While I was Dreaming
Welcome to The Dreamery. There have been a few changes, but my blog is still simply a random series of Thoughts and fantasies, examining my past and my impossible future. Nothing on this blog is a lie. When I say nothing that follows is made up you can be sure it is the truth. Even the dreams are real dreams that I have had . And all the fantasies are my real fantasies.

There are however some questions which may never be answered:
Is it possible to actually laugh your arse off?
How sick is a parrot?
Are sandboys truly happy?
And just how mad is a box of frogs anyway?

And mostly, I do have it all in perspective!
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Is it Time for a New Book?
Posted:Nov 22, 2021 4:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2021 11:01 am

Can I ask you guys a question? (You guys who are my regular watchers and readers that is..... )

When I first started blogging, I got quite a lot of questions from people wanting to know what book it was I was reading. I don't think I have had that question once in the last six or seven years now.

Is it time for a new book? And by that I mean, does it matter that my picture is now ten years out of date? I have thought about maybe taking a new picture in the same pose, but with a different book and patched and faded jeans. (I'm not sure if the people reading now have known me long enough to get the joke though......

The little bit of hair you could see would be greyer. But of course I am not here looking for the next meet or hook up - what really keeps me coming back is the chance of making contact with someone who really gets what I am thinking about on a given subject, or who can understand or appreciate some sexual fantasy I might have in a way I probably don't feel I would be understood, or can allow to show, in real life.

So it doesn't matter to me that someone might think I am trying to look younger than I am, and as you can't see my face and I am still in pretty much the same shape otherwise, would it make any difference?

The other thing is, I see what have become, to me, Iconic user pictures of people which are comforting in a consistent sort of way. Like Lindo in his kilt or Bigglala's tongue. Violette's diamond-chevron socks, Redrockrascal's rose tinted specs, Jules' eyes hidden by the brim of her hat, and Smarty's golden eagle T shirt. (Or whatever that emblem is - what is that Smarty? ) I know I don't have a massive following who keep a look out for my picture to the left of the column when they are reading other blogs or whatever, but I find myself reluctant to change it just in case it might catch someone's eye out there from way back when........

Does it matter? How do you feel about your picture?
Posted:Nov 19, 2021 7:16 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2021 3:27 am

"We must accept the fact that very few life forms will ever meet our high standards. When you get irritated, just try to be tolerant, and remember they can't help being what they are."

This raises a number of questions.

1 ) Is it possible to follow this advice without accepting the implied conceit that we, (the individual following the advice,) consider ourselves to be superior to the people we interact with? If you asked me before writing this post, I would have said I did not consciously feel superior - certainly not in physical or mental ability, social standing or entitlement. And as we are on this site, not in terms of athleticism, adventurousness, experience or endowment. (Hang on Dreamer, we are digressing badly - what has penis size got to do with this and who the hell gave you permission to imply you have a penis, (not that there's anything wrong with that) when in fact you know perfectly well you are above average.....? And there are too many brackets in this sentence, get back to the point.)

The point is, when it comes to moral compass, empathy and willingness to put another person first, I think deep down maybe I do consider myself superior. And I have no business to: I can be as flawed and selfish as the next person. To feel yourself superior is a route to all kinds of problems. And yet in practical situations, if I to be a kinder, pleasanter person, the above quote remains good advice.

2 ) Why can't difficult and unpleasant people help being what they are? Surely if we can try, so should they. Maybe they could help being what they are, but maybe it doesn't matter to them?

3 ) If we consider it important to have high standards, ought we to be tolerant of those who don't? This can be argued both ways - we extoll tolerance, therefore we must accept the behaviour of others. Or, if we do not point out to others where they fall short, how will they know we would prefer them to modify their behaviour? Is it morally right even to them to change? Who decides which standards are the "right" ones?

4 ) Is it really advisable to be taking advice from the script of a popular science fiction tv series? (In theory I don't see why not, if it is well written and apposite, after all, we accept that there is plenty of wisdom in earlier classics such as Shakespeare or Jane Austin. But that seems easier to justify.)

5 ) At what point do we decide that someone who can not meet our standards can not offer us any form of worthwhile friendship? People of my acquaintance vary in their feelings in this respect. Some are happy in the company of people whose behaviour they would criticise. They actively enjoy seeing another perspective on life. Others can only be comfortable with those who share their own opinions and lifestyle. Yet others mix with everyone, but feel ill at ease or even led into situations they wish they had avoided.

