What would happen if?
|
Posted:Dec 19, 2020 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2020 2:48 am
17799 Views
|
Life is about choices...
Some good, some bad.
I'd like to think I was one of those people that always make the right choices....
Based on knowledge and experience, that don't leave you second guessing and feeling doubt.
Um, yah...
You've read enough of my blog posts to know that sometimes this is true, but sometimes I'm just a nitwit bumbling around through life.
I started my day yesterday by burning my tongue with hot coffee.
Bad choice #1
I hadn't slept well the night before and Thursday was kind of a long, emotionally draining day for me, so I was starting my day already exhausted.
Fantastic!
I breathed in the the fresh brewed aroma and immediately took a sip of my coffee.
The lasting effects of that decision still plague me.
I should have known this would be the precursor to the rest of my day, but at this point, I was choosing to see the positive side of things.
The KFC luncheon would soon tarnish THAT pipe dream....
I had vastly underestimated the amount of food people would consume and ended up way short on food.
Bad choice #2
After watching more than one employee grab a pot pie, a mashed potato bowl, and 2 sliders, I realized I worked with a bunch of fucking pigs.
Who eats that much food in one sitting???
Nobody does, that's who.
People were grabbing food to eat AND bring home with them.
Are you kidding me??
In a half hour span we went through 30 pot pies, 30 mashed potato bowls, and 30 sliders.
I ended up having to place another order for 30 more mashed potato bowls and 30 more sliders only to have them gone within a 45 minute span as well.
In a moment of weakness, I ended up venting to Nose Hairs about how I had gotten into it with the Wicked Bitch of the West over the luncheon and then had to ask her to go pick up MORE food for the employees.
Bad choice #3
Never vent to your coworkers about your real thoughts and feelings. Now they have leverage over you that they can keep concealed until it becomes useful to them at some point in their future.
Especially when you are venting about their boss...
He ended up being supportive and telling me not to worry about it, and I found myself looking up into his eyes while I was vehemently whispering to him that his boss a fucking bitch and thinking to myself, if he weren't my coworker and didn't have a live in girlfriend, I could really like this guy.
Bad choice #4
Stop those thoughts immediately.
When it comes to men, I'm a fucking moron. The bad choice meter is going out of control and the sound of bells dinging is deafening.....
Even my ex husband was a bad choice for me.
So, I ended up spending the night with Bad Choice #5.
It was a comfortable, familiar feeling.... Even though it's been a while since I had last seen him.
And, damn! I'd missed having sex!
The Downstairs Nightmares heard more than just my snoring last night....
But, alas, Bad Choice #5 really is just... a bad choice.
Aside from sex, he has no interest in me.
Even though I've lost hope, deep down, I really do still wish I could find that right partner in crime. Dare to dream...
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
It's a Kentucky Fried Friday....
|
Posted:Dec 18, 2020 3:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2020 6:21 am
18112 Views
|
The company I work for has invested a lot of money on employee luncheons and benefits through the entirety of the virus.
While I know employee retention is one of the main reasons, I feel they also realize just how emotionally and physically taxing this whole thing has been for us all...
Us being the essential workers who have come into work each day during it all...
Us being the essential workers who have to deal with the shit head, proving a point non-maskers who try to breeze through our doors and create a scene when asked to wear their mask....
Us being the essential workers who have to explain to customers why we don't have the products they are looking for even though "It's in the ad!!"
Us being the essential workers who wake up with a headache or cold-like symptoms and are required to call into work and miss a day of pay because 'what if it's COVID'?!?
It's funny, though, to see what perks and benefits garner the most attention from the employees.
While the $300 bonus at Thanksgiving and $300 bonus for Christmas were amazing, it's actually some of the food days that have caused the most excitement.
And, today's food day has been one of them!
I had been chatting with a counterpart of mine at another store on Wednesday, finding out what food days they had done to get some ideas for my store, when she mentioned KFC.
Honestly, it wasn't even a thought for me.
KFC? Fast food??
She's said they had been easy to work with and it was a win because food didn't have to be individually packaged and their employees seemed to like it.
So, I presented the idea to Boss #2 yesterday and we decided to go with it.
I was traveling around the store putting postings up to let the employees know we would be doing a KFC food day today and it had gained attention immediately.
"Really?? We're doing mashed potato bowls?? Oooh! I can't wait!"
"Oh my god... I love their pot pies!"
"I haven't eaten there in forever..."
It made me smile to know that something as simple as a pot pie could make someone's day.
