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Lady’s Lair 📚 🖊
Thank you for stopping by.
This is a place where I share my thoughts, stories and interesting information.
Your comments about my posts are always welcomed.
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How Do You Want To Be Remembered?
Posted:Sep 9, 2021 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2021 1:19 pm

People want to be remembered as kind and generous after they die, not wealthy and powerful. There's been a trend of high-profile billionaires promising to give away a large chunk of their fortune, eventually and this might be why.

Someone conducted a survey on how people would like to be remembered after they pass away and 43% of people want to be remembered as a "good person."
Other popular responses were: kind, caring, loyal, helpful, a good listener, loving, happy, a good spouse, being true to yourself, a good parent, easy-going, hardworking, funny and generous.

The list did not include things some people might like being known as while they're alive: wealthy, powerful, famous, ruthless, and important.

In the survey, 65% of people said they believe it's important to leave behind a positive legacy. And 46% say they'll give a small percentage to charity in their will.
Just Because
Posted:Sep 8, 2021 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2021 11:10 pm
When Is It Too Much
Posted:Sep 6, 2021 3:32 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2021 5:18 am

Too much of anything can turn into an addiction. The word “addiction” suggests gambling, drinking, and drugs. But there are other habits, behaviours, and even beauty products that are surprisingly addictive. Here are a few you may not be aware of.

Lip Balm
Have you ever sat with a friend and watched as he or she applied and then reapplied lip balm repeatedly? There's actually a scientific reason for it. The ingredients in some products can end up being super drying, which prompts you to feel the need to keep reapplying in a vicious cycle. The person can also be very used to the textural feeling on his or her lips so when they don't have the product on, they feel that something is missing. I know people like this. Do you?

Teeth Whitening
It’s one thing to use whitening strips regularly to remove red wine and coffee stains. It’s quite another to be addicted to bleaching your teeth. There’s even a term for it: Bleachorexia refers to being addicted to bleaching teeth. Overuse or misuse of whitening products such as lasers, strips, gels, rinses, or pastes can cause noticeable sensitivity, tooth pain, gum irritation, and weakened enamel, often temporary, but sometimes more permanent. At worst, teeth begin to demineralize with time, since whitening products strip tooth enamel resulting in transparent-looking teeth. Never tried it and know I never will.

Eating Dirt and Other Non-Edible Items
An addiction to eating dirt and other items that are not edible is pica This is actually a common addictive disorder in those with autism or other developmental delays but can be seen in people with iron deficiency anemia (consuming ice or sand). Eating non-edible items can sometimes lead to choking or poisonings. Some people even consume soap or laundry detergent. I hadn't heard of this until I did my recent post on Word Power

Exercise addiction is well established in the scientific literature and usually means that your day isn’t complete unless you’ve gotten in a run, hit the gym, or hopped on a bike. Exercise addicts tend to use exercise as a coping strategy to control emotions. Sometimes anorexics do this to control their weight

Plastic Surgery
Plastic surgery can quickly become an addiction for some. Patients seeking Botox often start out wanting to look ‘natural’. Once they see how Botox smooths out fine lines and relaxes deep furrows, they notice small lines when they make expressions, and they want those gone too. Pretty soon, if the physician lets them, the ‘natural’ look becomes frozen. Other common “addictions” include facial fillers, especially in the lips and cheeks, and liposuction. “Procedural ‘addicts’ are usually unaware of their addiction and most often need to be turned away by their plastic surgeon. I don't know anyone personally who is like this but have you ever seen the show Botched?.

With 45M Americans said to have at least one tattoo and of that, 32% say they’re addicted, the question is why? Addiction is psychosomatic. If you imagine that tattoos can change people’s perception of you, you can believe that a new image on your skin will impress others, boost your self-esteem, and eliminate the need for more needlework. I often heard, once you get one, you can't stop there

Pulling Your Hair
The clinical term for this is trichotillomania and it’s when someone can’t stop twisting or pulling their hair out. It often doesn’t just stop with the hair on the head, either. Some people will pull the hair on their eyebrows or even eyelashes as a compulsive urge or mindless habit, such as when they are zoned out watching TV. I have known people who do this and it's so distracting when trying to have a conversation with them.

