The Lingerie Drawer
Here it is! The place where you can take a peek and find out what's really underneath it all.

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But...... I actually like vanilla.
Posted:Jul 1, 2019 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2019 10:41 pm

Where are all the people who just plain old fashioned fun fucking??

Everyone has a fantasy. That's fine, but why not save it until we actually meet and see if we click. I mean it is possible that someday I may curl up in your lap and you . I might cops and robbers and let you pull me over and fuck me with your nightstick. I might sit across the desk from in the pretend principals office like the best naughty you ever saw. I might let you me mama and "nurse" you. I might do what ever crazy fantasy you cook up. I might.

But I might not.

The only I'm interested in playing is a horny middle aged woman who hates heels and lingerie and just can't have fun sex at home. My biggest fantasy is someone sliding his hand into the hair on the back of my head, pulling gently to tilt my face up for a kiss.

Seriously, that's what I crave. So before we break the toys and costumes and horrible fake accents, can we just try basic vanilla sex and see how that goes??
I am such a dirty girl!
Posted:Jun 30, 2019 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2019 5:38 pm

Seriously. I'm filthy.

The flower beds work had been neglected for a couple years. I adopted them as a weekend project. They are much, much bigger than they look. They were cleared yesterday and planted today. I am covered in such an amount of dirt I don't know I want to clean the shower after I wash. My fingernails need some major TLC. I am a little sunburnt. Every muscle in my body hurts. But for the first time in a long time, I feel right with the world. I made something new. I added beauty.

This is totally my second favorite kind of dirty.
I can't take it!
Posted:Jun 28, 2019 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2019 2:21 pm
I miss the rain dammit.
I honestly wasn't sure this would happen
Posted:Jun 21, 2019 6:46 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2019 3:45 pm

My youngest , my boy turns 18 today. There were times over the years that I was very doubtful I could keep the alive to this point. Between wrecking bicycles and rolling quads, jumping off 40 foot diving platforms when he was way too little, irritating his older sisters to the point of exasperation and downright brutal retaliation, and of course pissing his father off on numerous occasions, I really wasn't sure we would make it this far.

But, here we are. My is a man, in the eyes of western culture anyway. He is 6'7. Has a deep voice. Has to shave his face. Yet, he is my . I love all my fiercely, but he is the last. The last to take his first steps. The last to pat my cheek and tell me "I'll be ok ma" before he boldly charged up the school bus steps on his first day of kindergarten.

He has grown up so much in just the past few months. Due to rolling a quad, breaking bones and pulverizing ligaments and coping with recovery of both the initial injuries and subsequent reconstruction surgeries, and to be quite honest, his laziness, he did not graduate high school this year. Once it became apparent that he was not receiving a diploma, he at first had the expected "fuck it, i will get my GED" attitude. Within a few weeks though, he decided he does want a diploma. He wants to "do it right." Damn. Maybe he gets it. I dunno.

What really blows my mind, this , who is the most laid back, lackadaisical human on the planet. Who learned at a very early age that he was gifted with a charm and a killer lopsided grin that would combine to get him out of whatever trouble he got himself into, and if you're going to be late to summer school, you might as well stop and get donuts for everyone, you will be even later, but hey, donuts for everyone, is dead set on becoming a Marine. Both the Drs and the Marines expect that his injuries will heal allowing him to enlist. My , my sweet boy, a Marine. Oooff. That kinda hurts.

I feel like a parent should give their advice in potent moments like "big" birthdays. But I'm a girl, I'm not sure if the advice I gave my girls is appropriate for the boy . Things like "keep YOUR friends, you will all move and have families, but stay as close as possible to your friends, you lived through training bras and braces and first periods together, share the rest of your lives too" and to that liberal middle (god help me, a liberal) "You are NOT equal to a man, you never will be, and that's ok. If men and women were equal, there would not be both men and women, there would be wen or some shit, but not both. Men and women complete each other, you are far superior to men in some ways, and they are superior to you in some ways. Should you have equal rights? of course, are we equal? no." But now, with the boy, that doesn't feel like enough. What does a man/boy need to know? I will pass along any words of wisdom shared.

The best I could do was waking him this morning by serenading him with "simple man" by lynard skynard. I used to rock him to sleep to that song, he's known every word since he could talk, and he does a ass cover of it himself. Just keep it simple beautiful boy. You will be just fine.
Bad joke of the week.
Posted:Jun 19, 2019 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2019 2:43 pm

This old man and woman had been married for 30 years.