Suddenly I find myself thinking that these philosophical questions apply right across the whole range of human interactions and organisation, not just whether I get irritated by people at the supermarket checkout........
The Week's Highlights
Posted:Nov 17, 2021 9:00 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2021 2:22 am

Things I heard or said or didn't say, or wished I had said or didn't say:

"Wow you are really extremely attractive." (To one of my 's new directors, who I met for the first time on Monday. I think my eyes may have said it, but I managed not to say it out loud. I think. It's hard to remember - she kept smiling and looking me straight in the eye. )

"What's that stag doing chasing those deer Uncle Dreamer?" (Heard said)
"He's practising for the Deer Park Pole Vault." (Not said. MASSIVE eye-wateringly huge penis on the stag in the deer park. I mean really standing proud. Long. Looking recently used. Rutting season of course. Should have seen it coming. Glad we didn't, ha haa.)

"Oh well don't bother even looking at me let alone saying thank you then." (To the person for whom I kindly stopped rather than nipping over quickly before they got to the pedestrian crossing.)

And to the woman at the supermarket checkout: "Please don't pick your nose between each item when you are handling my shopping!"
"Pony up" for Halloween?
Posted:Oct 29, 2021 4:09 am
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2021 5:49 am

I had a slightly strange dream last night. I got involved in a discussion about Halloween. It turned out the guy I was talking to was a real life werewolf, and was campaigning against people putting on Halloween costumes as he said it was cultural misappropriation. He said there was no way he was going to "pony up" for a party. I got the impression that to pony up was how werewolves described the practice of putting on a mask and fake hair on the back of the hands.

I was so taken with the expression that I had to look it up to make sure it wasn't real! I discovered it is a phrase more well known in the USA, where it means to be prepared to part with money. Maybe somewhere in my sub-conscious I was aware of that? I don't know. Maybe my friend had been invited to a party at an exclusive resort or something and didn't want to part with the cash? But from now on, I shall always think that putting on an Halloween costume, particularly a hairy one, is ponying up.

I have never been much of a participant. Where I grew up it was never been a big event, but for quite a while now it has been gathering pace in this country. Last year they had a massive street party near where I live, and three women turned up at my door dressed as extremely sexy witches. I admit that I was terribly tempted to invite them in. But I was frightened they might say yes, lol. I remembered from the movies - not a good idea to indulge in any sexual activity on Halloween, lol!
How Could She Know?
Posted:Oct 25, 2021 10:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2021 10:31 am

A simple TV mystery
An extra without history
Her moment on the set so unimportant.

How could she know,
She stole the show?
I watched her walking up behind the lead

She was so hot
Forget the plot
I played the moment back - oh shame indeed!

But was she trying?
No use denying
Directors watch these scenes for future casting

But did she sense
Quite how intense
And how my warm response would be so lasting?

Simply dressed
Could she have guessed
I'd watch her swaying hips time and again?

The way she moves
I say it proves
That lust is something mainly in the brain.

And for anyone writing serious poetry who has suffered my well intended critiques in the past - forgive me, I sat down to write about seeing this extra on TV and wondering why I was so turned on when she wasn't being overtly or deliberately sexy and had nothing whatsoever to do with the story, and it just came out this way! No pretention toward literary verse of any kind intended
The Time
Posted:Oct 19, 2021 2:13 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2021 3:29 am

Some days I breeze along and get things done. Sometimes all life around me makes me smile. Sometimes I wish I had a river to skate away on.

Sometimes nothing seems worth the trouble - I notice everything that's wrong. Sometimes my heart is gladdened by the rain.

I wake each day and estimate my outlook - a day to muddle through or one to fly?

And sometimes, by my second or third tea cup, I manage to achieve something with my time. But lately the whole process seems much harder; less light, more shade. I'm not sure where I'm aiming.

And the time passes. It seems like there is much less of it left, but I'm no nearer knowing what I want it for.
That Thrill of a New Experience
Posted:Oct 12, 2021 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2021 4:08 am

Lots of missing words in this one - see my first comment for a readable version.

I read a question somewhere - "Where will all end? When you get used a kink does become normalised and then you for something new?"

The thrill of a new experience? Is that, really? sometimes is that. sometimes what you are looking for is more of an instinctive mental connection, the one which seems always just half out of reach. The one you had once or twice didn't you, a long time ago, at least you think you did, now you can't quite remember what it felt like....

