Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
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What are all the cool girls doing on a slightly rainy and overcast Saturday?
Posted:Aug 7, 2021 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2021 4:04 am
6074 Views

They're doing laundry and watching Freddy Kruger terrorize Elm Street.... in the first 4 movies of the Elm Street franchise!

Yah, I'm a little surprised I've invested that much time into it, too!

I was on my last load of laundry when I pulled one of Boot Camp Boy's t-shirts out of the washer, it must have been buried in my hamper unbeknownst to me.

Just when you think you're doing ok.... You suddenly realize, nope! You're not.

In my minds eye I could see him wearing that stupid shirt and the realization that I will never again see my boy as he once was reduced me to tears.

Nobody every talks about how hard it is to let your go....
19 Comments
It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, but dammit! I see stars!!
Posted:Aug 6, 2021 4:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2021 11:15 pm
5894 Views

Finger placement.... It's key!!

All week I've been trying to catch up on my filing. Two huge piles of shit to be imaged and to be filed had sat on my desk, taunting me like a rotten .

I'd had enough and decided today was THE day!

So I set to work putting together all the new employee files with the required documents and started to file them in the cabinet one by one.

I was on number five when the earth stood still and my life changed forever.

My left hand was placed flat against the filing cabinet while my right hand slid out the drawer. Discovering I had grabbed the wrong drawer, I needed the one beneath it, I slammed the drawer I'd been pulling open shut.....

Right onto my middle finger on my left hand.

The pain was instant as I stared in horror at my finger, still inside the the drawer, a big red spot already forming under my nail bed.

Stumbling a little and attempting to take a step back, I did indeed see stars. The moment I opened that drawer back up the tears sprung to my eyes and I barely contained a primitive howl.

That hurt like a bitch!

All I can say is, thank God it's Friday.... I don't think I could make it through another workday this week.

Happy Friday!
20 Comments
Conversations with Nose Hairs
Posted:Aug 5, 2021 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2021 8:15 pm
6331 Views

I can honestly say.... They aren't always the most professional.

Not sure how we'd gotten onto the topic of cremation, but I'd revealed to him that I had looked inside the box that contained my mother's ashes after I'd retrieved them from my father's apartment when he died.

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, I'm just nosey like that. I wanted to see what they looked like. They're all contained in a sealed bag, it's not like they're all loose in there."

"What if someone put googly eyes in there, like it was looking up at you?"

"What person in their right mind is going to put googly eyes on someone's cremated ashes?"

"You!"

I laughed pretty hard.... Mostly because I now totally wanted whoever it is that ends up cremating me one day to put some fricking googly eyes on my remains, inside the box, so anyone who dares to be curious gets a nice nice little surprise looking up at them when they open that box!

"It's official, that's going in my will!"

Everyone loves a googly eyed surprise!

Happy Thursday!
35 Comments
It's a fruit fly horror story.
Posted:Aug 4, 2021 6:39 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2021 3:55 am
5756 Views

I got home from work today to discover my kitchen was overrun by fruit flies.

"What the hell is happening here?"

I set my purse down on the counter and the kitchen disappeared in a cloud of black.

Well.... Maybe not quite that bad....

But, it was bad enough that I was looking around to see where the source of my infestation was coming from.

Any fruit sitting anywhere??

Nope.... Check!

Anything in the garbage that would draw a fruit fly??

Nope.... In fact, the flies weren't even in the garbage. Check!

Unwashed dishes creating a breeding ground??

One dried up plate, one dried up fork, a coffee cup with a swallow of coffee and 15 dead fruit flies floating in it, but no breeding ground. Check!

It was during my inspection of the sink that I did discover, though, the fruit fly infestation is likely originating from my sink drain!

Uh... Yah.... totally disgusting.

I know what that means when you have a septic tank and well water. That means you have to get your septic pumped.

But, what does that mean when you have city water and septic???

I ran a ton of water down the drain then put the stopper in the sink but I'm not sure what to do about my swarm.

What do you do with a swarm??

Name it and start charging rent?

Wait until their dead carcasses fall from the air and sweep them into the trash?

Do they crawl into cracks and crevices and disappear from sight??

These are questions that are haunting me right now.

For the moment, I'm avoiding my kitchen, naming my new room mate Brock, and trying to decide how much rent to charge before their lifeless bodies start littering my counter.

Happy Wednesday!
27 Comments
The Douche Canoe strikes again!
Posted:Aug 2, 2021 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2021 6:09 pm
6205 Views

Apparently the fact that I haven't changed my profile is getting under Kingkai's skin....

