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Train humans the animal trainer way...
Posted:Sep 5, 2007 1:09 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2019 7:03 am
169905 Views

Many people use the wrong technique to train others. This animal training technique works, as many have shown. A repeat of a previous post to save lots of pain and suffering:

Humans are animals and the methods of animal trainers work on people. So reinforce good behaviors and ignore the bad. Nagging does not work. Makes sense to me! Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative:

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage
By AMY SUTHERLAND
AS I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. "Have you seen my keys?" he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious over her favorite human's upset.

In the past I would have been right behind Dixie. I would have turned off the faucet and joined the hunt while trying to soothe my husband with bromides like, "Don't worry, they'll turn up." But that only made him angrier, and a simple case of missing keys soon would become a full-blown angst-ridden drama starring the two of us and our poor nervous dog.

Now, I focus on the wet dish in my hands. I don't turn around. I don't say a word. I'm using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer.

I love my husband. He's well read, adventurous and does a hysterical rendition of a northern Vermont accent that still cracks me up after 12 years of marriage.

But he also tends to be forgetful, and is often tardy and mercurial. He hovers around me in the kitchen asking if I read this or that piece in The New Yorker when I'm trying to concentrate on the simmering pans. He leaves wadded tissues in his wake. He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness but never fails to hear me when I mutter to myself on the other side of the house. "What did you say?" he'll shout.

These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted – needed – to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love.

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he'd drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

We went to a counselor to smooth the edges off our marriage. She didn't understand what we were doing there and complimented us repeatedly on how well we communicated. I gave up. I guessed she was right – our union was better than most – and resigned myself to stretches of slow-boil resentment and occasional sarcasm.

Then something magical happened. For a book I was writing about a school for exotic animal trainers, I started commuting from Maine to California, where I spent my days watching students do the seemingly impossible: teaching hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard.

I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.

I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything.

I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Enlightened trainers learn all they can about a species, from anatomy to social structure, to understand how it thinks, what it likes and dislikes, what comes easily to it and what doesn't. For example, an elephant is a herd animal, so it responds to hierarchy. It cannot jump, but can stand on its head. It is a vegetarian.

The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven.

Once I started thinking this way, I couldn't stop. At the school in California, I'd be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I'd be thinking, "I can't wait to try this on Scott."

On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept.

Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously.

At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked.

I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away.

In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott!"

It was only a matter of time before he was again tearing around the house searching for his keys, at which point I said nothing and kept at what I was doing. It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel.

Now he's at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. Then, sure enough, all goes quiet. A moment later, he walks into the kitchen, keys in hand, and says calmly, "Found them."

Without turning, I call out, "Great, see you later."

Off he goes with our much-calmed pup.

After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. I used to take his faults personally; his dirty clothes on the floor were an affront, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about me. But thinking of my husband as an exotic species gave me the distance I needed to consider our differences more objectively.

I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault." When my training attempts failed, I didn't blame Scott. Rather, I brainstormed new strategies, thought up more incompatible behaviors and used smaller approximations. I dissected my own behavior, considered how my actions might inadvertently fuel his. I also accepted that some behaviors were too entrenched, too instinctive to train away. You can't stop a badger from digging, and you can't stop my husband from losing his wallet and keys.

PROFESSIONALS talk of animals that understand training so well they eventually use it back on the trainer. My animal did the same. When the training techniques worked so beautifully, I couldn't resist telling my husband what I was up to. He wasn't offended, just amused. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. Far more than I realized.

Last fall, firmly in middle age, I learned that I needed braces. They were not only humiliating, but also excruciating. For weeks my gums, teeth, jaw and sinuses throbbed. I complained frequently and loudly. Scott assured me that I would become used to all the metal in my mouth. I did not.

One morning, as I launched into yet another tirade about how uncomfortable I was, Scott just looked at me blankly. He didn't say a word or acknowledge my rant in any way, not even with a nod.

I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Then I realized what was happening, and I turned and asked, "Are you giving me an L. R. S.?" Silence. "You are, aren't you?"

