The Kiss
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Posted:Mar 27, 2016 2:18 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2016 6:45 pm
35042 Views
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Kiss me
Slowly take your time like there's no place you'd rather be
Kiss me
But not like you're waiting for something else,
like your hands beneath my shirt
or my skirt or tangled up in my bra straps
Nothing like that
Kiss me like you've forgotten any other mouth that
you've ever kissed
Kiss me with a curious, childish delight
Laugh into my mouth, exhale my sighs
Kiss me until I moan
Kiss me with your hands on my face
or your hands in my hair
or pulling me close into you
Take your time to savor my sweet lips
as though it were the first and last piece of
chocolate that you're going to taste
Kiss me until I forget how to count
Kiss me stupid. Kiss me silent
Come away and ask me what 2+2 is
and listen to me say your name in answer
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17
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Celebrations and Tribulations
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Posted:Mar 26, 2016 4:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2016 6:34 pm
33196 Views
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It's been an interesting week. Interesting in a sense that one day you can be celebrating a birthday and the next day you can be sitting in a room at an urgent care facility.
For those not "in the know" I turned 45 on Tuesday. I have some very good friends whom I used to work with that threw me a surprise birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant Sunday night. After dinner I attended a Cult concert with Julie and her boyfriend.
So far so good, right?
Monday afternoon a family that I work with unexpectedly busted out singing "Happy Birthday" to me during a family session. Totally had me in tears. Happy tears, that is. On my actual birthday, my work colleagues surprised me with cards, flowers and an amazing strawberry cake.
That evening I accepted a dinner invitation with a guy that I have been slowly getting to know. I say slowly because he has made it crystal clear that sex is not on the agenda for awhile. It's not his thing to jump into bed without establishing a connection. Dinner was good and we wanted to continue the conversation over a glass of wine and cake so we opted to go to my place.
He selected a black cherry pinot noir I had purchased but had never personally sampled to go with our dessert. We enjoyed the wine and conversation until it started getting late and forced myself to say goodbye which he gave me a HUG. Yes, you heard that right. Not even a birthday kiss. Le sigh.
The following morning I was showering and noticed an itchy raised bump on my neck. It resembled a mosquito bite but as the day wore on I began to see more of them popping up in various locations on my body.
My colleague asked me what I had gotten into and it was then I recalled drinking the black cherry wine the night prior. I guessed that I was having an allergic reaction and began self treatment with OTC oral and topical benedryl. Nothing seemed to help. The hives continued their assault on my body. I finally relented and went to urgent care yesterday.
The nurse practitioner chastised me for not coming in sooner. But I am stubborn like that. She gave me a liquid steroid medication while there in the office that nearly made me puke and said it would help with the itching- yay! I can finally get some sleep! She sent me home with an oral and topical steroid regimen.
I wonder if getting hives was an omen about seeing that guy again.
In any event, I am slowly getting back to normal. Tonight I am accompanying 5 girlfriends for a night out at a Dueling Piano Bar in Wichita. If you are in the Wichita area you should drop by the bar and say hi.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Xoxo, myelin
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13
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I Really Haven't Viewed You
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Posted:Mar 19, 2016 6:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2016 10:46 am
37906 Views
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Actus me invito factus non est meus actus "The act done by me against my will is not my act"
Just for fun I decided to check "profiles I've viewed." Imagine my (feigns surprise) shock and disbelief to see that the majority of profiles the site says I've viewed, I have not. I didn't even "scroll" over them. Some of these profiles clearly were not even in my set age range. A 70 year old man? Really?! So now the site can manipulate members to view profiles that clearly don't align with their preferences. Just another string associated with the site's free gold membership.
As a female member who gets a free gold membership, clearly nothing is ever free. The takeaway from this is if you are a female with a free gold membership and start getting emails from a bunch of men that clearly don't align with your preferences, it's the site manipulating your profile. If you are a guy and you see me in your "Who's viewed my profile list" it's a lie. I have my settings set to invisible so I REALLY haven't viewed you. Sorry to disappoint.
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25
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All Set For The Weekend
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Posted:Mar 18, 2016 11:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2016 6:52 pm
34304 Views
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Brrr! It's cold! I think I found a way to counter my mood. Wine and Chocolate! I am going to need it. My grandkids are having a slumber party at my house tonight.
I thought it was thoughtful that the winery included two cocoa dusted dark chocolate truffles attached to a bottle of black cherry pinot noir. Wonder how that's going to taste with the chili I am making for dinner?
How are you spending your weekend?
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17
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First Time Meets: A Double-Edged Sword?
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Posted:Mar 14, 2016 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2016 4:27 am
35940 Views
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So, I acted upon the advice of well-meaning watchers that responded to my last blog post Random that I should call someone or get together with someone to alleviate the loneliness that I felt.
A guy who has been a long-term member of the site, whom I have never met recently reconnected with me to inquire if I would be interested in having dinner. The stars never seemed to align until he emailed me yesterday. So, I accepted. He lives about 45 minutes from me but offered to drive here. I suggested several options for dinner and was fully prepared to go dutch even though he did the asking. He selected the place which by all accounts was a bit pricey but so be it.