Even I was one of those people who were like, OMG! I can't wait!!
It's also been forever since I've eaten KFC as well!
Here's to a happy Kentucky Fried Friday!
-
|
|
|
22
Comments
|
|
Let's play a little game.
|
Posted:Dec 17, 2020 3:48 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2020 3:48 am
18356 Views
|
When did I become that person who is so excited about their new vacuum purchase that they can't wait to get home to use it?
My 18 year old self is cringing in horror....
Old Reliable had actually not been performing the way I like for quite some time, I just didn't realize how bad a job she was actually doing.
The moment I got home last night I put the Hip Young Thing together and immediately set out to vacuuming the apartment.
I was a with a new toy!!
Let me tell you, I wanted to just DIE when I saw the stuff that was being pulled out of my carpet.
And, that's no exaggeration....
A hair ball had formed at the top, by the filter, that was about the size of a baseball. Both the Spawn and I have long hair but I had no idea how much hair we shed.
The dirt bin??
Full! Dust... Fuzz.... Particulate matter.... God knows what else....
In an exaggerated gesture, I pulled the collection bin from the vacuum and set it on the counter, calling out to the Spawn to see the horrors I was seeing. When I pulled out the hair ball I threatened to throw it at her while she was recoiling in disgust.
"Oh My God Mom! That's waste hair. Yuck!"
"I wonder how long it's been hanging out on the floor?"
"Some things need to be left a mystery."
I'd say the Hip Young Thing was the smartest purchase I've made all month.
Happy Thursday!
|
|
|
28
Comments
|
|
Monumental Icebreakers
|
Posted:Dec 16, 2020 3:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2020 2:50 am
16824 Views
|
I shake my head in disbelief sometimes...
I get that this is a sex site that is ultimately created to put person one into contact with person two for the purposes of adult fun.
Isn't that what we're all really looking for here?
But, here's the thing....
For the most part, I don't know the people who send me messages from Adam. I'm looking for an adult friend, a partner in crime.
Not some fucktard who is having lunch in Gaylord and wants a quickie.
I get these messages and think to myself, on what PLANET does this guy think that "Hey, I'm in Gaylord" is going to wet my loins and have me panting at his feet for the chance to have him slide his penis inside me??
Sight unseen!
For the most part, even if you do find someone you click with and think you may want to meet in person, they tend to back out at the last moment anyway... The power of cold feet has a tight grip.
I am always amazed, though, at what some guys send as an initial icebreaker.
So, here you go folks... I've decided to share with you...
This week's top five monumental icebreakers.
5. hi hru *Yah, I prefer not to speak acronym*
4. I am in Gaylord for lunch today. *Imagine that! So am I.*
3. How can I get with you. *A miracle.*
2. My wife joins sometimes. *Good for you!*
Drumroll please!
1. I'd like to give you an injection. *screenname 'covidfun4u'*
|
|
|
25
Comments
|
|
Drunk with power?
|
Posted:Dec 15, 2020 3:45 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2020 3:19 am
16817 Views
|
I started my day, yesterday, with an employee crying her eyes out in my office, accusing me.... "You threw my lunch out. I come in on my day off, I work my heart out for this company, and you threw my lunch out."
I was late for and didn't show up to the 9 o'clock meeting.
"I'm really sorry this happened to you, but I'm not the one responsible for cleaning out the fridge....."
"I worked my whole shift yesterday and didn't even get a lunch, I left it in here for today because I knew I was coming in today."
Her voice was trembling and she was hurting. I felt so much sympathy for her.
"Did you have your lunch dated? Like I said, I didn't have anything to do with cleaning out the fridge..." It was Boss #2 and her two side kicks.
"I just don't know how you could do this to me."
Oh my Fucking God! IS SHE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!
I KNOW that the Tyrannical Triad did not purposely throw out her lunch just as I know that she was only venting her frustrations at the first 'Person with Power' that she came to...
But, goddamn, this was NOT how I wanted to start my fucking Monday.
The worst part of the whole situation was the fact that the Triad had cleaned out the fridges and left the mess for her to clean out.
So, not only is she upset that her lunch has been lost, but she's going to be spending the next hour wiping down and cleaning up the fridge that had housed it.
I was headed up front to get a gift card to cover her Pyrex container and the cost of her lunch when I crossed paths with Boss #2 and Sidekick #2.
"[Upset Employee] has been in my office crying and yelling at me because we threw out her lunch. I..."