He finally smiled, but his L. R. S. has already done the trick. He'd begun to train me, the American wife.
45 Comments
Being good in bed...
Posted:Sep 11, 2007 11:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2019 8:35 am
165146 Views

My view is that the media and porn have sold people a false notion of what makes good sex! Being young and pretty or handsome is nice, but if you do not have the right stuff then the sex will be subpar.

So what makes a woman good in bed for me? Many things!

1. A sexy attitude is the key thing! She has to like herself, enjoy her body and enjoy mine. She needs to like kissing, stroking and playing. She needs some energy, some flexibility and the desire to enjoy sex and share pleasure for as long as we have! Being a passive corpse is deadening...

2. A little technique is great, but she does not have to memorize the Kama Sutra or try ninety positions. Five or six positions will do fine...

3. Kissing is important as it expresses affection and lust, and leads to intimacy...

4. Oral sex is fab for expressing acceptance of your lover's sex organ and for natural lubrication.

5. Stroking each other and using a vibrator can be very fun activities which transform foreplay into orgasms!

6. Being open to play is great. Being creative and trying new things can be terrific fun. For example, adding a vibrator on her clit while having intercourse can transform the sex into something even more amazing.

7. Having the woman suck on the man's nipples can be a turnon and show she is fun and not stuck on stereotypes about human sex behavior. Dirty talk, moaning and noises can be fun...

8. Having the patience to keep playing even after a few orgasms can allow both to really get into the sex. There are lots of fun things to try: G spot massage, fisting, standing up, using the bathroom counter top for a support surface, etc. Sometimes I enjoy playing with food, a dildo, foot massage, or trying different lubes...

9. A sexy woman is also willing to touch her own clit while we are having sex, or to masturbate in front of me. She also likes to watch me touch myself. Sex is best when the inhibitions are shed with the clothing...

10. Anal sex can be fun, with lube, taking things slowly and not being too pushy until the partner relaxes into it. Condoms make things more sanitary and safer. Have not yet had a female use a strapon on me, but that might be fun sometime! Anal is not a must, but only for those who enjoy it...

11. With the proper desire and attitude great sex is shared! Having a hot attractive bod and pretty face is great, but having a sexy attitude and hot desire for your partner is the key!
21 Comments
Kegel exercises for men and women!
Posted:Sep 7, 2007 7:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2017 4:25 am
163825 Views

Another important educational post worth rereading, as the sex life you improve is your own!

The PC muscles need strengthening for men and women to have the best sex! A repeat of an earlier blog to remind everyone to kegel regularly!

Kegel exercises serve to tone and strengthen the pubococcygeus or "PC" muscles which form the floor of the pelvis. The health of these muscles plays a vitally important role in sexual arousal and climax, as well as in other aspects of bodily functioning.

Why should men do kegel exercises regularly?

kegel exercises increase the bloodflow to the genital area, and so support sexual arousal mechanisms.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles that are involved in ejaculation, and so men who Kegel can, if they do some additional work with themselves, gain greater control over the timing of their ejaculations.

kegel exercises prevent incontinence and other problems that are often associated with aging.
Why should women do kegel exercises regularly?

kegel exercises increase the bloodflow to the genital area, and so support sexual arousal mechanisms.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles of the vaginal canal, and so women who Kegel can, if vaginal stimulation is their choice, and if they do some additional work on themselves, improve their capacity to orgasm by means of vaginal play, in terms of both the intensity and the frequency of their orgasming.

kegel exercises are essential to the treatment of sexual difficulties such as vaginismus and dyspareunia (pain on vaginal intercourse).

kegel exercises prevent incontinence, prolapses, and many other problems of the pelvic floor that are often associated with aging.

kegel exercises strengthen and tone the musculature of the pelvic area in a way that can make vaginal delivery during childbirth easier.
How do I find my PC muscles?

go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet (men, it is also a good idea to sit for this).