He / she looked at you, your insides caught fire and you just melted. Suddenly you found yourself thinking how much you wanted do all those things that would seemed a bit too animal until you saw that on their face. That electric moment when you first know they want you the way you want them. A shiver that goes through your veins when they touch your hand, that buzz when your lips first meet. I'm not sure matters whether they picked up on your kinks or whether they just looked inside and seen the real you. in the end that is almost the thing, and that's why the two feelings seem so similar?

I don't enough experience know, but me, a kink feels a bit like another way experience that initial hunger. You can't replicate the feeling of falling in love, but you can come close with a lustful kink? Especially if your partner knows and understands, or better still, shares your kink. But can a true kink be temporary, something you can move on from? me, a fetish seems grow if you feed , not become old. I don't know where came from, but the gothic always turns me on. But lies dormant in me until I see a woman with a black square-cut fringe. Or when Gothic walks by my window. I saw her yesterday, just as I was getting out of my car. She stopped and we chatted. She was smiling and happy. made me feel good. A few years back when we nearly got together she wasn't really in a good place, and made me happy see her now with her life all sorted out. And I know all the time we were both still thinking, "I wish we could slept together." I could see in her eyes. But we aren't going revisit that. We both know it wouldn't ended well. The hunger is still , but we don't feed . if we did then in the end would get old. I don't want find out. We are both happy with it the way it is. But then she doesn't wear all black and the dark purple lipstick or her hair like that anymore. I don't know how easily I could control myself if she did, lol.

's another kink I but I don't talk about anymore. 's not particularly unusual but could be detrimental someone wanted share with me, and I don't want encourage that. But stays with me, I can't imagine needing move on for a new one.

"Where will all end?" was the question. Do you always move on the next kink, like a jaded porn addict? I don't think so. From the I know I don't imagine the person asked the question really feeling like that either. Or that's just me.

Because I am lucky. For me, if I a meeting of minds, then whether brings lust or friendship, I always feel a new thrill.
Rough Fuck Fantasy?
Posted:Oct 5, 2021 8:46 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2021 9:29 am

Her user name and short profile portrayed a woman who wanted to be fucked pretty rough. Thrown down, hands held behind head and hair pulled back.........I suspected a fake, but the picture; perfect breasts half covered by a figure hugging cross-wrap shirt had caught my eye and was making me feel sexy.

It isn't often I find myself unsure of what I want. (Unsure what I am going to do about it, yes! But not uncertain about my feelings.) Rough porn doesn't turn me on, and generally I prefer fairly gentle sex, where the mental connection and the soft touch brings out the fire. Although I suppose that can sometimes lead to unexpected heat, and I can work hard when I need to. But I never want to hurt anyone. Why was I so attracted to this image?

One that really screams

Once, years ago, a blog friend asked me to write a fantsay about rough sex. I pulled out all the stops and in the middle of writing it I found I was scaring myself! I managed to write vividly, and I kept wanting to stop and say "this isn't the real me." And yet writing it was a turn on too. Someone who didn't know me might say maybe I am frightened of a side of me which might get out of control, but I don't think it is that at all. I have been out of control with women - it doesn't play out like that lol, and it is usually me that ends up getting hurt!

In day dreaming about this fantasy, I realised that if I met this woman and she wanted me, I probably wouldn't be able to treat her rough, even if that was what she really wanted. I imagine that I would just be my strong-but-gentle sensitive self, and she would warm to that, realising that she could be giving without being taken. I guess my fantasy is to soften a rough-sex-junkie into a babe, lol.

In between the wrong and the right.

I suppose fantasies fall into two categories: The day-dreams you have about situations or events you really would like to experience, and the ones which you think about, play out in your head, but which you know you wouldn't want to actually happen.

Sometimes I am not entirely sure which one this is. Mostly it is just a mental turn on which in real life I wouldn't even like. Sometimes I wonder though, whether there is a hint hidden within it about the kind of woman which, if I had my life over again, I would have been best suited to. Maybe I have always known that. Maybe I have imagined a few bloggers to be like that over the years. No names to mention now, but you might know who you are. Maybe that is how I see Maria Andrejczyk.

In between the dark and the light.

I don't think I am likely to find out now in real life.............but as always, I love to examine what goes on in my head and see if anyone else recognises the same thoughts.

One of These Nights
Heart Warming
Posted:Oct 1, 2021 4:26 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2021 10:52 am
Not a post I was expecting to put up!

You may just remember that a little while ago I posted a blog about how much I love to watch women athletes, and one of the people I mentioned was the Polish javelin thrower Maria Andrejczyk.

