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Ramblings of the depraved.....
Welcome to my blog!
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When you take your lunch and your coworkers have jokes!!
Posted:Feb 25, 2021 3:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2021 3:40 am
I came back from lunch today to discover Joey staring very intently at me and Phoebe looking off in disgust.

I laughed so hard I was certain I was going to piss my pants.

God help me.... But I love those fucking googly eyes!

This may very well be my new thing.... I'm going to have to buy myself some googly eyes.

In other news...

I had my quarterly self review with Boss #2 today.


I think you all know from previous posts just how MUCH I love those things! I can't think of anything more rewarding than discussing my ability to manage ambiguity and facilitate communication during the trying times of a pandemic!

I managed to exceed every metric for training, hiring, and retention that I was being held accountable for...

so of course I only got a rating of 'Achieving Expectations' for my review.

I love it when your boss sits there and sings your praise and thanks you for all the amazing things you do for everyone each and every day and then slaps you in the face with....

Achieving Expectations.

That whole... 'There's no room for improvement' philosophy is bullshit.

I'm just going to leave it at that.

Happy Thursday!
Hey You!
Posted:Feb 24, 2021 10:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2021 10:55 pm

Why....  Yes!!  

all means, please DO just randomly walk into my office while I'm on the phone and start loudly talking about work shit.

I just *love* it when people do this to me!

Makes my WHOLE day!!

What's that???

You didn't realize I was on the phone???


Keep right on loudly exclaiming how sorry you are to interrupt my phone conversation!  I don't mind at all....

Yah...  We all work with the fucktards that just don't seem to get it.  They are oblivious to everything and anything that isn't in some way directly related to what they are doing at that precise moment in time.  

Everyone Stop Everything!!  I'm in the room and I want your attention.

I don't often talk about the class division between the coworkers and the employees I work with.

To me?  They are all part of my team.  I work with and for them all in a lot of aspects of my job.  I treat them all with the same level of respect because, regardless of whether you are stocking a shelf or leading a department, you are necessary in our process.

Here's the thing though....

There are very noticeable differences between the peeps I call employees and the peeps I call coworkers.

The employees tend to be the ones who don't have any sense of decorum when it comes to office etiquette.  I hear about sex lives, bathroom moments, court cases, and pretty much everything I don't want to know about a person on the daily.  

What's that??  Your was caught shoplifting and you bitched out the loss prevention guy because he "should have warned him first"??  For fuck's sake...  You MUST take up the first 45 minutes of my day going over the blow--blow of what happened!  

Hells bells....

I didn't need to attend that mandatory zoom meeting on our new benefit structure.  Your story was SO MUCH MORE useful to me!

So, yes...  My guess is, if you are still reading my drivel today, you've figured out that I'm having a bad day.

My head hurts, and I'm so tired....  

You know it's bad when I'm sitting here in my office with the door shut to ward off the masses so that I may unleash my frustrations into my blog.  Even as I sit here now, typing away, the most annoying man on earth has parked himself out in the hallway outside my office so that he can carry loud conversations with employees who have shit to do and can't get him without having to politely participate in the conversations.  

He's looking for 3 pallets of sidewalk salt.

He's definitely going to find those pallets back here in the OFFICES!  

It's taking every ounce of strength to not open my door and yell at him to...

Shut the fuck up!

When its 40 degrees in the middle of February...
Posted:Feb 23, 2021 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2021 4:20 pm

After a week of zero temperatures.... 40 degrees suddenly feels like shirt sleeve weather.

I had to unzip my coat as I was headed to my car tonight because I was....

Get this...

Too !!

Hopefully this is a sign that spring has sprung and winter has crested!
The true test of bravery?
Posted:Feb 22, 2021 3:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2021 3:43 pm

Watch 'The Conjuring' in the darkness of your bedroom at o'clock night and you'll never be the same again.

Covers pulled up to your chin, afraid to move, searching the dark corners of your room for that hideous witch you'd just spent the last 90 minutes watching on screen....

Dear God... Do I hear something scratching? Is that a demon??

"Oh My God! That IS something scratching!!"

Throwing my feet over the side of my bed, ready to bolt for the door... The kitty reached from beneath the bed and hugged my ankles with her paws.

[Insert terrified scream here]

"What is going on back here?!?"

The Spawn was standing in my now open doorway watching me cover my with a pillow.

"Tilly scared ."

By now we were both laughing.

"No more scary movies mom! This can't be good for you."

"I think going to sleep with the cat tonight. I read somewhere they can detect evil spirits."

"I think I was adopted."

Turning on her heel, she headed back down the hallway to the living room. She was now laughing and FaceTiming her best friend, filling her in on her crazy mom's antics.

I may not be an 80's sitcom mom.... But it's never a dull moment around here.

One , she will have a hell of a lot of stuff to talk about with a therapist!

Happy Monday!
The Blue Ice Phenomenon
Posted:Feb 21, 2021 6:50 am
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2021 3:18 pm
Most of the readers who frequent my blog are not from Northern Michigan.