in the middle of your stream of urine, stop and start the stream several times. The muscles you use to do this are your PC muscles. At first, you may find that you are also squeezing your anal muscles; as you become experienced with kegel exercises, try to separate out the muscle groups that you are able to exercise by squeezing.
How do I do regular kegel exercises?

now that you have located your PC muscles, you can exercise them while your bladder is completely empty.

first, try squeezing your PC muscles as hard as you can for a count of three seconds. Then let them relax. To begin with, see how many times you can do this before the muscles feel tired.

now figure out a suitable exercise routine just as you would if you were trying to tone and strengthen a different muscle group by going to the gym every other day. For example, suppose you start by being able to do only five strong squeezes; try doing three sets of five once or twice a day for a week, and then try increasing this to three sets of eight strong squeezes.

if you work up to three sets of thirty or more strong squeezes, you are probably healthy enough for most purposes, and need only to maintain this level of fitness by doing these three sets four times a week (instead of once or twice a day).

we also recommend that you experiment by varying the type and timing of the PC squeezing you do as you train these muscles: slow clenches, many quick flutters, and so on. This will make you more familiar with these muscles ‒ notice also when your abdominal muscles or your anal muscles feel like they also want to join in the exercise.

remember, you should try to separate out kegel exercises from anal squeezing. If you are in doubt, go back a refind your PC muscle while urinating.

once you are skilled at kegel exercises, you should be able to do them without anyone else knowing what you are doing... boring meetings at work, tedious lectures at conferences, and other daily events all become opportunities to work quietly on improving your sexual health!
7 Comments
Why stay if the sex is inadequate?
Posted:Nov 1, 2007 11:12 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2014 5:04 am
165471 Views

Many cannot seem to wrap their minds around the concept of a couple staying together even if the sex is not sufficient for one of the couple.

As I have thought about this subject over the last decade or so, allow me to explain.

I am not trying to sell anyone anything. I do not crave your endorsement or ask for approval or disapproval. There is no need to judge me or condemn me.

From what I see most marriages have inadequate sex for one or both partners after a period of time. Ask around and see. Many marriages have little or no sex. Some enjoy other activities and some do not.

My marriage has some sex, sometimes not for a week or two, then sometimes once or twice a week. I share many things values with my spouse. But I desire hot sex daily, and many types of sex that she is unwilling to do.

I have no reason to condemn or reject her just because she is different from me. I accept her as she is and have given up trying to convert her to my way of thinking.

I also recognize that some crave variety and some do not. Some are willing to take a risk and some are not.

While many will condemn me for seeking what is considered "cheating" or "adultery", one can also look at the situation from the opposite point of view. I stick with a woman who loves me and I love, despite the fact that she is not providing me with the sexual satisfaction I crave. I have sacrificed my desires for many years, to please her and to make sure our son grew up in a stable household, which I believe is best to nurture a child.

I also do not agree with those who espouse total honesty with a spouse as that only hurts the feelings of the non-cheating spouse. She knows I have "strayed" and has forgiven my transgressions; "don't ask, don't tell" is what we both prefer.

Those who wish to be less discreet are welcome to do so, but in my experience most people cannot handle the jealousy and fear.

While some will condemn my dishonesty, another viewpoint is that I must bear the guilt and the secrecy to preserve and protect an illusion that is comforting to my spouse. I do what she prefers, even though she refuses to do what I prefer.

Freud noted that many times in human affairs there are multiple reasons that explain actions. Things are "over-directed" to the same conclusion.

I will also note that I stay for the companionship, because I am used to the situation, we get along well, we share many things including a son, and apart from the sex, many things are truly fine in our relationship.

One does not throw out a relationship that has only one failing, even if the failing is an important one like sex.

My cynical side also assumes that any other marriage would eventually also exhibit the same problem that monogamy engenders, boredom or a desire for variety of "strange" sex organs attached to a new partner.