I heard today that after coming second at the Olympic games, (I was watching her on TV with a mixture of lust and admiration,) she auctioned her silver medal to raise money to help a sick in Poland get heart surgery.

Then unexpectedly, the people who bought the medal gave it back to her!

I felt the tears in my eyes as I smiled at hearing this lovely heart warming story. What absolutely wonderful people.
Where are they all now?
Posted:Sep 29, 2021 5:39 am
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2021 6:38 am

I was looking through some old business files today, before throwing things away in a clear-out.

Names sprang out from old correspondence - people I used to know and like, but haven't heard of for nearly thirly years. It made me realise how long ago all that was. But also how fast the time has gone. I wonder what happened to those people? Did they have happy lives. Are they even still with us? And what are they doing if they are.

Not being much of a one for social meadia, I don't keep up with people other than my actual current friends. To be honset I can't see the point, and it seems to take up so much of people's time. I have never had hundreds of occasional friends; I'm more of a lifelong committment kind of guy, and I keep in close touch with about six or seven special people. Maybe I have become a little reclusive as I have aged too.

Of course I could probably trace most of these people through the 'book or the tweeter or whatever if I actually wanted to.

But it set me thinking about the friends I have made over the years on these blogs. Some, like Amakamaria, Rose, V, Zandi, Wildfire and Stormyroses email me from time to time, and sometimes we up date each other with news. I love hearing from them.

Others: the Rainbowsox girls, Partygirl, Softasaswan, Sassicat, Skierchick, Bubblevisious, Jakedrake8, WillHe69You2, neofreone - oh far too many others to mention, I felt really close to, either because we had shared deep insights into our lives, or because they had helped me through hard times, or because I was helping them. But I have no way of contacting them now. Some dissappeared, some said goodbye, some just drifted away. Sadly I know, or I think I know, that TheRedheadinHeat sadly died all too young. Her amazing blog is still here and I never know whether it is appropriate to read it or not. Her take on everything was always so uplifting.

Most of these people left partly because they had dealt with what brought them here, or had more important real lives to get on with, but others were struggling with life and looking for difficult answers, and I often wonder, are they ok?

That's life here I guess. I don't usually worry about them. But sometimes I wonder where they all are now..........
The Lust in my Soul
Posted:Sep 27, 2021 1:07 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2021 8:12 am

I'm just back from a long trip away. The scenery was amazing, the beaches divine and the hills and lakes were awsome.

So were my dreams.

In my dream she knows. She knows that I would never hurt her, but that it turns me on that she wants me to use her as my plaything. She says to me, "just fuck me how you want, concentrate on you, it's what I want, that's what makes me come. The thought of you wanting me. The idea that you lust for me in secret........Well the secret's out, and it's making me ache inside that you want me."

I look into her eyes and I can see it's true. The way to give her what she needs is to take what I want. Gently, maybe. With consideration yes, but use. Just for my pleasure. I am normally so fixated with putting a woman first, taking my lead from her. A light touch, never getting too close too soon, waiting until she is more than ready, then satisfied. "Don't do that," she says. "Concentrate on you. Let me see the lust right from your soul. When you come in me it will make me come."

She reaches down, somehow we are both naked now. She is on all fours in front of me and the view of her hard nipples and the way her breasts sway slightly when she moves is sending electricity through all my senses. She bends her lips to my cock and then looks up at me, smiling. "Can I?" she asks.
"Of course."
She slides her tongue over the sweet spot under the head of my cock and sucks me in in deeply. She murmurs something appreciative in her throat and swallows. I can feel the constant pressure of her tongue. I feel like I have to stop her or I will come straight away - something she is doing has started the tingling already. I try to pull out but she won't let go and the pressure starts building up inside me, the tingle expanding and tightening into a growing, rolling wave until it gives way and smashes onto the beach in a series of explosive throbbing pulses.

She keeps swallowing and then looks up and smiles again. "Don't worry" she says, we've gpt time. Now you'll have to fuck me hard to get yourself off again won't you?"

Like I said. Divine
Life is Fire and Rain
Posted:Sep 2, 2021 4:02 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2021 10:37 am

Sometimes I think I want to be James Taylor. Well not really, but you know what I mean.

I’ve been watching some of his recordings and interviews on line - I have been practising my American songbook folk guitar playing recently and he is one of the best, and some of his songs are great to practice on.