In those 30 years, the woman had always insisted on the the lights being off when they had sex as she was embarrassed.

The man was thankful for this as he was embarrassed too and scared that he couldn’t please her, so in the dark he always used a big vibrator on her.

After all these years of sex, she still had no idea that’s what he did.

day, she decided that they’d been together so long that there was no reason to be embarrassed even though her body was now old. So in the middle of sex she reached over and turned the bedside lamp on, see that her husband was using a vibrator.

She said angrily, “I knew it! Explain the vibrator!”

The man replied, “Okay, but first – explain the !”
Dream interpretor needed!
Posted:Jun 11, 2019 4:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2019 6:46 am

I had the weirdest dream last night....

I was driving down the interstate, and I came up behind a tri axle. We were cruising along, and then he a bump and a bounce pinky ball bounced right his truck. I backed off a little. We go a little further, he hits a big bump and here come maybe a half dozen bounce pinky balls come boinging at me. The fuck? I back off some more. He slows down. Traffic catches up and some douchecanoe in a tractor trailer decides to drive right beside me. Then! Oh my gosh! Then! The tri axles tailgate starts to crack open and like eleventymillion bounce pinky balls come pouring right at me. So I close my sunroof and turn my windshield wipers on and those bounce pinky balls are just going everywhere!

And then I woke up.

I know this dream is trying tell me something, but I don't know what.
I don't want to be your girlfriend.
Posted:Jun 10, 2019 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2019 4:32 am

But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I'm bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts directly at me?

Can you love me then too? Can you love me the starry , shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt harden over all the pomegranate seeds we've planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and them the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise , she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the .

If you want be safe, go back your tiny room the night is not for you.

If you want be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.

I will not you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep the cold.

I will you naked and biting. you clawing at the sheets. you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that bloom when no is watching.

So, come me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.

There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use make you great.

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.

She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.

She will see it that you shall rise again.

She is the lover restores you to your own wild nature.
What's your dream job?
Posted:Jun 7, 2019 3:37 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2019 4:34 am
This was an exceptionally sucky work week. I usually love my job. This week, not so much. On top of the usual cranky residents and the constant shift wars between my staff, I had to deal with lining up a rolloff dumpster and cheap labor force to deal with the aftermath of 3 1/2 feet of flood water in the basement. The highlight of the week may have been dealing with a new staff member who wants "all the overtime I get", yet "but I cant work those open shifts, I only want overnight." Well, ok princess, let me tell the supervisor to totally redo the entire schedule and move the others who only want overnights to other shifts so you can be happy. Gaaahh.

I have pretty much decided to turn in my boss and pursue my dream job. I want to drive a pilot car for oversize loads. Seriously. That's what I want to do.

If you could have any job you choose, what would it be?
What's on my mind?
Posted:Jun 4, 2019 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2019 3:37 pm
Everything is on my mind. Everything. All the time.,
The Invitation
Posted:Jun 2, 2019 7:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2019 3:38 pm

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for LOVE
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your Moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with Wildness!
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own Soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.” It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the .

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreamer
from the book The Invitation
Strange pussies
Posted:May 31, 2019 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2019 7:44 am
in for a wild weekend with not just 1, but 2 strange pussies.
No, not THAT kind, the furry kind. Oh wait, 70's sasquatch bushes are coming back I hear.
The kind that purr when you stroke them, oh wait...
Cats. cats. Cute teensy tiny cats.
My area was hard but flooding this week. Someone I know has a cat rescue, she took in 2 orphaned kittens on Monday, and her home flooded on Wednesday. She has to go of town for work this weekend, and her husband has to gut their house. She was near tears over what to do with the orphans. Being an animal lover, and a not so shitty person in general, I said "well, I can take them for the weekend, I've bottle fed orphaned animal before, even raised a pine squirrel once, his name was Fast Freddy." There were actual tears and long (too long) hugs and after work I went to her house and collected the kittens and supplies.
So my weekend plans are pretty sedate, but oh goooooodnessssss are they sweet!
Everyone's luck runs out
Posted:May 26, 2019 6:59 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2019 6:46 pm
Even the Irish
1 comment
In a nutshell
Posted:May 25, 2019 3:49 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2019 11:09 am
I'm not kidding.

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