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Choices  

secret_lade 48F
14251 posts
11/10/2021 12:29 am
Choices


Right or wrong, we make them every day.

Every day... We live with the consequences as well.

I talked to the Hippie on the phone on Friday, probably a bad choice on my part. He had texted me and told me the Mighty Marine and I had inspired him to make some positive change in his life.

I was curious.

Turns out the positive change was giving up marijuana.

Not because he wanted to.... But because he was penniless and could not afford it. He went on to tell me about how he had spent nearly all of his money for years on marijuana and he now regretted it.

I kept it to myself, but this pissed me right the fuck off.

Really?!?

And, in that time that we were seeing each other, and he was always broke, and I was always paying for everything.... It was because he spent his money on drugs.

The worst part was, he was perfectly OK with expecting a struggling single mom to pay his way through everything.

I listened as he went on to tell me that his family has completely abandoned him and he has gone into survival mode, living on one canned good a day and collecting firewood in the woods around him because his dad did not have any firewood sent out to his house this year.

"You might be taking care of me and [the Spawn] this winter. Everyone has abandoned me."

Did he really think he was going to slip that in there?? And that I would say yes?!?

"Nope, just [the Spawn]."

"What was that?"

"I said just [the Spawn]. You're a grown man, it's time to act like it."

There was a long silence as he realized I wasn't about to just take him in and fix his problem.

I went on to ask him if he's been looking for a job and where he has applied.

He's applied nowhere.

The same old story about how he owes money for student loans and old credit card bills and now the government for collecting unemployment when he shouldn't have been started coming out..... I'd heard it all before.

"Stop. You've got to quit doing this. This is NEVER going away so you might as well get a job and deal with the garnishments."

Another long silence.

This man chose to burn all those bridges with his family. He kicked his father out of his home and threatened to end his life, what did he expect?

It kind of takes away that feeling of obligation to support your loser .

This man has probably been spending thousands of dollars year after year on wood deliveries for the Hippie because he knew the Hippie wouldn't be doing it for himself.

He was correct.

This year is proof in point.

Winter is upon us and he is completely unprepared.

There was a time when I though the Hippie had promise and hope, that he would turn things around and get back on track.

It took me a while to realize, this was never going to happen.

Even now, as he's hovering around rock bottom, he's still trying to find that next meal ticket instead of getting his shit together.

I felt some closure when I ended that call.

I will probably not know how he fares this winter or if he ever finds a job, my communication with the Hippie has reached an end. I do hope he will finally open his eyes and get his life on track.

He is the only person that can do that for him.

secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:22 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Your analysis was a bleak one.
    But hang on a sec, how many times have you said, "This is the last time I'm speaking with him?" 😶
    I understand; having hope for a person you cared for is a tricky thing to give up.
    Ya think he, maybe, perhaps, kinda — sorta — might veer towards the right lane? 🤔 ❓
I don't think he will. I've known him for 10 years and he's only managed to get worse year after year in that time. He subscribes to the philosophy of.... Those that have owe it to take care of those that do not. When I was on the phone with him I had mentioned a few things of mine that he still had and stated I wanted them back.

You know what he said??? One was a True Detectives dvd series....

"You already said you would never watch it again. Why do you want it back?"

"Because I bought it, I own it. It was expensive. You just can't keep stuff because you want it, it doesn't belong to you."


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:17 am

    Quoting CUMHANDLEME:
    The hippie will more than likely never change.
I don't believe he will ever change, either.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:16 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    It's very difficult to help a person if they don't want to help themselves.
    I'd be fuming if I found out an ex was spending my money on non-essentials while they were with me!
Oh I was hot, believe me. I couldn't believe my ears when he was revealing that stuff. I had felt bad for him back in those days and had constantly told him he needed to find a new job as I was believing his dad was not paying him enough. What kind of loser purposely manipulates a single mom like that? He knew I didn't get any childsupport for any of the kids and that I was doing it all on my own.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:13 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I know some guys like that and it amazes me that some women will support them while they breeze thru life.
I figure, if I can work my ass off to give my children and myself a better life, so can any man that's in my life. I refuse to support someone who just chooses to not work. You know if the situation were reversed they wouldn't be supporting my ass.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:07 am

    Quoting  :

He has definitely become a total loser.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:06 am

    Quoting countryqueen1:
    Sometimes you just have to admit you can't fix someone.
So true.... so true....