When I mention things that are regional to me, like natural phenomenon and geographic location, it can be lost on people.

For instance, the blue ice.

To me, it's something kind of cool that happens near where I live and I try to see it when I can because it doesn't happen every year....

This just happens to be a blue ice year!

The ice is actually kind of an illusion.... As, it's not really blue. When the ice forms, it's the lack of air bubbles and pure water that create the illusion when the ice sheets are pushed up to shore, allowing it to appear blue.

It really is a spectacular sight on a sunny day!

For those of you who sent me messages and wanted to know more, here you go.

The pic's are not mine, but they were taken within the last 5 days, I borrowed them from online.

Saturday Explorers
Posted:Feb 20, 2021 2:37 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2021 2:43 pm
The Spawn and I trekked out today....

Our original goal was to visit Mackinaw and take a peek at that blue ice.

Um, yah... That was a nightmare!

I didn't realize it was Winterfest up there. Not a parking spot to be had in the whole town of Mackinaw.

Instead we decided to drive down to Cecil Bay then swing around to Sturgeon Bay, finally ending up at the Petoskey Waterfront.

What had started out to be a beautiful, sunny day turned grey and overcast quickly, but I was able to get some nice pic's of our trip.

Looks like I'll have to pick a different weekend to see the blue ice... Hopefully it'll still be there.

I closed my eyes for a second....
Posted:Feb 19, 2021 4:46 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2021 3:22 pm
I didn't sleep well last night and ended up with a hell of a headache today.

You know the kind....

The kind of headache that you just KNOW from the bottom of your heart if you could just squeeze in a tiny little nap you would be a million times better.

So I decided to close my eyes for just a second on my lunch today....

I was sitting at a break room table and put my head down, resting my forehead on my arm, eyes closed.

Damn if that didn't feel amazing!

So amazing that, before I even knew what was happening, one of my coworkers was gently waking me up, asking if I was feeling ok.

"Hey.... You doing ok?"

"Um..... "

I lifted my head and slowly surveyed my surroundings.

Where in the hell was I....

"Um..... Am I at work?"

Yep, stumbling over my words too. Don't know about you guys, but when I first wake up, pretty much a zombie.

Especially if I haven't woken up on my own.

", don't hate me, but... You were snoring a little."


"If I weren't half asleep still, I'd be horrified."

I somehow managed to finish the rest of my work day with my head up and eyes open but the minute I got home from work tonight it was nap time for me!

I can't even express how much better I felt after getting a little sleep in.

I miss the days when I could sleep all night....

I miss the days when it was possible for me to sleep until noon.....

I just miss uninterrupted sleep in general.

Damn getting old is a bitch.
How have you been fairing the latest winter storm?
Posted:Feb 18, 2021 3:47 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2021 3:26 pm

Here in Northern Michigan, we've been pretty lucky with this latest storm. While it has been bitter cold.... We haven't actually gotten all that much snow.

Other areas haven't faired so well...

Hopefully you guys are all out there safe and well and not experiencing the level of damage I'm seeing the news and Faceplace.

Especially you Texans!

Got word from my cousin who lives in Texas yesterday that her pipes froze and broke and she's been without power for 3 days now.

Stay safe!!

Took this pic yesterday morning when I got to work.

Yah, I actually did pull out my big, wooly coat to wear to work yesterday... Before I even saw that meme.

Whoever created it was dead correct.

Happy Thursday!
Sleep with one eye open??
Posted:Feb 17, 2021 3:51 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2021 5:20 pm
The Spawn was feeling creative last night and spent the evening making a surprise for me.


When I got home from work and saw her with flour, salt, and a ball of dough in her hands I was a little concerned.

"What are you making?"


"Mmmm hmmmm..... Doesn't like nothing. Looks like a mess I'll have clean up."

"'s a surprise. Do we have cookie cutters?"

"Yes. Are you making cookies?"

"No, 's a surprise."

Giving her a little space, I set out make dinner.

"I need use the oven."

"Why the oven? What are you making?"

"I can't tell you, 's a surprise."

So, I let her use the oven.

Ultimately, I decided, if keeps her off her phone and occupied for the good majority of the night, it's a good thing.

By this point, I *really* wanted see what in the hell she's been creating!

Fast forward this morning.....

I'd let her be for the rest of the night and quit bugging her, heading back my bedroom watch tv all snuggled in bed. During that time she'd finished her 'surprise' and left on the stand for me find this morning.

Ta Da!!


Yikes.... While I applaud her creativity, I'm also a little concerned this thing is going come alive during the night and hack me pieces.

's a lil mini Spawn of Satan in a green tube top with purple hair.

I've watched enough bad horror movies to know, when this type of thing shows up in the scene, it's all over from . The cast starts getting picked off by , one by one.

I may or may not live see tomorrow... Wish me luck!

Happy Wednesday!
3 degrees below zero....
Posted:Feb 16, 2021 3:55 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2021 5:21 pm

And Apartment Complex Stud was holding his own out in the parking lot yesterday morning, warming up his truck.

"Have a good day."