Today's message states simply

Sooner than later please
8/2/2021 7:16 am


Who is he to decide what I do and do not state in my profile? When did this asshole become the foremost authority in human sexuality?

I'm taking a break from meeting therefore I MUST be a lesbian.

He's acting like a dick, I guess that makes him a dildo....
20 Comments
Boot Camp Boy Update
Posted:Aug 2, 2021 3:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2021 3:30 pm
5668 Views

Seven weeks down, five to go....

I've been keeping my eye on the rental situation near Parris Island, the Spawn and I will need several days simply for the fact that we are driving there and driving back. When there are a thousand other parents and family members that will also be doing the same thing, I didn't want to be left without lodging.

I noticed on Friday that everything is starting to be scooped up....

So, I scooped up our lodging as well!

It's official folks, the Spawn and I are taking a road trip!

I'm hearing word that it's possible I may get to take Boot Camp Boy home with me for his 10 day leave and I'm super excited. Up until now the COVID restrictions in place had the new marines leaving directly after boot camp to their specialized training school....

But I'm seeing in some of the recruit parent threads that parents have been notified they get to take their marines.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Either way, whether I get to take him or not, this Momma Raptor couldn't be any prouder of her .

Happy Monday!
19 Comments
Sunday Comfort Food
Posted:Aug 1, 2021 9:10 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2021 5:06 am
6743 Views
Homemade Pizza

Growing up, homemade pizza meant good times.

Birthdays, get togethers, pick-me-ups on a bad day.

Seeing as how my posts are disappearing now with the new 'community', I'm sure this is a waste of my time..... But on my tablet it has not yet updated and I still have access to the old format.

Thought I'd share my homemade pizza on my bad day.






Happy Sunday!
40 Comments
On today's installment of 'The Spawn Chronicles'....
Posted:Jul 30, 2021 2:11 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 3:56 am
6182 Views

I woke up way to early this morning.

Ugh.....

I hate when I do this. I'll get part way through the day and want to just pull out a pillow and take a nap.

The problem with waking up this early is that any hope of falling back to sleep before my alarm goes off is slim. And, if I do fall asleep, I will have only been asleep long enough that I won't want to wake back up when I have to.

I'll be crabby, tired, and an all around JOY to be around.

So I usually just stay up when this happens.

What does this have to do with the Spawn?

I was milling about this morning, trying to decide what shower gel I wanted to use with my shower this morning, when I pulled back the shower curtain to see what I currently had in the shower.

Imagine my surprise to find Barbie dangling from the shower head with a shoe string around her neck.

Yep, it was a jump scare.

Not only did I scream but I also jumped back about a foot.

"Oh my God! What a shit!!"

On the shower wall next to Suicide Barbie was a note that said... 'Aren't you glad I'm home now.'

Never a dull moment.

Ever.

Happy Friday! TGIF!
22 Comments
And the 'Sweet Talker of the Week' award goes to.....
Posted:Jul 28, 2021 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2021 5:43 am
6847 Views

Kingkai

For sending me THIS lil gem as an icebreaker.....

Straight women looking for a man.... but your taking a break from the meat market. So update your profile then butch!!!!
7/28/2021 8:31 am


Oh, but you make my heart swoon with those magical little words.... My pussy aches between my parted thighs at the mere thought of you....

Said no woman ever you fucking ass hat!

May you catch syphilis and go mad.

Happy Wednesday!
21 Comments
Someone scrub my eyes with Drano!
Posted:Jul 27, 2021 4:03 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2021 3:44 am
10944 Views

Cause, I'm having a hard time unseeing what I just saw....

I was standing up at the front of the store waiting for an applicant when I watched a very large man pull up to the door and hoist himself off the motorized cart he had been riding around in.

Oh dear God....

Apparently his jeans were unable to completely cover his ass while in the sit down position as his hairy, naked ass was exposed to the world in the bend-over position.

I can't fucking look away....

Hiking up his drawers as he stepped away from the motorized cart, I'm certain I saw his scrotum flopping around between his open legs from behind.

"Hey. You gonna put this thing where it goes? It's slow as fuck, you might want to charge it."

Yah, he was looking at me.

"Sure. Leave it there, I'll see that it's taken care of."

We'll just drive that thing around back and set it on fire....

Cause that seat is forever tainted.

Happy Tuesday!
42 Comments
Let's play a little game.
Posted:Jul 26, 2021 3:33 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 3:58 am
7958 Views

We'll call it...

Pain Reliever or Laxative??

I was sitting in the break room at lunch today, glasses off, rubbing my temples when coworker said to me....

"Are you ok? You look like you've got a headache, I've got some generic Motrin in my purse. Do you need one?"

