Hear From a Woman What Women Want!  

rm_highbrowkink 48M/48F
73 posts
12/3/2010 8:32 pm
Hear From a Woman What Women Want!

Astute readers may have observed that my last couple of blog posts have been a little … cutting toward the single men on this site. And I don't mean to be mean. Really, I have nothing against single guys. I need you. There is simply no way I or any other one man can fuck Annie as many times as week as she wants it. My dick would fall off if I tried. And I would miss my dick if it fell off; we go way back. We do everything together. In many ways, you could say my dick is my best friend.

So, I'm going to do something sincerely nice for the single guys. I promise. Just keep reading. I'm going to spend a little more time making fun of you first, if that's OK.

There are several reasons why the most recent posts were mostly jokes at the expense of you single guys. Firstly, it's simply a lot easier to get a humorous reaction by highlighting the worst in people than highlighting the best. Also, a lot of you guys really are kind of dumbasses (See how easy that was for me to set up? That's what I was talking about.). Some of you really seem to need the most basic level of help; being told to stop annoying the crap out of the women on this site. I don't know if my blog will help the bottom-feeders on this site get laid. But if it keeps Nicoletta from getting another email that just reads "Hey," or, worse, "I wrote you because you remind me of the ex-girlfriend I broke up with 6 months ago," it's worth it.

The most important reason I can get snarky with the guys, though, is that I don't care what they think. To help you understand what I mean, let me explain why I started writing this blog to begin with. I asked myself what attracts women to certain men and not others.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you are likely to hear three things: intelligence; a sense of humor; and a playful, spontaneous personality. This is why Steven Hawking, Buddy Hackett, and Pee-Wee Herman are the three biggest players of our time.

So, I wanted to attract the attention of more women, but I'll admit that I'm as clueless as any of you about what women really want. I know what they don't want, and that's my only advantage over the single men here. Well, that, and having the only set of keys to the chastity belt worn by one of the hottest girls on TSdates.com; I'll admit that may get me a tiny advantage. But it isn't as much of one as you would think; lots of people are willing to jump through a lot of hoops to get into Annie's pants, but most of them are guys. And, nothing against guys, but they don't really have anything of interest to me.

And, in the absence of any real knowledge about what women want, I decided to work with what I knew: what women say they want: intelligence, humor, and spontaneity. I know, this was a plan doomed to fail from the beginning, but a man can only work with the resources he is given.

I know I'm not spontaneous. When you see a new blog post here, it's because Nicoletta harangued me until I would've done literally anything to shut her up (Love ya, babe! ). It once took me a month to buy a new frying pan. I have to have a flowchart on hand to make pancakes.

But, what I lack in spontaneity, I can convincingly fake in intelligence and humor.

Now, I'm not claiming to be an intelligent man. But, to quote the Wizard of Oz, "Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma." And I did somehow trick a reasonably prestigious university into admitting me in lieu of the intelligent, hard-working, and ambitious students to whom they normally cater (Hi again, Nicoletta!). And I managed to keep my head down for four years, so that no one noticed I didn't belong there. And, at the end, they gave me a piece of paper with some Latin on it and some letters that can be put after my name. No, I don't mean "S.O.B." While personally I think my degree was B.S. (See what I did there?), I can spout academic-sounding nonsense with the best of them.

And as far as being funny — I must be funny. Annie and Nicoletta are always laughing at me.

Between my pseudo-intellectualism and my ability to make women laugh, I can convincingly simulate wit. Now, true wit is the perfect combination of intelligence, humor, and spontaneity. Fortunately, true wit is almost never encountered in blog form, so no one is able to distinguish it from my snarkiness.

So, yes, I've been writing a blog ostensibly aimed at single men, but I don't write it for single men. I aim my writing at women. Why in hell would I actually write for men? And, it's worked. I've acquired a sizable readership which is largely female.

But, as I said, I do need you guys. So, I'm going to do you two favors. Be sure to stay read this whole post and look out for the second favor; it's the big one.

First, instead of telling you what women hate about what you are doing, the next blog post is going to tell you what women like about you. Only, I'm not going to do it. As we've covered, I'm no expert ("Women like bloggers who can name-drop the Frankfurt Stock Exchange!"). When the ladies dislike something, they complain loudly about it, and I hear. Then, I intersperse what they say with some strange joke about hermaphrodites or William Howard Taft, and post it to the blog. When the ladies like something, they're a lot more subtle; so, I learn nothing.

So, instead of me telling you, Annie and Nicoletta are going to tell you, in blog posts they write (Annie's here, and Nic's over at [blog chc0981]). And, yes, this is the first time the ladies have actually heard they are going to be doing this. I like to keep them on their toes.