Those who do not understand the above, please feel free to ignore it and withhold hostile rants. Those who can relate to what I am saying, feel free to express sympathetic sounds...
19 Comments
My distilled reasons for sex
Posted:Aug 6, 2008 5:17 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2012 4:52 am
160608 Views

The 237 reasons given to have sex seemed to have many repetitions and variations on the same idea. So I have distilled them down to 50 reasons, including a few new ones I added based on my experience and observations:

50 distilled Reasons to have sex:

Hospitality: Eskimos lend a wife to a traveler;

To gossip about: To have something to tell or write about;

Curiosity: curious about new lover, new position, what feels like, new gender, non-intercourse (anal, oral), multiple partners, bigger dick.

Health: relieve tension, headache, cramps, “blue balls”, burn calories, exercise, improve prostate, help fall asleep, stay warm

Self emotional state: feel powerful, want attention, act out fantasy, feel older, feel younger, feel better about self, enjoy life, get over an ex lover, to lose inhibitions, end virgin status;

Revenge: to get back at cheating mate, hurt an enemy, give someone a STD, make someone else jealous;

Work: to get sex off brain, so can work more;

Coercion: fear physical injury unless comply, pressured, verbally harassed, felt too guilty to deny other’s request;

Impaired condition: unable to control self because drunk/drugged;

Sex addict: compelled to have sex for psych reasons;

Love: to express love and affection to partner, become one with partner, feel intimacy, share the pleasure;

Avoid other tasks: to avoid chores, change topic of conversation, stop nagging;

Break relationship: end your own or break up another’s;

Alter status: end virgin status, rebel against parents/teachers, closure on relationship, lower your TSDates purity score;

Habit: expected to have sex with partner, so just do it;

Power: to dominate another, possess them, a conquest, submission or feel dominated;

Spiritual: to feel God, one with the universe, spiritual act, Tantric sex practices;

Obligated: feel duty to do it, married;

Punished: feel desire to be degraded and humiliated, or degrade other;

Pleasure: for fun, experiment with new positions or partners, for excitement or adventure;

Communicate: to say “sorry”, “thank you”, return a favor;

Celebration: for anniversary, birthday, for holiday, for big win;

Partner stealing: to trap someone, or steal another’s partner;

Sex identity validation: to reaffirm or test sexual orientation;

Reciprocate: to pay back for a fancy dinner, jewelry, gifts, money, to reward him for making me laugh;

Aroused: Aroused by partner’s looks, personality, good kisser, dancer, intelligence, humor, caresses

Challenge: A bet, competition among friends, dared, “out of league” success;

Mercy fuck: to lift their spirits, not want to disappoint them, help them forget problems ( “broken man” ) , feel sorry for problems;

Reproduction: want child, ovulating, genetic imperative;

Royalty: need male heir to pass on royal line, leave ancestral house or business to an heir;

Partner pacify: keep partner happy, make partner spend time with you, partner insist;

Social status: fit in with friends, to brag, initiation rite, hurt rep if said no, be popular, sex with a celebrity, notch in your belt;

money: for money, job or promotion, casting couch, return a favor or be owed a favor;

Married: obligation, duty;

Bored: filling time, thing to do, just happened;

Reaffirm life: after funeral or 9/11 trauma to feel alive;

Going to war: to feel alive, leave offspring, not die a virgin;

To affect partner: To make partner desire you, make partner envious, make partner feel good, relaxed, or sexy;

Make-up sex: to reaffirm bond after fight or end an argument;

Artistic inspiration: Sought experience for writing, painting;

Retain potency: use it or lose it;

To improve skills: Practice with more experienced partner to learn new skills;

Acting: in porn, movies or theater;

Lost control: intended to just kiss and got carried away, raging hormones, or felt too “horny” to stop;

To Swing: To please partner by swinging, or to enjoy an alternative lifestyle.

To allow partner to be a voyeur: to let partner see you have sex with someone else for partner’s gratification.