Rule 1- I always meet a new person in a public venue so we met in the parking lot of the dining establishment. First impression was that he was obviously a very attractive man, someone whom I would consider fucking but obviously not on a first date.
Red flag 1: After knowing me for all of 20 seconds, he was very touchy feely- putting his arm around me, holding my hand, brushing his hand against my ass as we walked in the restaurant. Not cool. I tried to be classy about it so I made a casual remark about it hoping he would get the hint. Apparently not.
We had an enjoyable dinner. He was a great conversationalist and the conversation flowed freely. It wasn't awkward at all. I felt a lot of my values aligned with his, a good sign.
After dinner, he took out his wallet refusing to let me pay. I should have considered that Red Flag 2 although I suspect he was trying to be a gentleman, I also know that men often expect sex if they pay for an expensive dinner.
So we drove downtown and walked around. I showed him my office building. It was getting late so we headed back to the restaurant. He asked, "I hope the date isn't over." To which I replied, " Well, I guess we can go hang out and watch a movie at my house but be prepared, I have a cat." (Trying to give him an out).
Once back at my house, he again became handsy so I finally asked, "were you expecting me to have sex with you?" He stammered and replied, "I had no expectations." Really? I finally had to break it to him after he surprise kissed me and told me I was sexy that I truly didn't accept his offer with the intent on having sex. I said not on the first date but I am attracted and could see it happening on a subsequent date. Even though the words were delivered gently, it was like I had slapped him across the face.
Suddenly, he couldn't get out of there fast enough, like I had wounded his poor ego. Even after I sent a follow up "thank you- looking forward to seeing you again" text to which he never replied.
Guess it goes to show that when meeting a man for a "dinner date" that is actually guy speak for "I'd better get laid or I am never talking to you again."
Poor guy. I really would have fucked him. Last night really wasn't good sexual timing for me on several different levels. The emotional connection had barely had a chance to blossom which is a prerequisite for me to have sex.
So gentle reader, mainly I am directing this to the females that read my blog but guys can chime in too: what has your experience been with first meets from members on this site? Do you feel pressure from the other person to fuck? How do you gently let down a person without shredding their poor fragile egos to pieces? Was I wrong in how I handled the situation?
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19
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Random
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Posted:Mar 13, 2016 7:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2016 5:36 pm
37357 Views
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It's been a "meh" kind of weekend. My left to visit her dad on Friday and will be gone for five days. So, it's just me and Cee Cee (my cat). There are some weekends that I struggle with an all-encapsulating feeling of loneliness. This has been one of those weekends.
Usually I am able to get through it by heading outdoors and going for a run or working in my yard. However, the weather clearly has different plans. It's been cloudy, grey and intermittently raining off and on all weekend.
I've been maladaptively coping by eating things that are bad for me, spending a lot of time in bed reading and napping, watching movies that I have entirely no business watching when I am sad (think: chick flicks) and shedding a lot of tears. It doesn't help that I am PMSing.
Do you ever experience loneliness? How do you cope?
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17
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Birthday Swag
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Posted:Mar 5, 2016 7:10 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 4:48 pm
36023 Views
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Those who have read my blog for awhile know that one of my hobbies is running. Occasionally I compete in races. Over the years I've accumulated a lot of race medals. Twelve to be exact with another medal on its way soon. Displaying and organizing them has started to become a challenge.
Even though my birthday isn't for a couple of weeks, there is something that I have had my eye on for quite awhile but deemed it too frivolous to consider purchasing. Until now. I decided to buy a medal hanger to display my race bling.
The one I ordered has a tan vintage background with Vintage style black script. I realize some of you are rolling your eyes but hey, it's the little things that make me happy!
Bonus points to anyone who can name the movie where the phrase "Go the distance" is said. It's not a Disney movie, by the way. Here's a hint:
For those that haven't figured it out, I ALWAYS go the distance in EVERYTHING I do. Not just with running. 
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17
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Stuff
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Posted:Mar 4, 2016 5:19 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2016 2:26 pm
35194 Views
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I've been embarrassingly negligent with blogging lately. It's only the first week of March and a lot is going on in my world. My work colleague approached me about partnering in a new business venture and we've been working out a business plan and finalizing details to open a paint and bring your own wine studio. It's a little scary and nerve wracking. But we both enjoy art, and based on our research, we would be the only such studio within a 50 mile radius.
We have already been inundated with requests to book events. It's starting to feel real. We are looking to sign the lease next month if all goes well so keep your fingers crossed.
Also upcoming on my agenda- a birthday concert in a few weeks. Going to see the Cure. And more travel. Heading East in June. Plans are in the works to meet up with a blogger while I am in the area attending a family event for the week. I'm pretty excited about it. 
Another update- had a short term roommate that I thought was going to work out but he avoided me when rent came due so I had to get assertive and evict him. He moved out while I was at work and left me a huge mess to clean up and stole food out of my fridge! I guess I should be glad that the only thing he stole from me was food but nonetheless, I felt violated. I've decided to take a hiatus from renting out the spare room for awhile.