So, Annie and Nicoletta, your assignment is simple. Each of you must write a blog post about the things that attract you or pique your interest in a profile or in an email. This must include both things that are under the man's control (e.g., his behavior) and things that are not (e.g., his physical gifts). I want you to give the readers an insight into what turns you on about men. You have until the end of Wednesday, December 8th to get your blog posts done. Now, I can't force you to write the posts. But I will be administering spankings if they aren't done by the deadline. And you two know I'm serious. ?*

Oh, and just this once, could you two please humor me and pretend that the threat of a spanking is a deterrent instead of the exact opposite of a deterrent? Thanks. I appreciate that.

Female readers, you can get into the action, too, and I would appreciate it. Post what features attract you to a man on the site in the comments here, or in the comments on Annie's or Nicoletta's posts. We look forward to reading them. And, remember, the more insight you give single guys into what you like, they less annoying they will be to you later.

* * * * * * * * *

Now, my second and more generous favor to the single men. I'm going to give you what you want. You're here to get laid. And one of you will. I can guarantee that; you see, I have this wife who's kinda slutty and gets off on being submissive to me. So, I can pretty much pick one of you and tell her to have sex with him. And I will do just that.

Nicoletta, you are welcome to play this game, too. Just let me know. (Don't get excited, guys. She won't do it. I'm just teasing her.)

Now, this won't happen until next month. With the holidays upon us, we're just too busy until then. So, watch this space. And I do mean watch it. Go up to the top of this page and become a watcher. I'm not going to tell you yet how I pick the person Annie will fuck, but I'm going to give a little advantage to people who are watching my blog. Also, you don't want to miss your chance because you missed a post, do you?

To my regular readers, your next dose of what passes for witty insights (Suckers!) will be coming up soon.

rm_stuckinmfs 53M

12/3/2010 9:33 pm

"If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you are likely to hear three things: intelligence; a sense of humor; and a playful, spontaneous personality."

yeah, that's what they say they want. Those are a few 'non-shallow' categories and probably don't match up with what they actually go for.

rm_highbrowkink replies on 12/3/2010 9:44 pm:
Well, in your experience, what do you think women want?

rm_stuckinmfs 53M

12/3/2010 10:48 pm

"Well, in your experience, what do you think women want?"

looks, money, confidence (often confused with being an asshole or the anti-mr nice guy), someone that can be easily manipulated/kowtow to her whims

rm_highbrowkink 48M/48F
89 posts
12/3/2010 11:24 pm

    Quoting rm_stuckinmfs:
    "Well, in your experience, what do you think women want?"

    looks, money, confidence (often confused with being an asshole or the anti-mr nice guy), someone that can be easily manipulated/kowtow to her whims
OK. "Looks" strikes me as a little generic. Everyone wants good-looking partners. I think women, in particular, don't all agree on what constitutes good looks.

"Money" is certainly a factor in the real world, but I think less so here on TSdates.com, where it doesn't have as much effect on a quick hookup as it would on a long-term relationship.

The last two may be contradictory. I've previously said that confidence is important. Kowtowing to a woman's whims strikes me as a terrible idea, and one that is likely to turn her off.

Ladies, what do you think?

rm_stuckinmfs 53M

12/4/2010 10:56 am

the 1st reply doesn't make it sound contradictory at all and also supports point #2.

rm_highbrowkink 48M/48F
89 posts
12/4/2010 12:45 pm

    Quoting rm_stuckinmfs:
    the 1st reply doesn't make it sound contradictory at all and also supports point #2.

Between your responses and your profile, the ladies have started referring to you as "Bitter Guy." You clearly approach this site with an attitude that is very different than the one I espouse. My question is, does it work for you? Are you successfully and happily hooking up on the site? Because you certainly want to be, or you wouldn't be here. So, if it isn't working, I'd seriously change your attitude, whether or not it is based on what you believe to be true. You can't change what women want, so your only options are to change your approach to them or to stop approaching them entirely.

After reading your profile, Nicoletta believes you are looking for a fetish called "small penis humiliation," but are too shy to come out and say that. In her considerable experience, men interested in this experience rarely feel comfortable asking for it directly. I think that, if you want something (like abuse by women), you'd just be better off openly telling women that that is what you are looking for (instead of just trying to irritate them into abusing you).

I hope you have good luck here on the site, but I won't be approving any more of your comments on this post, since I specifically asked for women to use the comments section to say what they wanted. Thank you for reading our blog, and I hope you continue to do so.

Again, I'd like to encourage females to use these comments to give males some insight into what turns you on about our gender. Thanks!

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