Whether you enjoy having sex (and therefore feel like you need to have a lot of it) or can’t stop looking at porn, you may have hypersexual disorder The disorder also means your brain is hardwired similar to someone who has a gambling or drug addiction, making it difficult to give up that behaviour. There is a lot of debate about whether sex addiction is real. What do you think?
Being Vulnerable Is NOT A Weakness
Posted:Sep 5, 2021 9:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2022 6:34 am

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be scary. But, it’s also a powerful and authentic way to live. It takes strength and bravery.

Being vulnerable means being honest about how you feel. It’s about opening yourself up to someone, letting that person into your world

Being vulnerable involves uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness. Deciding to put yourself 'out there' is the opposite of being weak.

I am sharing this as a reminder to everyone that every time you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you actually empower yourself.
Brain Game Challenge
Posted:Sep 4, 2021 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2021 6:07 pm

We are often reminded to exercise our bodies but neglect exercising our brains. Studies have shown that keeping the brain active is associated with a reduced risk for Alzheimer's.

Here are some 'brain teasers' for you to try.
No cheating.
No calculators!

1. House Numbers
My twin lives at the reverse of my house number. The difference between our house numbers ends in two. What are the lowest possible numbers of our house?

2. Egg Equation
If a hen and a half lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will half a dozen hens lay in half a dozen days?

3. Two By Two
You know 2 + 2 comes to the same as 2 x 2. Now find a set of three different whole numbers whose sum is equal to their total when multiplied.

4. Apple Harvest
Mrs. Jones was very proud of her apple tree. One autumn, after harvesting her apples, she called her three sons together. “Here are 150 apples,” she said. “I want you to take them to the market tomorrow and sell them for me.” She gave Paul 15 apples, Nick 50, and Ben 85. “Your job,” added Mrs. Jones, “is to sell the apples in such a way that each of you brings home the same amount of money.” How do they do it?

5. Inheritance
Granny Adams left half her money to her granddaughter and half that amount to her grandson. She left a sixth to her brother, and the remainder, $1,000, to the dogs’ home. How much did she leave altogether?

6. Rain Man
A man was walking in the rain. He was in the middle of nowhere. He had nothing and nowhere to hide. He came home all wet, but not a single hair on his head was wet. How is that possible?

7. Classroom Math
14 of the in the class are girls. 8 of the wear blue shirts. 2 of the are neither girls or wear a blue shirt. If 5 of the are girls who wear blue shirts how many are in the class?

8. The Man and His Car
A man pushes his car to a hotel and tells its owner that he is bankrupt. Why?

9. The Photograph
A man is looking at a photograph of someone. His friend asks who it is. The man replies, “Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s .” Who was in the photograph?

How do you think you did?

Scroll down to the comment section for the Answers
Setting and Keeping Goals
Posted:Sep 3, 2021 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2021 3:37 pm

Why are some goals so hard to keep? And why do we keep setting the same goals - again and again - even after we fail?

According to psychologist Dr. Janet Polivy, several new studies show that the human brain is “hard-wired” to be optimistic- which drives us to challenge ourselves, and believe that we can achieve new things. But, Dr. Polivy says there are times when our optimism can get the best of us, and sabotage our chances of success because we tend to set unrealistically high expectations for ourselves.

Do you set personal goals or make "Daily To-Do Lists"? How well do achieve or keep them?
While I Can Still
Posted:Sep 2, 2021 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2021 3:33 pm

This poem was written by a friend of mine who is legally blind and her remaining eyesight continues to deteriorate. She is a respected advocate in the blind and partially-sighted community. I have been proud to support her through a number of volunteer activities.
I have shared this before. However, her words seem particularly poignant during the past few days and helped me put things into perspective.

While I can still…
See and hear,
Walk and talk,
Smell and taste,
Feel and touch,
Laugh and smile.
I will keep on going.

While I can still…
Dream and hope,
Forgive and let go,
Believe and trust,
Love and care,
I will keep on going.

While I can still...
Give thanks and appreciate,
Find peace and joy,
Keep the faith,
I will keep on going.

While I can still…
Breathe the gift of life,
I will keep on going,
Till my journey ends.
Posted:Sep 1, 2021 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2022 6:27 pm

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for your support, kind words and encouragement.

Thank you for sharing in my stories, thoughts and feelings and for sharing yours.

There’s not enough words to express my gratitude 🙏

Every Day You Have A Choice
Posted:Aug 31, 2021 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2022 6:29 pm

Every day we have a choice about how we are going to face life and all that it throws at us.

The last couple of days, I could have curled up into a ball and cried until there were no more tears to shed.