"Well, she should have date dotted her lunch."
Cold hostility from Boss #2.
"She's telling me she did and now she doesn't have a lunch. On top of that [Sidekick #3] tasked her to wipe down and clean out the rest of the mess."
"Jesus Chris..."
Sidekick #2 shrugged her shoulders and the two kept walking.
I was at a loss and this set the tone for the rest of my day. Its moments like these that reveal a person's true character...
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
|
|
Is this happening with anyone else?
|
Posted:Dec 13, 2020 5:22 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2020 5:05 pm
15434 Views
|
I find myself in a huge rut.
My weekdays are filled with the monotony of work shit.
Nose Hairs in my office talking about dogs, places to visit on vacations I will never take, and the workplace gossip that I may or may not have heard. An endless sea of new faces in forms of hiring, faces that I have no hope of remembering names half of which will be gone before I even get a chance see them twice. Bitchy customers who have spent too much Christmas and take it out when 'the price is too high'.
Those are my favorites!
Anymore, my weekends are a fun sponge of their own....
Going nowhere, doing nothing, streaming movies and tv shows while the cat stares at from its perch the chair. (Just as she's doing at this very moment.)
Even my creativity is being sapped.
I find it challenging be witty and charming in my funny little blog posts.
Even as I'm writing this, at 8:19 in the morning... There is a barking in the hall way and Apartment Complex Stud is telling someone "Fuck You" while someone else is arguing back....
And I'm not compelled turn it into a funny "only where I live" post.
Instead, I'm angrily mulling away in my mind the fact that I ordered new work shoes from Amazon Prime on December 4th and I just received an email saying...
'Oops! Sorry they are late! Your order should arrive on December 10. If you have not received it by December you may file a complaint and request your money back.'
Really??
Here's the kicker!
The tracking info shows they were checked into the Gaylord postal terminal December 9th.
They've been in my town for 4 days.... It's already the th!! But have somehow managed not make it onto my door step.
It's a sad state of affairs.
|
|
|
18
Comments
|
|
Office Ettiquette
|
Posted:Dec 12, 2020 5:02 pm
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2020 3:38 pm
15456 Views
|
I was in my office adding the finishing touches to the training board when New Guy showed up in my doorway.
"So, you know how I told you my wife ordered those sliders yesterday?"
Clip.... Clip Clip....
What the hell?! Is this guy casually leaning in my door way, clipping his fingernails??
"We ended up getting 2 orders of fries, 4 pops, and sliders for $25. It was $4 extra for cheese."
"That's an amazing deal! You showed me one of the sliders, it's almost the size of a regular burger."
Thank God I wear glasses, I was dodging shrapnel. He wasn't even clipping them into a waist basket... Trudging through fingernails just doesn't seem as quaint and charming as trudging through peanut shells in those trendy pubs.
"I know. Well worth the deal! It's take out only, because of the executive order, but it would be worth the drive to just get out."
Which leaves me to wonder... how friendly is *too* friendly when it comes to office comfort zones?
I know I wouldn't just show up in my coworkers office and let the fingernails fly...
But, that's me.
On a related side note... I totally want to try those sliders! He showed me one of the ones he brought for his lunch and the thing looked amazing! It really is a fantast deal, I just have to remember what restaurant he got them at.
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
Sleep tight.... Don't let the bed bugs bite.
|
Posted:Dec 12, 2020 12:11 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2020 4:25 am
14750 Views
|
I was talking to one of the cashiers today when he pulled up his sleeve to scratch his arm.
What I saw was horrifying!
I glanced at his arm and saw a series of blistered bumps up and down he wrist, definitely extending up the length of his arm even though I could not see it.
"Holy crap, what happened to your arm??"
Yah, not as tactful as I could have been....
"I stayed in a bad hotel. They're bed bug bites."
"Wait, what?!? For real??"
"Yes. I've got over a hundred bites."
Trying not to recoil in horror, I did step back a few steps without thinking about it.
"Good lord... What hotel chain was it??"
I may never stay in a hotel again.....
He got called up to a register so I never did hear what hotel chain he had stayed at, they are all suspect to me now.
And after researching bed bugs tonight, they always will be!
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
Kitty 1 - Blouse 0
|
Posted:Dec 11, 2020 3:59 am
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2020 5:08 pm
14619 Views
|
It was almost like a scene from Kung Fu Masters.
And.... Action!
I enter my bedroom lotion my feet and put on my socks when...
From out of nowhere!
Tilly!!