Leader ordered: In a cult and the leader ordered the sex;

Testing powers: To see how many orgasms each person could have in a set time period;

Nostalgia: to recapture youthful feeling;

To be able to harm someone: have sex so you can ruin partner's reputation or injure your own, or transmit an STD;

Daily sex: Minister suggested to improve relationship.
8 Comments
Easter bunny
Posted:Apr 22, 2019 3:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2019 3:31 am
46 Views

I read the Germans started the Easter hare and the egg connection to Christ. Seems there is a sex angle too. Rabbits are great at breeding which fits with the spring fling part of renewal in April. You knew there was a sexual connection... The eggs are a fertility thing too.
2 Comments
Easter
Posted:Apr 22, 2019 3:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 11:52 am
13 Views

I prefer the resurrection part, rather than the suffering on the cross and dying part of the Christ story. Much more hopeful and promising to me.
0 Comments
Russian meddling
Posted:Apr 20, 2019 5:10 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2019 3:21 am
60 Views

Clearly the Russians are fairly weak, but they punch above their weight by skillful use of cyber warfare. Trump lies about them. More than 9,400 lies since he became prez.

Trump was happy to get Russian help to win, but did not want to be discredited by their help. Also his ego could not accept that our main adversary thought he was less competent than Hilary, a woman.

Meanwhile what has been done to prevent a repeat in 2018 and 2020 elections? Damn little. Trump has been incompetent again. He lied about the problem, so no Federal mobilization to protect our elections at the state and local level. We are vulnerable.

Many Americans are being misled by Russian efforts again. Thanks Trump, maga be damned. What is great about Russians running the U.S.?

Vote Democrat and let the blue wave wash away Trump and the spineless GOP.
2 Comments
Attempted obstruction
Posted:Apr 20, 2019 5:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 11:52 am
30 Views

"The investigation also identified numerous links between the Russian government and the Trump Campaign. Although the investigation established that the Russian government perceived it would benefit from a Trump presidency and worked to secure that outcome, and that the Campaign expected it would benefit electorally from information stolen and released through Russian efforts, the investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities."

ON OBSTRUCTION
Mueller’s report: The "difficult issues" and the verbiage about not exonerating Trump appear at least three times in the report. The first time they appear is in the introduction to the volume that discusses the obstruction of justice investigation. They are later repeated under "conclusion" subheads.

The report states: "Fourth, if we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, however, we are unable to reach that judgment. The evidence we obtained about the President's actions and intent presents difficult issues that prevent us from conclusively determining that no criminal conduct occurred. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him."

He tried to derail the Mueller investigation but failed due to non-co-operation by aides.

Chaos, incompetence and lack of discipline saved Trump from committing the clear crimes he sought to commit. Nice to know negligence and stupidity helped save us.
The other two times "difficult issues" is in conclusion subheads that both say:
"Because we determined not to make a traditional prosecutorial judgment, we did not draw ultimate conclusions about the President's conduct. The evidence we obtained about the President's actions and intent presents difficult issues that would need to be resolved if we were making a traditional prosecutorial judgment. At the same time, if we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, we are unable to reach that judgment. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him."
Mueller’s report: Mueller’s report suggests other motives for the president’s conduct, including fear of investigation: "In this investigation, the evidence does not establish that the President was involved in an underlying crime related to Russian election interference. But the evidence does point to a range of other possible personal motives animating the President's conduct. These include concerns that continued investigation would call into question the legitimacy of his election and potential uncertainty about whether certain events—such as advance notice of WikiLeaks's release of hacked information or the June 9, 2016 meeting between senior campaign officials and Russians—could be seen as criminal activity by the President, his campaign, or his family."
0 Comments
Obstruction of justice?
Posted:Apr 18, 2019 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 11:52 am
264 Views

Mueller could not decide if Trump committed the crime of obstruction of justice. Sure looks like an attempt to derail the Mueller investigation.

Mueller’s report contains instances of possible breaches of protocol or legality. Mueller found evidence both for and against a finding of obstruction of justice.

The Mueller report noted, in June 20, Mr. Trump directed White House counsel Don McGahn to tell then-acting attorney general, Jeff Sessions, that Mr. Mueller had conflicts of interest and must be removed.