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:06 am

    Quoting lickeyzsplit:
    Can only hope for his sake he gets his shit together! We live in a time where there are plenty of resources for misguided individuals ie Homeless to get food and some help ! I do feel bad for them, but We are Masters of our own destiny for the most part !They can Sit and feel sorry for themselves or get it together and build a life !! Just my 2 cents ? Hope all goes well
You are 100% correct, we are masters of our own destiny! Right now, all he's doing is feeling sorry for himself and doing nothing to remedy the situation. It's all up to him.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 2:04 am

    Quoting 69ereatwetpussy:
    You are so right
    He's a Leach
    A user of people
    Get a real job and stand in his own to feet
    Show you he a man
    Then he has changed
    You did right don't back down.
    You can do it with kids
    He can do it for you.
    Xoxoxo have a wonderful day go enjoy the wild life.
I stopped seeing him a few years ago.... Because I know I deserve someone who is hardworking and wants a better life, like myself.

Oh, guess what! I saw the bunny yesterday when I got home from work! He came hopping out from behind my shed and sat there to say Hi. LOL Crazy, but I was excited to see him.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:57 am

    Quoting  :

Not going to lie, I don't see him changing. He'll suffer just long enough until his dad feels sorry for him, and sends him money and deliveries of wood. He lives right next door to his mother too.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:51 am

    Quoting CL_Love:
    I have no patience for people that won't help themselves. It is one thing for those that truly can't - the feeble minded, severely physically handicapped, etc. But in this day and age, no excuse for not just working hard and making do. Plenty of people desperate for workers.
In Michigan, EVERYONE is desperate for workers, no lie. You can get a hiring bonus and retention bonus, making twice the minimum wage in a fast food job right now. He is choosing to live the way he is living, pure and simple.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:47 am

    Quoting citizen4722:
    He only has himself to blame. I do hope he can turn things around but, you're right, he has to do it on his own.
This is a tough lesson he needs to learn. He's been living off of everyone for years, this has been a long time coming.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:46 am

    Quoting boobwhisperer69:
    He needs some tough love baby!!!!! And he got it!!!!!
Yes he does. He's a grown man in a situation of his own creation. He can deal with it.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:45 am

Yes he did.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/11/2021 1:44 am

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    "Turns out the positive change was giving up marijuana. Not because he wanted to... But because he was penniless and could not afford it."
    I'm sorry, but that's not change. Not when he admits it wasn't something he wanted but only because he could no longer afford it. And to tell you that you and your Marine son were the inspiration for that....yeah, sounds really good. But it's a load of bullshit. Also, to think you would be taking care of Spawn and him. WTF??? She's your 13 year old daughter and a minor. Where the hell does he get off thinking you'll just....what....finish raising him? Maybe he should consider filing bankruptcy to help with the debt problem, then get some counseling to help pull his head out of his ass.
    He may not have anything else to his name, but he's damned sure got some huge brass balls thinking you'll support his sorry ass.
You expressed every single thought I've had. I told him years ago when we first met that he needed to file for bankruptcy. At that time, he was working for his dad under the table, which he did for quite a few years until his dad retired, and he just scoffed at the idea. He is in a position of his own creation and I don't feel sorry for him. He chooses not to get a job. He willingly created all of that debt for himself. He burned all of those bridges himself.


DyingAlone951 43M
9 posts
11/10/2021 11:03 pm

Damn he fucked up......


pagancountrygirl 65F
6466 posts
11/10/2021 1:55 pm

"Turns out the positive change was giving up marijuana. Not because he wanted to... But because he was penniless and could not afford it."
I'm sorry, but that's not change. Not when he admits it wasn't something he wanted but only because he could no longer afford it. And to tell you that you and your Marine son were the inspiration for that....yeah, sounds really good. But it's a load of bullshit. Also, to think you would be taking care of Spawn and him. WTF??? She's your 13 year old daughter and a minor. Where the hell does he get off thinking you'll just....what....finish raising him? Maybe he should consider filing bankruptcy to help with the debt problem, then get some counseling to help pull his head out of his ass.
He may not have anything else to his name, but he's damned sure got some huge brass balls thinking you'll support his sorry ass.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


boobwhisperer69 59M  
8322 posts
11/10/2021 9:57 am

He needs some tough love baby!!!!! And he got it!!!!!


citizen4722 64M  
74582 posts
11/10/2021 9:14 am

He only has himself to blame. I do hope he can turn things around but, you're right, he has to do it on his own.