Alas it will be a quiet weekend. It would be nice to get together for some fun with a FWB but there is nothing remotely on the radar right now in that department. Unless of course a few of my watchers would like to volunteer to come for a weekend visit!
Have a great weekend.
xoxo,
{=} myelin
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12
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Nothing Glorious About Death
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Posted:Feb 28, 2016 7:22 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2016 3:13 am
41813 Views
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This blog is my contribution to The Seventeenth Virtual Symposium: The First Time. Disclaimer: this true story involves death and some shocking stuff. Proceed at your own risk.
I do not care what anyone says. No amount of law enforcement training can prepare anyone for the first time an officer gets called out to work their first homicide case. But before I get ahead of myself, perhaps I should back up and start from the beginning.
I have a lot of experience with firearms. My dad was a career law enforcement officer, rising up through the ranks to police chief. I grew up on a farm, exposed to firearms and listening to my dad share stories about his experiences working homicides. I joined the military while still in high school and spent the summer after my junior year in basic training learning how to shoot M-16 A1 and A2 rifles. While deployed during Desert Storm, I witnessed atrocities of war- seeing deceased Iraqi soldiers riddled with bullet holes as our convoy made its way through the Iraqi desert. Somehow, that did not bother me.
After I exited the military, I joined the National Guard and cross-trained as a Military Police Officer and was subsequently hired to work as a civilian police officer. During three months of law enforcement academy training, I was expected to qualify with my department issued weapon, a Sig Sauer 45 caliber. In spite of being issued such a powerful weapon, I managed to qualify with it during the academy. While there, we worked "mocked" homicides.
With my experience plus three months field officer ride along training, I felt more than adequately prepared to handle whatever homicide challenges awaited me as a rookie cop working the night shift. I mean after all, how likely would I reasonably expect to deal with death working in a small Kansas community of 45,000 people?
Death came knocking at my rookie door on a warm September night in 1994 one week after I graduated the field training program and started working solo. The alert tone on the police radio alerted all officers to a major crime in progress. I remember hearing the tone and when dispatch gave the address, I cringed and felt my adrenaline soar as it became clear that the crime was in my beat or assigned location.
Myself and numerous other officers responded to the scene with limited information. A shooting had occurred. No other details were known. I exited my vehicle with my weapon drawn and we set up a perimeter around the residence as the suspect was still inside the home. The shift commander ordered the suspect out over the PA system as officers awaited further instructions.
Shortly after being commanded out, the suspect exited the residence clutching a in front of him as a human shield that appeared to be about two years old. Her nightgown had blood stains on it. She was lifeless and blue. Behind him, his hysterical wife came out carrying their slightly older , also lifeless and bloody. Once the suspect was in custody and the scene cleared, I was assigned the task of interviewing the mother of the .
As a parent, my training had not prepared me for working this type of case. I had to separate my own parental anguish from the crime that had been committed. It was hard to fathom a parent could take the life of their own innocent .
Subsequent to the crime, all professionals who had worked the double homicide, including EMS, doctors, and medical staff had to attend a trauma debriefing by a police psychologist.
I continued to work other homicides and shootings during my four year law enforcement career but the memory of that first one still haunts me 22 years later.
Please visit Participants List For The Seventeenth Virtual Symposium The First Time and read the other contributions to The Seventeenth Virtual Symposium: The First Time
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18
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Site Shenanigans
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Posted:Feb 23, 2016 5:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2016 4:55 pm
36931 Views
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she·nan·i·gans
SHəˈnanəɡənz/
nouninformal
Secret or dishonest activity or maneuvering.
"Widespread financial shenanigans had ruined the fortunes of many"
Silly or high-spirited behavior; mischief.
I check my profile views, hotlist views and flirts regularly. Occasionally a profile will stand out that clearly does not align with my preferences. Case in point: on two separate occasions, I have received views from an alleged 19 year-old female "member" who lists her location as "states" Kansas. Her profile contains a variation of Mizzou in it. When I mouse over her profile it lists that she has one profile photo which is clearly a photo gleaned off the internet.
Here's where it gets interesting. I have tried clicking on her profile and my computer just sits there "thinking." So, I took it a step further and manually entered her screen name in the search engine. Nothing. Nada. Not even a screen that says "profile not available or turned off." Just white space like the profile simply does not even exist.
I'm aware that the site has fake/dummy accounts set up. I am wondering if this is the case? It's fraud if you think about it. Guys see this young, hot girl viewing their profile and think "wow, people are checking me out." I think it's another attempt to lure unsuspecting men into paying for gold memberships but why view MY profile?
Has anyone else had this problem?
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18
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An Ethical Question
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Posted:Feb 18, 2016 6:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2016 3:29 pm
38197 Views
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I read a blog this morning that raised some alarm bells. I get that many members who blog on this site are parents including myself. Even though I have a pretty cool , I would never blog directly about my or about any problems my may have. To me it's an invasion of her privacy. My has a right to privacy and as a parent, I have an ethical obligation to uphold that.
That being said, do you think it's wise or prudent to blog about your or their problems on a sex site? What do you think your might say if they discovered you had blogged about them on this site?
Just some food for thought.
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13
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To link to this blog (myelin36) use [blog myelin36] in your messages.
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