However, that's not who I am. And I know that's not how my wants me to live. He wants me to be strong and for his sister and I to continue to look out for each other.

Here's what I am choosing to do.

Challenge Yourself To Control How You Respond
Posted:Aug 30, 2021 1:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2022 6:30 pm

How you react and recover from challenges and difficulties is a choice.

Yesterday, I received shocking, unexpected news that no parent ever wants to hear.

After gut-wrenching soul searching, trying to make sense of what happened, a good cry and a sleepless night, I got up this morning accepting I am not responsible for my 's choices. I always told them, once they step outside the front door, they decide what path they will take. My fervent wish was they would align with my beliefs.

I also acknowledge there is nothing I could have done to change the news. Nor can I change the future. I can only find a way to deal with it. I have to.
I Would Rather Die of Passion Than of Boredom
Posted:Aug 29, 2021 4:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2021 6:08 pm

When you mention the word passion, people automatically think you are going to talk about passion in a sexual context It generally implies a deeper or more encompassing emotion than that implied by the term lust.

Passion is a feeling of intense enthusiasm towards or compelling desire for someone or something.

Passion is an emotion to be embraced. It is what motivates us and keeps us moving forward.

Passion for art, literature, sport, for doing good by someone or something, for love, for your faith. Passion lights a fire deep within us. It gives us the energy to reach our goals.

Building your passion for someone takes you to the next level and is beyond a sexual attraction.

I think real passion for another human being is about knowing that person and all that they are, all that they need and all that they are capable of becoming. Look inside, see who they really are. What makes them breathe? What matters to them?

**In 1883 Mile Zola released “Au Bonheur des Dames” that contained an instance of this saying in French. In October 1884, Vincent van Gogh wrote a letter to his brother Theo that included the quotation as part of a larger excerpt from Zola’s novel. Thus, both well-known figures employed the saying, but Zola was the originator.**
Sex Talk Myths vs Reality
Posted:Aug 28, 2021 11:26 am
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2021 8:46 am

Thanks to porn, sex hook-up sites and 'urban myths', sexual misinformation can abound. Here's some factual information that may surprise you.

Women Get Erections Too
Women actually get erections in their genitals. Even though they’re smaller than the male counterpart, they are just as important, says Sadie Allison, DHS, a sexologist, founder of Tickle Kitty and author of Tickle His Pickle–Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing. “The clitoris is made up of the same spongy erectile tissue as the penis, which expands and engorges with blood when aroused,” she explains. “You can observe this—just look at your clitoris or touch it when you’re aroused and it will be bigger.”

A Headache Doesn't Lessen Everyone's Mood
Contrary to the popular cliché, “Not tonight, I have a headache,” one study found that not all headache sufferers avoid sexual activity. In fact, migraine sufferers reported higher levels of sexual desire according to the research done by the Wake Forest University School of Medicine and colleagues. Why? “Our study suggests that sexual desire and migraine headaches may be influenced by the same brain chemical,” said Timothy Houle, Ph.D., lead author and research assistant professor of anesthesiology

The Clitoris Is Way Bigger Than You Think It Is
In addition to the part of the clitoris you can see, there’s a much larger part, called the clitoral urethral vaginal complex that is nderneath the skin that also engorges with arousal, says Stella Harris, certified intimacy educator and sex coach and author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. When a woman is aroused, the vaginal canal also lengthens as the uterus is pulled further upward into the body, the angle often changing as well. “Not only is this fascinating, but it’s one of the reasons that waiting for full arousal means having more pleasurable sex; sex is best when your body is ready,” she says.

The G spot Exists. Except It Doesn’t
“G spot" is a misnomer, as what we consider the ‘spot’ isn’t a discrete anatomical entity. Instead, it’s an area of the urethral sponge that is highly sensitive for many people. But bodies and arousal are complex, and there’s no sure-fire technique, or even erogenous zone, that works for everyone. So basically you may have a spot you identify as the G spot but it isn’t a spot and it won’t work the same for every woman

A Big Penis Won’t “stretch out” A Vagina
A weirdly popular myth is that having too much sex or having sex with a large partner or toy can stretch out a woman’s vagina and/or labia. The vaginal canal is a muscle and does not permanently stretch from having accommodated a large penis or toy. The vagina is incredibly resilient and bounces back quickly. Also, the shape and size of the labia are unique to each woman and are not indicative of her sexual status or history.

