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Random stories, some erotic adventures of mine, some funny stories, some weird or interesting facts, some thoughts about life.. a little of everything..
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I have been waiting --- it is so so so very good
Posted:Nov 19, 2018 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
5488 Views

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.

Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw the door.

Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white skin.

From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin.

My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.

As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I.

I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.

"Oh yes", I say to you,

I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it,

I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender.

I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool..

"Thank God for this Butterball turkey...."
0 Comments
Did you hear that the guy who invented condoms died?
Posted:Oct 1, 2018 11:43 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
5580 Views

It was very sad, very swift....and the worst part? He left no heirs.


Yes, very sad. Inventing the condom was the climax of his professional career, and except for his condominium, he died broke. When he got sick, the doctors expected him to snap back, but apparently he was beyond his expiration date. It's reported that his final words were to his sobbing girlfriend when he told her to "get a grip". Then he shuddered and went limp as the last spurt of life left him. He was especially popular with the navy, so a lot of sea men are expected to come to his funeral. His friends will be attending the services in a stretch limo in which they'll be toasting his life with a magnum of champagne.
0 Comments
BEFORE SEX
Posted:Sep 25, 2018 2:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
5554 Views

You help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself.
Moral of story: In life, no one helps you once you are fucked.
0 Comments
A Russian Female and her problems
Posted:Aug 29, 2018 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
5630 Views

A Russian female friend of mine married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto .WE did threesomes is how I got to know her. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English but did manage to communicate with her husband and me. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
x
x
x
x
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What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

Have a great day!!
0 Comments
Fascinating to know who Seneca was
Posted:Jun 22, 2018 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
5842 Views

Seneca was a Roman stoic philosopher, statesman, dramatist and humorist. He was banished for 8 years because he was fucking the emperor's sister. He returned as advisor to Nero when Nero was 12 years old when Nero was sane and competent), but was later caught up in the plot to assassinate Nero. Nero forced him to commit suicide. Dante, 1200 years later, placed Seneca in the First Circle of of Hell, a place of virtual natural happiness for non-Christians..

I like him.. and now you know.
0 Comments
DO YOU WANT EROTIC STORIES?
Posted:May 27, 2016 1:12 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
6196 Views

Sometimes when the sex is good I write it up. I send to my partner to correct and critique and then share. Do you want me to post?
0 Comments
Are you using your erotic capital to get ahead?
Posted:May 26, 2016 9:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
6447 Views

There is a book: "Erotic Capital: The Power of Attraction in the Boardroom and Bedroom"

The author Catherine Hakim, a UK economist, makes the claim that many women do not take advantage of their sexual abilities to gain power, position, and influence. It is a theme that Helen Gurly Brown also wrote of when she wrote her book “Sex and the Single Girl.” Brown, of course, was for many years the Editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine and she did some of the most influential and powerful men in America and some overseas, too. She knew how to use “erotic power” and sex to enjoy the very good life, to have the finest of fine things, places and to move in the highest social circles. No she was not paid for sex. She used sex to get what she wanted.

According to Hakim's deliberately provocative new book, "erotic capital"—which is a combination of six qualities, including beauty, sex appeal, social grace, liveliness, social presentation, and sexual competence—should not be marginalized. For example she says if you're in the bottom one-seventh of Americans in the looks department, you earn as much as 15 percent less than someone in the top one-third of attractiveness.

She also says men are getting a higher return on their erotic capital. The whole book is about how valuable erotic capital is for men and women, but the main problem is there's sex discrimination and that women are not getting the kind of economic returns that men are getting. They're getting lower economic returns. And therefore, the argument is women need to do some catching up, and women need to make sure that they get the kind of return that men are already getting. That's really the key point about this.

According to Hakim there is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed of exploiting it and no reason at all for you to be embarrassed at saying this has value. People who are stupid are penalized. Discrimination is part of life itself. Discrimination is part of being an intelligent and thinking person. Hakim can't see any possible reason for saying if erotic capital has genuine social and economic value, then those who don't have it will not be winning in that area. They may win in other areas. They may be very intelligent, and therefore getting that advantage. They may be very gifted in music or sport or politics or some other area of activity, but they're certainly not getting the benefit of high erotic capital.
0 Comments
Are you a professional model?
Posted:May 24, 2016 10:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
6653 Views

Did you see the CNN investigatinve report:

Stolen pay. Sexual harassment. Months without a paycheck. Outrageous fees and expenses that eat away at earnings. And no one to turn to for help.