"Oh my God, you startled me. I didn't see you over there. You have a good day too."

"Where's your snow brush?"

I was cleaning the snow off my drivers side window with my arm, my snow brush went missing when I had all the issues with my car two weeks ago.

"I don't know."

Mistake #1

This opened up the conversation window and he started to spew. I now know he works in construction, I know the company he works for, I know he is siding a house somewhere in Alden and it's about an hour / hour and a half drive.

My only comment during all that was, try to stay warm.

Mistake #2

I started to feel kind of bad for the guy when I was on my way to work. My ex husband worked in construction for years and years and I know how cold he would get. I wondered if he had hand warmers what he was wearing for gloves....


What was I feeling?? Was I WARMING UP to Apartment Complex Stud???

Banish those thoughts....

Oh good God.

On a positive note, it's officially Fat Tuesday and I can't wait to eat my Pazcki today!!

Better yet, the bakery girls asked for my help by name, so I'll be helping them out this morning.

Perhaps I'll even get to make my own Pazcki!

Happy Fat Tuesday Peeps! Enjoy your Pazckis!!
Dinner for One
Posted:Feb 14, 2021 2:38 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2021 4:50 am
Shredded crockpot enchilada chicken attempt... #2


I don't really know if you could call it crockpot enchilada chicken anymore... Since, the only ingredient I actually used from that first recipe was chicken. I didn't even use a crockpot this time.


It is the thought that counts, right?!

I decided to go rogue this time and make it up as I went along. It actually turned out pretty tasty. Kinda proud of myself.

I cooked the chicken in the instapot for 45 minutes then drained and shredded it up. I had enchilada sauce, and had planned on using it, but decided instead to use taco seasoning and taco sauce to cook it up for an additional 10 minutes.

It was my last attempt that led to my discovery that I don't like corn tortillas, so this time I bought flour.

I laid the tortillas out, added my chicken, my cheese, my sour cream, my white corn and black bean salsa....

Um, yah. What started out as enchilada chicken quickly turned into chicken tacos.

But they tasted amazing!

Good enough that I didn't feel like a great big, giant loser, sitting on the floor in my living room, eating tacos with a paper towel bib while I watched reruns of Family Guy on Valentines Day.

Yah! I know I'm not the only one who spent their day doing this.... I might be the only one willing to admit it though.

Hopefully you all got to spend your Valentines Day doing exactly what you wanted to do too.

Happy Valentine Day!

And now, a little food porn.....

Another riveting Saturday night at the complex....
Posted:Feb 13, 2021 3:04 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2021 11:30 pm
Tensions are as a new White Trash Baby Mama has moved in next door!

The hallway smells like pot, her rug rats trample through her apartment non stop 24-7, and she has ALSO decided she is the new owner of the handicap parking spot.

Mrs. Wolowitz is having no part of that!

This could be a new reality series....

Parking Spot Wars

Who will be the victor?? Who will have to walk an additional ten feet to get into the building???

It's anybody's guess!!!

Personally, since neither of them have a handicap plate, I don't think either of them should be parking there.

But, I digress....

In other news, the on-again / off-again relationship between Apartment Complex Stud and his wife appears to be off-again once more. I was actually pretty certain he was evicted last month when I saw the eviction notice taped to his door.

Yet, he still remains!

He's got the 9 lives of apartments.....

fairly certain this is the THIRD time I've thought he was gone to have him rise back up from the dead, like a tattooed phoenix in a rusty black truck, hitting on chicks in the parking lot and asking strangers how they like his truck.

It's a mystery.

As for yours truly, it's the same old, same old. I actually feel pretty good a the moment right now, though....

Spent the pampering myself a little. Charcoal mask, foot creams, white sand, sugar scrub in the shower from head to toe... A nice long soak in the tub.

Just what I needed, I think

I haven't been feeling all that good about myself today, it would have been my 19th wedding anniversary if I were still married.

In an odd twist of events, my ex husband actually asked on a date for tonight.

Some things just aren't meant to be, and that's one of them, so I said no. I can't keep making all those same mistakes over and over again.

For now, I'll settle for a nice Saturday in, smelling like coconut and cucumber, watching gritty crime shows with the kitty.

The return of sandpaper feet....
Posted:Feb 11, 2021 9:40 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2021 1:58 pm

Sounds like a bad sequel.

"She vowed never let it happen again.... It vowed it's ugly return! In this battle of good and evil, who shall prevail??"

Uh, yah.

Between trouser socks for work and pretty much neglecting my poor little feet for months....

Sandpaper feet PREVAILS!


In my half asleep, half awake st tonight, I rolled over in bed allowing one foot to be exposed in my tangle of bedding. Not wanting my foot to get cold, I planned on using my toes to drag the comforter over a little to bury my foot back beneath it.

What happened next was the stuff of nightmares.

The sound of my rough heel grazing across the comforter sent chills down my spine.

Good God!

It was like Velcro strips slowly being ripped apart. Nails on a chalk board would have sounded better!

This is going to take some work and a lot of TLC....

Wish me luck!

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