mean only one thing; Time for the lovely pussNbooties's weekly homage to the male orbs of power - the testes
And what a tasteful, testicle treat I have for you today good readers.....
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WTF?!?!?! 
Let us take a brief moment to examine this positively intriguing photograph shall we?
Ok, so at a precursory glance I can spot a needle, a clothes peg, a hex key and some strategically and tightly wrapped cord which appears to be connected to some form of weight as can be seen at the bottom of the pic.
Hmmmm.....well he's certainly come apparently equipped for seemingly any eventuality at any rate. Is this perchance a photo from the private albums of Bear Grylls?
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12
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The March Pinup
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Posted:Mar 5, 2012 6:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2012 3:45 pm
40873 Views
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Ah, we're in glorious March now and what better way to celebrate it I mused, than to feature a sexy centerfold for your viewing delight
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Mmmmm....I'd just love to plant my seed into her beautiful flower garden
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20
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Facts You May Not Know (and possibly in hindsight, didn't want to either)
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Posted:Mar 5, 2012 6:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2012 3:22 pm
38902 Views
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Did you know that the world's longest turd measured a whopping 26 (yes I repeat 26!!!) feet in length?
Said spectacular shit was apparently the result of a specially formulated high fiber diet implemented at the university of Michigan in 1995.
Well, I don't know about you but I for one think that this was overtly a case of public taxes well spent on this invaluable experiment
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14
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The A-Z Guide To 2012 Armageddon: HELP!
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Posted:Mar 1, 2012 10:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2012 3:30 pm
39302 Views
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Time once again now to revisit this potentially life saving series as we explore alphabetically, the possible doomsday scenarios that we may face in this our supposed final year as a species on this planet whilst additionally offering up survival strategies for each calamity in turn.
Unfortunately, having reached the letter E (for which I couldn’t think of anything  ) and being a bit of a decidedly lazy sod, I urgently require your aid good readers; Yes, I need you to help me complete this invaluable guide.
If you scroll down the page you’ll see how it’s done; All you have to do is take a random letter of the alphabet and offer up a corresponding cataclysm for that letter; Then simply list a possible way that we may combat it and hopefully, live to fight another day
To get the old balls swinging – um, I mean ball rolling, I’ll start you off with:
G is for: Godzilla!
The monstrous by product of nuclear testing, this mighty behemoth first began terrorising our planet back in 1954.
Since this time it has managed to trample and level entire cities around the globe costing we innocent tax payers billions upon billions in reparation for its rampaging damage.
But where and when will Godzilla strike next and what on earth can be done to stop it?
Luckily a solution does exist based upon the principle of fighting fire with fire; Ladies and gentlemen, may I present unto you, Mechagodzilla!
Originally created by a hostile alien race back in 1974 in order to defeat Godzilla (unsuccessfully I might add), our governments subsequently formed a secret coalition in order to pool together the world’s top scientific minds so as to reverse engineer the original design and technology.
In fact in relation to this, I have uncovered overwhelming evidence that suggests that former President Reagan’s SDI (Strategic Defence Initiative) or ‘Star Wars’ programme as it came to be termed, was in fact nothing but a smoke screen erected in order to obfuscate from the public the truth of what the trillion or so budget was actually being spent on ……yep, you’ve guessed it - Mechagodzilla.
Remember where you heard this exclusive conspiriological news first and if I should suddenly disappear then you’ll now know full well that the CIA has obviously deemed to silence me for good
But enough of my concerns; Over to you now
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13
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I have returned.....
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Posted:Feb 28, 2012 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2012 3:36 pm
45089 Views
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.....after a brief absence and lo do I find'eth that my blog watch list has vanished into the ether. Fuck'eth and fuck'eth again I doth say! 
Nonetheless, on my travels I have at least managed to procure pictorial proof as to the inherent importance of girth.....
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To be quite honest, I don't know who to feel more sorry for; The poor lady on the doubtless, decidedly lackluster receiving end of this pencil like apparition or else the poor chap so cruelly endowed with this woeful looking specimen of manhood
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33
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To link to this blog (Mygentlecaress) use [blog Mygentlecaress] in your messages.
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