Penis Girth Is More Important Than Length
Many men like to compare the length of their penises but the only people who really care about that number are… other men. The vagina mainly is covered in stretch mechanoreceptors, which means that girth (or width) is a more important aspect of the penis for women, on average,” according to Nicole Prause, PhD, a sexual physiology researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, and licensed psychologist.

More Thrusting Does Not Equal More Fun
Forget what you see in porn, “pounding”, or fast, hard thrusting, doesn’t turn most women on and it can actually cause pain and injury. The most common place women experience pain during sex is in the vulvar vestibule, just under the opening to the vagina, where a thin skin stretches underneath the opening that is very vulnerable to abrasion and tearing. This is why generally women do not benefit from (or want) prolonged ‘pounding,’ which just drags the penis repeatedly across this area, creating painful friction fairly quickly.

Masturbation Is Bad For You
Some masturbation myths are that it can make a man go blind; that it can lead to erectile dysfunction; and that it can cause sexual dysfunction in women.
In fact, specialists argue that there’s no such thing as masturbating too often and that it actually brings a plethora of health benefits, including released tension, eased menstrual cramps, and, no less importantly, a “roadmap for [the] body,”

A Cucumber Is Not A Sex Toy
Silicone, steel, Pyrex, glass, or specially laminated wood are the only materials that are actually safe for use inside your body. Toys made with vinyl, latex or a combination of these with other plastics (for example, a silicone-jelly mix) are not considered to be safe for skin contact and should only be used with a condom.
The Long Awaited Kiss
Posted:Aug 27, 2021 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2021 5:26 pm

He moved towards her, closing his hand around her shoulder. Deliberately, he turned her around to face him.

“Whatever, you do, do not say you are sorry,” he said, “I am doing this for my reasons.”

She managed a smile. “I know. You are doing it because you can’t stop yourself. You are a guardian angel by nature.”

“No, I am doing it at least in part, because I have a few questions. But I must make something very clear.”

“And what would that be? ” she asked a little puzzled.

“Mostly, I am doing this because of you.”

She was not sure how she should respond but it didn’t matter because he kissed her then and she was stunned into speechlessness.

The kiss was not a ’s fantasy come true. It was much more, because she was a woman now and she knew enough about kissing to be able to judge his kiss.
It was not the kiss of her girlish dreams. There was nothing sweet or romantic or gently, seductive about it. This was all about primal, masculine desire and fiercely controlled passion. This was the kind of a kiss a man gave a woman when he sets out to make it clear, he wants her.

She knew intuitively there were different possible responses to such a kiss. She could return it with fervent interest or she could break free and walk back towards her car. There was no middle ground. There never would be with him.

For the first time in her life, she realized there was no middle ground for her either. She went all in, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back with a sensual hunger she had never before experienced. Excitement sent adrenaline racing throughout her body.

He freed her lips and moved his mouth toward her ear, she was hot and cold, breathless and a little shaky. She clutched him, savouring his musky scent and the hard feel of his unyielding body. When she kissed the skin of his throat he exhaled deeply. She wasn’t sure if it was a sign of pleasure or surprise.

He used one finger to raise her chin. His mouth came back down on hers in another intense kiss. She could feel the heat of the fire smouldering just beneath the surface.

He shuddered, took a deep breath and held her slightly away from him. In the moonlight, his eyes were darkly brilliant.

Fascinated, she touched the side of this jaw. He turned his mouth into her hand and kissed her palm.

“Don’t tell me, you didn’t see this coming,” he said, his voice rough and edgy. “Because I sure didn’t.”

“I saw it coming,” she admitted. “But, it still caught me by surprise.”

“I didn’t think I could still get surprised like this.”

She smiled. “Years ago, I had a huge crush on you. But you barely knew I existed.”

He pushed her hair back from her face with his fingers. “You were just very young then.”

”Yes, I know, but I’m definitely not anymore.”

“So I noticed.” He brushed his mouth lightly across hers. “I would give a lot to take you to bed tonight but it’s probably too soon and there’s no bed.” It wasn’t a statement, she realized. It was a question.

“I’m sure the problem of a bed could be easily fixed,” she said. “But you are right, it’s too soon.” She slipped out of his embrace and headed back toward her car.

“Hey! You could have at least argued with me about the timing.”

She laughed and he did too. He caught up with her and kissed the tip of her nose and opened her car door.

She smiled confidently. “How will we know when the time is right?” she asked.

“Don’t worry, we will both know,”


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