Models allege that labor abuses like these run rampant in the modeling industry -- leaving many workers feeling more like indentured servants than the glamorous high fashion icons around the world dream of becoming.

While the industry often comes under fire for eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse and unwanted sexual advances, its problems go far beyond that.

From an analysis of pay stubs and financial statements, interviews with dozens of current and former models, attorneys, labor experts and even a former agency executive, a CNNMoney investigation has found that the fashion world often treats its models in ways that would be unheard of in many other industries. And due to a significant lack of regulation, these abuses can be completely legal.

http://TSdates.com.com

Have you experienced this?
0 Comments
My friend's story
Posted:May 23, 2016 9:20 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2016 10:10 am
6928 Views

The Journey of my friend. Suggestions?

When he was 13, he hoped that one day he would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When he was 16 he got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so he decided he needed a passionate girl with a zest for life..

In college he dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So he decided he needed a girl with stability.

When he was 25 he found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that he decided that he needed a girl with some excitement.

When he was 28 he found an exciting girl, but he couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.

She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So he decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When he turned 30, he found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so he married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced him and took everything he owned.

He is now older and wiser now, and he is looking for a girl with big tits.Suggestions?
3 Comments
Trip to Las Vegas
Posted:May 18, 2016 8:48 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2016 12:34 pm
7038 Views

My buddy Mick was drinks with us and told us he couldn't make the upcoming Las Vegas trip because his wife wouldn't let him go.

After suffering a bunch of under the thumb remarks and other derisive remarks Mick left to go back home to the missus.

When Mick's friends, including me, started arriving at the airport and getting ready to check in the following week who should be there but Mick. He drove into the parking garage, rolled out of his car, carry on in hand, beaming from ear to ear.

“How did you talk your wife into letting you go Mick?”"

I didn't have to,” was Mick's reply.

“When I left the meeting last week I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. When the missus snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, ‘Surprise’.

When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, ‘Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do what ever you want.’

SO HERE I AM.”
1 comment
6 Truths of life
Posted:May 17, 2016 8:40 am
Last Updated:May 18, 2016 8:41 am
7038 Views

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and
look up at the ceiling at the same time.



















2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.





3. And discover #1 is a lie.





4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.
1 comment
What is going on?
Posted:May 6, 2016 9:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2022 8:30 am
7944 Views

I am headed to Las Vegas Monday for a business conference and….. Flying reminds me of one time I was flying and there was a woman sitting next to me in first class. The woman sneezed and took a tissue and wiped between her legs. I saw what she did and thought it was a little strange (wouldn’t you?).

When the woman sneezed again and took a tissue and wiped between her legs, I was really puzzled at what she was doing. Once again the woman sneezed and again took a tissue and wiped between her legs.

I could not contain my curiosity any longer; I had to ask her, “I couldn’t help noticing that every time you sneeze you wipe between your legs. Why are you doing that?”

To which she responded, “It's a medical problem. I orgasm when I sneeze.”

“Oh I'm sorry. What do you take for it?”

She smiled and said, “Pepper.”

That is why I always take a can of pepper with me when I am flying.

Have a great week !! (and yes, it was a joke, not a true story) And there is a new scientific study out that says happiness begins at 50 years of age. I am over that. One of the top ten reasons is that when you are over 50 you can tell more jokes and a second reason if when you are over 50, you have an excuse for telling the same stories (and jokes) over and over again.
0 Comments
Murphy's Laws of Sex
Posted:May 5, 2016 8:40 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2016 11:13 am
8425 Views

Do you agree or disagree with one or more of these Murphy's Laws of SEX?

1.The more beautiful the woman is whom you are fucking, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4.Sex has no calories.
5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8.No sex with anyone in the same office.
9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12.Virginity can be cured.
13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16.Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17.It is always the wrong time of month.
18.The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19.When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20.Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21.Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22.The younger the better.
23.The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24.It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25.Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26.Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27.There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
28.Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
29.Love is a hole in the heart.
30.If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-stands on the moon.
31.Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
32.Do it only with the best.
33.Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
34.One good turn gets most of the blankets.
35.You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
36. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
37.It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38.Thou shalt not commit adultery.... .unless in the mood.
39.Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
40.Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41.Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
42.A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
43.What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
44.It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
45.Never say no.
46.A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
47.Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
48.Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
49.Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
50.A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51.Love comes in spurts.
52.The world does not revolve on an axis.
53.Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
54.Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55.Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
56.There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57.Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
58."This won't hurt, I promise."
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