PLEASE no fakes. I'm not falling for it, so don't waste your time or insult my intelligence trying. thanks. Just an ordinary guy, I grew up in England and bumbled my way through to university, where I was good friends with the of a chinese triad gangster - until I had to brutally beat him and tie him naked to a tree because he insulted my mum. Ever since then I've been on the run from the Triad. This has taken me to locations as exotic as the Kazakh Steppes, the Amazon, and Slough. Not to mention that I bumped into this guy once who I thought was Triad, but it turned out he was a Yakuza and NOT amused by being mistaken for a Chinese per ... so now I've got them after me too. Such a peripatetic lifestyle does not make it easy for me to meet ladies, hence why I am on this site. It's not because I'm desperate and can't get women any other way, I promise. I do have standards and boundaries. For example, if you're taller than me, I absolutely won't do it with you unless you wear an armadillo costume. I can't show my face in my profile, but if you msg me, I'll send you a (encrypted) link.

My Ideal Person I am a member of fun4two.nl, one of the best and biggest swinger sites in Holland. (As my mum always used to say, no matter how many rabid gangsters you have on your tail, there's always time for an orgy!) Check out their website, it's really good. People have asked me if this bit is true or not - this bit really is true, I promise.

However, I have no one to go with, and I really miss it, so if you're interested then give me a shout. We'll go out for dinner or something, and if I like you, I'll take you along. If you're not into group sex, then let's go out for dinner anyway. I'll try and talk you into it

I live in South Holland. My dutch isn't great, but I'm trying to practise, so if you're dutch that's a small bonus. Other than that, all the usual predictable things I guess. Hot, horny and ... and ... hyperactive? (Can't think of any other adjectives starting with h). We men are simple creatures.