There was “substantial evidence” Trump fired James Comey as FBI director in 20 due to his “unwillingness to publicly state that the president was not personally investigation”.

Mueller's report said Trump directed former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski to ask Sessions to reconsider the decision to recuse himself from the probe and say the Russia investigation was “very unfair”.

Indeed, large chunks of Mr Mueller’s report detail the president’s efforts to halt the investigation into Russia’s alleged election interference and possible collusion.

When Sessions told Trump about Mueller's appointment in the spring of 20, after Mr. Trump fired Mr. Comey, Trump slumped in his chair and said, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I’m f*cked.” He then turned to Sessions and blamed him: “How could you let this happen, Jeff. You were supposed to protect me.” Trump added: “Everyone tells me if you get one of these independent counsels it ruins your presidency. It takes years and years and I won' t be able to do anything. This is the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

Such was the president’s determination to halt the process, he telephoned Mr. McGahn, who left the White House in October 2018, and asked him to intervene. McGahn told Mr Mueller’s team he was told by the president: “ Rod, tell Rod that Mueller has conflicts and can’t be special counsel. Mueller has to go. back when you do it.” McGahn refused to make the .

Still the 2020 election is going to be about Healthcare, the economy, global warming, free trade, immigration, and other domestic concerns. We already know the character of Trump.
0 Comments
Married?
Posted:Apr 18, 2019 7:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 11:52 am
500 Views

Why get married? I ask this questions of my green card seeking spouses to prep for the interview. The best short answer? Because you love your spouse. Works every time.

Not so good answer: the bundle of services you can get from your spouse, like home cooked meals, cleaning the house, sex, financial benefits, etc.

Marriage traditionally meant fidelity in the sexual area to your spouse. That is not a legal or cultural requirement anymore for some people. Swapping partners, open marriage and sexual flings seem to be so common as to be a normative alternative to fidelity.

When more than 50% of married people cheat, that is normal. You may not like that conclusion, but that is the statistical reality. Live with it.

So why marry? Good question. Many do not anymore. They live together, have kids, own houses and do not marry.

So is marriage dispensable? Not if you want a green card, lower taxes, unlimited inheritance, cheaper health and car insurance and about 2000 Federal and State benefits.

As well as that marital status thing. Some people like the feeling of commitment. Others not.

If your spouse makes more money than you, you can inherit the higher SS payment on the spouse's death, if they go first. A major benefit for some.

Marriage is not as popular as it used to be, but still fairly popular for various reasons.
0 Comments
Sex
Posted:Apr 18, 2019 7:22 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2019 3:25 am
656 Views

TSDates is advertising that it is a sex cite, meaning a place for adults to seek intimate sexual partners. You know the Hook up, find sex or meet someone hot now....

So I am a little surprised when men and women say here they are not interested in sex.

I am not saying only sex should be the goal. But ruling out sex?

As 50% of married folks do not have sex together, why not just get married for no sex?

So if you do not like or want sex why choose to advertise on TSDates?
5 Comments
Being rich or poor
Posted:Apr 16, 2019 8:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2019 9:30 am
599 Views

We lie to ourselves that our merit decides if we are rich or poor. Not true.

Having rich parents, living in a rich area, having a healthy body, having good energy, being born without genetic defects, avoiding toxic killers and criminals. These are all lucky results that are not caused by your individual merit.

Negative results are often not caused by your immorality either. We blame people for events that are often largely out of their control.

There are elements we do control. Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort chose to cheat on their taxes, lie to Federal FBI agents and lie to Congress.

People choose careers. The lowest paid college degree is in social work. Music and art are also low paid for most. Accounting, business and law along with medicine are well paid.

Wild speculators often make lots of money and then blow lots on risky deals. Most gamblers are not rich.

Slow and steady for years lead to the best result. Like Warren Buffett.

Most musicians are poor. Paul McCartney, Madonna and Mick Jagger are very rich....

They were talented, but also lucky. So do not take all the credit for your success or all the blame for your failures. Luck had something to do with it.
8 Comments

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