While I usually turn these types of offers down, I truly trusted this person and knew they were concerned for me and genuinely wanted to help.

My head was killing me, so I happily accepted the offer.

I held out my hand and she placed a couple of pills in my palm as we started chatting about weekend plans and whether or not we were ever going to be fully staffed.

Odd......

I looked down at my palm expecting the generic Motrin to look more like.... Motrin. Instead of little orange tablets I was holding little white ones.

Finally deciding it was just my eyes playing tricks on me without my glasses on, I tossed the pills into my mouth and swallowed them down with a gulp of water.

"Oh, don't take those! I think I accidentally gave you laxatives!"

She was holding two pill containers in her hand. One was a generic brand Motrin, one was name brand Motrin.

"Wait... What?!?"

Yep, you guessed it. For some reason she had put a couple of laxatives in the name brand Motrin bottle and tossed it into her purse. I swallowed down not one, but TWO laxatives on my lunch at work.

Yah... This is the absolute fucking reason I don't take stuff given to me by other people!

"Oh no, you already took them."

You could hear a pin drop in that room.

"Fantastic. I've always wanted to shit my brains out in the public restrooms at work. Everyone else does, why shouldn't I?? This is going to be an interesting afternoon."

As luck would have it, I managed to make it through the rest of the work day unscathed....

I'm still waiting for the inevitable shit storm to to rear it's ugly head.

Wish me luck!
32 Comments
Sunday Morning Review
Posted:Jul 25, 2021 7:13 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2021 3:00 pm
7088 Views

It's been a while since I've done one of these....

I found a movie called 'Spawn' this morning. Unable to stop myself, I've turned it on and started watching it.

Let's just say.... It is NOT a cinematic masterpiece.

Egads

My biggest question is, how does this Spawn hear when his ears were burned off in the fire? There aren't even any ear holes.

Truly bewildering.

All I can say is, my Spawn.... Much, much cuter than that Spawn.

Yikes!

On the home front I have a brand new set of horrible downstairs neighbors, once again. I don't necessarily think it's the neighbors that are horrible as much as it is the White Trash Mom that is always there. I haven't seen them, but I know it's a very young couple expecting a baby.

Today the Mom had her music blaring at 7am while she sat on the patio, smoking, talking with someone on a phone about how she brought her blanket and pillow and decided to just stay the night.

Fantastic!

I bought the Tilly Cat a new gravity feeder a couple of weeks ago so I would be able to just leave for a day or two if I wanted to and know she would be fed and watered adequately.

I'm a lil worried I'm going to be seeing her on a TLC show called 'My 500lb Cat' before long!

Every time I turn around she's at the feeder munching away.

As convenient as it is to just fill it up and forget about it for a while.... I may just have to put it away until those times when I do plan on being gone for a day or two.

I'm not prepared to house a cat that needs an Amigo to go from it's food bowl to the litter box.

On the work front, Boss #2 has begun to exhibit a heinous case of BO. I'm certain it's due to the fact that she wears the same three blazers every day of the week, and I'm also certain these garments do not get laundered.

If given the opportunity, I think they could stand up in the corner by themselves, no human needed.

My God woman.... Get these things dry cleaned!!

Cripes!

On the personal front, I spent my weekend 'in' this weekend. It was a dark and stormy day yesterday.... The perfect day for naps and housecleaning, which I did both. I do love to look around at my clean apartment while I relax, it is definitely one of the better feelings in the world.

And, with that, I'll put this Sunday review to rest.

Happy Sunday!
11 Comments
It's 1:30 am.....
Posted:Jul 23, 2021 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 4:00 am
7558 Views

Of course I'm wide awake.

I'm sitting on my couch with the Tilly Cat purring in my ear, Joaquin Phoenix is traipsing through the woods outside 'The Village' on the TV.

I had kind of a shitty day at work today.

It seems like all of my days are kind of shitty anymore, though....

I am experiencing an unending funk that I just can't seem to shake.

You know that feeling you get when you are keenly aware that everything is changed, that nothing will ever be the same again? I feel that with my life right now and I'm having such a very hard time with it.

Not even the beach is bringing me peace anymore.

I am mourning the absence of my Boot Camp Boy so VERY much. I am pissed off at my father for dying and leaving me with a fucking mess take care of after 38 years of being absent from my life. I am hurt by the Hippie, someone I had once thought of as a best friend and partner in crime, who used my deep seated insecurity against me in my moment of weakness as I reached out him.

And I feel alone in this world.

I tell people a million times a day.... It will be ok.

But, I'm going be completely honest here....

I don't think it will be ok.
33 Comments

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