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Banging Consequences  

im_soaking_wet 39F
4301 posts
10/19/2020 2:23 pm
Banging Consequences


Post without errors, in the comments

A friend of mine recently let me cruise her online dating app. I had a fucking blast doing it! Right swipe here, left swipe there, a zombie game, random matches... a fucking blast!

Well, surprise! One of the matches I hooked her with, struck a convo and it went perfectly well. She went on the d was super nervous, had an excellent night with the guy and went back his place. The next morning, she heads work, he heads work and they carry texting.

Nothing outrageous, nothing sinister.... and then it changes.

Dude comes back and says... "so i just got tested and I have xxxxx. You should go and get tested as well."

My friend starts , freaking out because it went from that simple , " you must have given it ," and the blame game. I told her that I think it's important for him to have sent the first , but the second was uncalled for. She was mortified at the idea that she was "dirty."

Guys - it took a week get her calmed down. She went for testing and came back negative for the things, but the damage was done. For that time frame, she felt ashamed and angry at this dude.

When is enough, enough? I will fully admit, I get tested every months be the safe side and have never had a test come back positive (knock wood), but I'd like think I wouldn't be as petty as this guy if it did come back positive. We make the choice bang. We make the choice do it while knowing there are consequences those actions. We do it while weighing those consequences out.

I don't feel that his behavior and accusatory demeanor was acceptable. Am I wrong here? How would you tell someone about a positive result?

im_soaking_wet 39F
1024 posts
10/19/2020 2:24 pm

A friend of mine recently let me cruise her online dating app. I had a fucking blast doing it! Right swipe here, left swipe there, play a zombie game, message random matches... a fucking blast!

Well, surprise! One of the matches I hooked her up with, struck up a convo and it went perfectly well. She went on the date, was super nervous, had an excellent night with the guy and went back to his place. The next morning, she heads to work, he heads to work and they carry on texting.

Nothing outrageous, nothing sinister.... and then it changes.

Dude comes back and says... "so i just got tested and I have xxxxx. You should go and get tested as well."

My friend starts messaging me, freaking out because it went from that simple message, to "oh you must have given it to me," and the blame game. I told her that I think it's important for him to have sent the first message, but the second was uncalled for. She was mortified at the idea that she was "dirty."

Guys - it took me a week to get her calmed down. She went for testing and came back negative for all the things, but the damage was done. For that time frame, she felt ashamed and angry at this dude.

When is enough, enough? I will fully admit, I get tested every three months to be on the safe side and have never had a test come back positive (knock on wood), but I'd like to think I wouldn't be as petty as this guy if it did come back positive. We all make the choice to bang. We all make the choice to do it while knowing there are consequences to those actions. We all do it while weighing those consequences out.

I don't feel that his behavior and accusatory demeanor was acceptable. Am I wrong here? How would you tell someone about a positive result?


Skinfix 77M
180 posts
10/19/2020 3:05 pm

The fact that the dude tested positive and your friend tested negative indicates there was another source. The dude would have been aware that a different source was at least possible, so accusing your friend was uncalled for and was wrong.
Judge Wopner


benard69 64M/64F  
6298 posts
10/19/2020 3:21 pm

Sounds like Unprotected Sex is Alive and Well...


hotlover196348 59M
199 posts
10/19/2020 3:25 pm

Im not fucking unless we have a vaccine

I don't trust people.


Hardentongue 55M
27 posts
10/19/2020 3:54 pm

At least HE told her, there's alot who would just continue life and not let their casual partners know.


DoctorBooty 41M  
6426 posts
10/19/2020 4:35 pm

I might have worded it differently, and not been accusatory, but at least he did tell her.

At that point, if it was a one night thing or there was an undefined future, he probably knew there was no way to salvage the situation with her long-term and was less sensitive to how his text would be perceived.


lola2b4u 49T
53 posts
10/19/2020 4:59 pm

The blame-game is nasty! I believe it comes from people who think they are clean because they have no symptoms but don't get regularly tested & because they are in a relationship.....they fail to recognise that while they are cheating they are openly participating in "exchange"....after a "single hook-up" if you HAVE something then obviously it's the person you hooked up with who was at fault right? WRONG! Take responsibility folks....play safe or accept the outcome whatever that may be!


1seeking1 57F
3767 posts
9/23/2021 1:51 pm

It could have been worded differently. I remember once a condom.broke and I was quite stressed till I got results.


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