Perched on the tv stand next , she glided through the air, feet first, landing my shoulder, sinking her nails into my shoulder to steady her land.
I was shocked and disabled.
" My Fucking God!! What was that about?!?"
Screaming out, wracked with pain, I look down see the tassled tie string my blouse in her mouth.....
She attacked for the tie string!!
Tossing her off onto the bed, I spun around to take a look at myself in the mirror on the back of my door.
Blouse ruined!
Where she had landed was a series of pulled threads and two tiny little holes on my shoulder.
Egads....
Note to self... Do NOT cross this ferocious little feline!
TGIF!
|
|
|
13
Comments
|
|
Office Girl Extraordinaire
|
Posted:Dec 10, 2020 3:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2020 2:35 am
14049 Views
|
I put together another luncheon for the work peeps today....
Ever wonder exactly what it would be like to serve steaming hot Mexican food to 240 people?
Let me tell you!
It's the 9th circle of hell!!
By hour one my hands were gross and itchy from the latex gloves....
By hour my hair was sweated my head and my mascara was everywhere except for on my eyelashes....
By hour I was certain I was dying a slow, miserable death....
Pre-COVID-19, this type of luncheon would have been buffet style not requiring a server at all.
Oh how I miss those days!!
Thankfully I had Deputy Don help through a lot of it. I'm certainly going miss him when he transfers his new store...
Luncheons just won't be the same!
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Unmasked
|
Posted:Dec 10, 2020 12:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2020 3:19 pm
13465 Views
|
I was in the break room today when one of my recent new hires came in, sat down, and removed his mask.
It was lunch time, after ....
And, as I sat there eating my own lunch, he started a conversation with about something I don't recall.
What I do recall is, just how different he looked without his mask!
until that point, 3 weeks into working with this guy, I had never seen him without his mask .
And, it was mind blowing!
" my God, I don't think I've ever seen your face before."
It was like an identity unveiled....
He laughed and, for the first time, I could actually see his smile.
"I know, these masks kind of ruin things."
I miss being able see peoples faces, their expressions, their smiles. I never realized just how much of a lip reader I was until I could no longer see lips during a conversation.
I long for things be somewhat normal again....
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
How was my Monday?
|
Posted:Dec 8, 2020 3:41 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2020 11:52 pm
13635 Views
|
I think this pretty much sums it up.
I had seen the post-it the moment I got to work today....
It was RIGHT in the middle of my monitor, Stevie Wonder couldn't have overlooked it. What I didn't know was, 7 hours into my day I would open my desk drawer and discover the spider of all spiders.
And, I would scream at the top of my lungs, instinctively recoiling in horror as I propelled my desk chair across my office, covering my eyes.
It was a sight to behold!
Thank God I had a crowd of people around me to witness the spectacle. It was fantastic!
I have yet to figure out who the culprit was... But my handwriting analysis has begun!
On an unrelated side note: If you look closely at the pic with the post-it note, right above it, on the Google home page, it says to visit grasshopper to learn beginner Spanish!!! Big Brother, I'm telling ya!!
|
|
|
21
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (secret_lade) use [blog secret_lade] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
11
|
21
|
31
|
41
|
5
|
|
61
|
71
|
81
|
91
|
101
|
111
|
121
|
|
131
|
141
|
15
|
161
|
17
|
181
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
| The Shot Heard Around the World (33) | md46guy
Mar 14, 2022 6:58 am |
| TGIF! (15) | justskin1
Feb 25, 2022 6:34 pm |
| In an unexpected Valentine's Day twist.... (37) | CL_Love
Feb 17, 2022 8:41 am |
| I'm betrayed. (23) | citizen4722
Feb 14, 2022 12:50 pm |
| We all have that one coworker.... (27) | boobwhisperer69
Feb 13, 2022 1:29 pm |
| Feel that icy chill? (28) | citizen4722
Feb 13, 2022 12:18 pm |
| Phone calls from Don Juan.... (23) | pagancountrygirl
Feb 11, 2022 4:34 pm |
| You know it's been a rough night when.... (27) | Unzipmeslowly51x
Feb 11, 2022 3:01 pm |
| Now you see it, now you don't. (24) | Unzipmeslowly51x
Feb 10, 2022 2:28 am |
| 5 Things NOT to do in an Interview (31) | Solmich45
Feb 9, 2022 8:29 pm |
| A Blank Screen (9) | pagancountrygirl
Feb 8, 2022 5:24 pm |
|