CL_Love 50M/49F
425 posts
11/10/2021 7:49 am

I have no patience for people that won't help themselves. It is one thing for those that truly can't - the feeble minded, severely physically handicapped, etc. But in this day and age, no excuse for not just working hard and making do. Plenty of people desperate for workers.


69ereatwetpussy 60M
6778 posts
11/10/2021 6:06 am

You are so right
He's a Leach
A user of people
Get a real job and stand in his own to feet
Show you he a man
Then he has changed
You did right don't back down.
You can do it with kids
He can do it for you.
Xoxoxo have a wonderful day go enjoy the wild life.


lickeyzsplit 60M  
1516 posts
11/10/2021 5:26 am

Can only hope for his sake he gets his shit together! We live in a time where there are plenty of resources for misguided individuals ie Homeless to get food and some help ! I do feel bad for them, but We are Masters of our own destiny for the most part !They can Sit and feel sorry for themselves or get it together and build a life !! Just my 2 cents ? Hope all goes well


countryqueen1 73F

11/10/2021 4:51 am

Sometimes you just have to admit you can't fix someone.


mc_justmc 62M
6929 posts
11/10/2021 3:41 am

I know some guys like that and it amazes me that some women will support them while they breeze thru life.


spunkycumfun 62M/67F  
41171 posts
11/10/2021 3:09 am

It's very difficult to help a person if they don't want to help themselves.
I'd be fuming if I found out an ex was spending my money on non-essentials while they were with me!


CUMHANDLEME 60F
794 posts
11/10/2021 3:04 am

The hippie will more than likely never change.

Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!


Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
11/10/2021 2:42 am

Your analysis was a bleak one.
But hang on a sec, how many times have you said, "This is the last time I'm speaking with him?" 😶
I understand; having hope for a person you cared for is a tricky thing to give up.
Ya think he, maybe, perhaps, kinda — sorta — might veer towards the right lane? 🤔 ❓


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/10/2021 12:31 am

Right or wrong, we make them every day.

Every day... We live with the consequences as well.

I talked to the Hippie on the phone on Friday, probably a bad choice on my part. He had texted me and told me the Mighty Marine and I had inspired him to make some positive change in his life.

I was curious.

Turns out the positive change was giving up marijuana.

Not because he wanted to.... But because he was penniless and could not afford it. He went on to tell me about how he had spent nearly all of his money for years on marijuana and he now regretted it.

I kept it to myself, but this pissed me right the fuck off.

Really?!?

And, in that time that we were seeing each other, and he was always broke, and I was always paying for everything.... It was because he spent his money on drugs.

The worst part was, he was perfectly ok with expecting a struggling single mom to pay his way through everything.

I listened as he went on to tell me that his family has completely abandoned him and he has gone into survival mode, living on one canned good a day and collecting firewood in the woods around him because his dad did not have any firewood sent out to his house this year.

"You might be taking care of me and [the Spawn] this winter. Everyone has abandoned me."

Did he really think he was going to slip that in there?? And that I would say yes?!?

"Nope, just [the Spawn]."

"What was that?"

"I said just [the Spawn]. You're a grown man, it's time to act like it."

There was a long silence as he realized I wasn't about to just take him in and fix his problem.

I went on to ask him if he's been looking for a job and where he has applied.

He's applied nowhere.

The same old story about how he owes money for student loans and old credit card bills and now the government for collecting unemployment when he shouldn't have been started coming out..... I'd heard it all before.

"Stop. You've got to quit doing this. This is NEVER going away so you might as well get a job and deal with the garnishments."

Another long silence.

This man chose to burn all those bridges with his family. He kicked his father out of his home and threatened to end his life, what did he expect?

It kind of takes away that feeling of obligation to support your loser son.

This man has probably been spending thousands of dollars year after year on wood deliveries for the Hippie because he knew the Hippie wouldn't be doing it for himself.

He was correct.

This year is proof in point.

Winter is upon us and he is completely unprepared.

There was a time when I though the Hippie had promise and hope, that he would turn things around and get back on track.

It took me a while to realize, this was never going to happen.

Even now, as he's hovering around rock bottom, he's still trying to find that next meal ticket instead of getting his shit together.

I felt some closure when I ended that call.

I will probably not know how he fares this winter or if he ever finds a job, my communication with the Hippie has reached an end. I do hope he will finally open his eyes and get his life on track.

He is the only person that can do that for him.


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