In his 2015 interview on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert he said he considers his songs to be living things which constantly need updating, for example in respect of Fire and Rain he says “I wrote that song in 1970, and back then I really hadn’t seen that much - just fire, and rain. Now I have seen so much more, like those little pizzas which are folded over at the corners…….calzone. I hadn’t seen those back then, but if I had I definitely would have added them to the song.”

I feel my life is a bit like that. I need to update myself a bit maybe, write some new lyrics.

Just while I am dealing with that interview – doesn’t Stephen Colbert have a great voice! And Taylor is just so amazingly laid back about his legacy of great songs, somehow managing to gently send himself up without diminishing the quality of our memories. Maybe our lives should be like that too. Relaxed about what has happened, good and bad, but without diminishing the memories.

Of course you can’t be James Taylor without the history of drug addiction and recovery, and I would not want to have to go through whatever the demons he had which lead to that. Or its aftermath. I have had the emotional equivalent and that is enough for me. In this and other recent interviews, he just seems like one of the nicest all round decent, funny guys you could ever hope to meet. And I look a bit like him too. Okay that part is slightly worrying because he is actually ten years or so older than me, but I like the way he looks so maybe I should find that reassuring.

Now all I need is to learn to play and sing like him.
Teach a Young Man Sex?
Posted:Aug 17, 2021 9:18 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2021 12:43 pm

I have serious questions.

I read a fascinating post on another blog recently regarding the subject of teaching partners about sex.

Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that I had a very formative experience with a woman I blogged about a lot in my early day here, and who I called "the Lioness." (If you weren't reading then or want a reprise key posts are for example say: First Orgasm, reposted and A Night in Grey Satin Sorry if they seem a bit wordy - I was in wanna be writer mode, lol.)

Nowadays I am kind of off the market, (at least in any respect other than virtually) although it doesn't stop me wishing I had a chance of another experience like that. I have noticed that in dreams and fantasies there is often a certain amount of learning and teaching between me and my Dream Lovers. Sometimes they are beautiful women of my own age or thereabouts, sometimes they are younger, sometimes we are both younger, lol. (I often find I seem to be about thirty in my dreams.) But nearly always the understanding between us is that we each need to learn about the other in bed. And I love that.

The blogger whose post I was reading had been asked by a much younger man if she would consider meeting, with a view to teaching him from the benefit of her experience. But she respectfully declined, saluting him for his openness and willingness to learn, but saying teaching young men about sex was not in her bag of kinks.

So here are my questions:

Why would an older woman not be interested in a younger man? (Other than simple preference and always assuming she liked him in another ways of course.)

What would it be about his younger age which would turn her off rather than on?

Could it be related to a desire to be with someone more capable - in the same way that sometimes younger women like an older man?

Or would it be more to do with the sheer number of years in a large age gap - making compatibility of interests and attitudes so much less likely?

I have met younger women (who may or may not have been interested in me) with whom I had so little common mentality that even sex would have been lacking in communication, and that would never be a turn on for me. But I have met others who were beautifully in tune with the way my mind works and I would like to have had the chance to learn and teach with them.

I suppose one thing which might worry me now if I was with a much younger woman would be whether I was still fit enough, still good looking enough, whether I could feel relaxed and sexy enough, whether I could get hard enough often enough to live up to my role as mentor, if such a role was required. But I think that is largely paranoia, lack of confidence and being a bit out of practice. I reckon in the right hands, if we clicked and she really wanted me, I would soon spring back to life!

So is that different for women?

To link to this blog (hotdreamer1000) use [blog hotdreamer1000] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Is it Time for a New Book? (16)Erogedyne
Dec 1, 2021 7:37 am
Introspective (9)Only_one_14
Nov 21, 2021 5:43 am
The Week's Highlights (9)HAMONMAN
Nov 17, 2021 6:05 pm
"Pony up" for Halloween? (7)BeccaLuvs
Oct 30, 2021 2:15 pm
Where are they all now? (21)Violette001
Oct 28, 2021 4:55 pm
That Thrill of a New Experience (19)Violette001
Oct 28, 2021 4:53 pm
How Could She Know? (11)Only_one_14
Oct 25, 2021 9:21 pm
The Time (9)missthee
Oct 20, 2021 12:21 am
Rough Fuck Fantasy? (7)Jules1590
Oct 6, 2021 6:52 pm
Heart Warming (16)lindoboy100
Oct 4, 2021 8:45 am
The Lust in my Soul (4)lindoboy100
Sep 27, 2021 2:11 pm